Vintage Indiana (GIVEAWAY)

Every year, there is this really awesome event called Vintage Indiana.  It's a festival of local wines.  It's located at Military Park in downtown Indianapolis.  There are hundreds of wines to taste and buy.  Wineries from all over the state come to show off their best wines - everything from dry, spicy reds to super sweet dessert wines.  Some wineries grow the grapes in Indiana and some produce wine from grapes outside of the state.

The awesome thing about the Indiana wine scene that I've noticed is that it is growing and maturing.  A decade ago, Indiana wines were very focused on sweet wines.  Lots of honey wine and fruit wine but not much complexity.  Now, you will truly find a wine for any and every possible taste preference.

This year, Vintage Indiana is on June 1.  And it's going to be a great day!  Great wine, lots to learn and try, and live music!

Some fun facts (provided to me by Indiana Wines):

• 30 Indiana wineries will offer samples of over 300 wines. 
• This is Indiana’s largest wine festival featuring locally crafted wine!
• Indiana has 69 wineries.  They produce over 1.25 million gallons of wine a year and attract over 2 million visitors.  The 70^th winery will open sometime in May! 
• Adults tickets are $22 in advance at Marsh Supermarkets or online at www.vintageindiana.com  $25 at gate
• Designated Driver tickets are $10 and include unlimited soft drinks and water.  No wine glass or wine samples allowed on this ticket.
• Kids ages 6-20 are $5.  Under 5 years old are free.

If you want to learn more about the event, there are tons of ways to connect!

Follow Vintage Indiana on Twitter.  Tweet from the event or leading up with the hashtag #VintageIN.

Check out the Vintage Indiana website.  Check out the Facebook page, too!

And the best part this year?

I have 2 tickets to give away!!

I'm going to be looking for people to help spread the news and create some buzz for the event (hahaha -buzz for a wine event - get it??).

1 entry for leaving a comment on this blog post.

1 entry for leaving a comment on my Eternal Lizdom page (either a comment on the blog post or writing on my Wall about it).

1 entry if you tweet about Vintage Indiana (make sure you tag @VintageIndiana and @EternalLizdom).

1 entry if you tag Eternal Lizdom on the Vintage Indiana facebook page.

1 entry if you post on your personal Facebook page about Vintage Indiana and encourage your friends to go!

Basically - if you show me that you are promoting Vintage Indiana, you get an entry.  You just have to show me- feel free to leave comments here on this post for anything you do to promote the event!  And make sure you are promoting the event and not this giveaway, please.

Winner will be drawn on Tuesday, May 21.  

I have received admission to Vintage Indiana but no compensation for this post or giveaway.  The 2 tickets will be left at Will Call under the winner's name.  

Harry Potter

I've been waiting for the exact right time to introduce my kids to Harry Potter.

I'm not the kind of fan that would dress up like a character and I don't know the realm of wizardy the way some people do - as if they actually live there.

I have read every book and I did eagerly wait for their release in between books.  I devoured them when they came out.

I have stood in line for a midnight showing of a Harry Potter movie and I have shared Bertie Bott's Every Flavor Beans with people in line - great fun to hand someone a booger flavored bean!

I purchased a copy of Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone a while back and have been waiting for the right time for it to become our family book.  And that time is now.

It started out pretty slow.  We read a chapter one night and then it was about a week before we picked it up again.  Then a few nights.  Read half a chapter.  But then we implemented our new schedule and reading time at bed time became a priority.  And missing Harry Potter time is a Big Deal.

Teagan is hooked.

I'm reading the book to both kids.  And Teagan is fully invested.  She remembers where we left off in the story, she asks questions about what things mean or why things have happened.  She has even asked for reading time in the middle of the day - we sat on the porch and read a chapter on Mother's Day.

We're about half way through the book and I'm falling in love with it all over again.  It's a different experience to read it 14 years later and also to read it out loud and see parts of it through my children's eyes.

We're at the part where Harry has just had his first flying lesson and gets caught by Professor McGonagall.  Fans know what happens next...

I love that Teagan wants to know what Hagrid looks like, what Harry looks like and that we get to talk about the descriptions of them in the book and come up with our own versions instead of my child already knowing the movie version of the characters.  I love that Zach sits quietly and listens - even though I know he is getting a different experience than Teagan.  I love that Teagan always wants to read more.  I love that she picks up the book and rereads chapters we've already read.

I also love that reading together as a family has meant that reading has kicked up as a hobby for all of us.  Zach loves it when Teagan reads Junie B. Jones books to him.  Jeff is almost always reading something.  I'm in the middle of Miss Peregrine's Home for Peculiar Children now, too.

It's going to be a summer of reading!

Mother's Day Weekend 2013

Teagan came home from school with a Mother's Day gift for me - she'd made a coupon book and filled out a variety of things she wanted to do for me.  She gave it to me on Friday evening and said the coupons can be used multiple times but all have to be used this weekend!

Foot massages, back massages, making breakfast and dinner, making cookies...  and getting a makeover.

So we headed over to Ulta - just us girls - and we got our face did up all purty...

Before:

And we had a little fun with our after selfies...

Happy Mother's Day!

Celebrating Adoption - 28 Years

This is a reprint/update of my post from May 10, 2009.

I was born in California to my mother and father. My father was a loser. Couldn't hold a job and didn't try very hard. According to my mother, marrying him was an act of rebellion. In her stubbornness, she made many efforts to make it work. But it didn't.

When I was 3, mom packed us up and we moved to Lexington, KY to live with her parents. My father also moved home- to Louisville, KY. From what I'm told and from the little I remember, he didn't come around much. I do remember my mom and I driving to Louisville and spending Christmas with his family. By the time I was 5, my mom was fed up with him never paying any child support, never making any effort to see me, of him just being the loser he was. She was getting ready to start dental school, my grandparents were about to move to Elizabethtown, KY and we would be on our own. She stopped making the effort to include him in my life. If he wasn't willing to put out at least a 50% effort, she couldn't afford the energy and time to make it happen. He vanished. Never attempted contact.

I was a fatherless child.

I started school. Most of the other kids had dads. But divorce was becoming a growing phenomenon. My mom had me go to a school sponsored group for kids of divorced parents. But I couldn't relate- the other kids all knew their dads and spent most of the time talking about visiting their dad or meeting dad's new girlfriend. I just didn't have a dad.

My mom had started dating a man when I was 5. Around the time my grandparents moved away, he became more prevalent in our lives. He wasn't around a lot but he and my mom were slowly getting to know each other and spend time together. Things got more serious between them. Mom was in dental school, he was in medical school. He was scheduled to finish a year before her.

They got married the summer before I started 5th grade. Mom and I would travel each weekend up to Cincinnati- where my dad was doing his internship and residency and such. Several weeks before mom and I made our sudden move to Cincinnati, a major event happened.

The man my mom married... adopted me.

I had wanted a dad. All my friends had dads. I don't recall any other single moms in my group of friends. And a dad just seemed like a nice addition to a family. Usually playful and funny, slightly embarrassing, strong and secure and safe. At least that is how things looked from my dadless perspective.

Being adopted was a big deal for me. It meant that I had stepped up. It symbolized full acceptance of me. It was a fresh start. As an adult, the hard part of my adoption was dealing with the fact that my birth father came to the courthouse and signed away his paternal rights. The lawyers made him a deal he couldn't refuse- we would have no claim on all of that child support he'd never paid. In the processing of that, it did feel like he was selling me off. But it was truly the most loving decision he could have made- even if it was done for selfish reasons.

On May 10, I became my daddy's daughter.

My mom and dad went to the courthouse. I stayed in the lawyer's office with his secretary (his wife). I remember being excited to play on her typewriter. And I remember the look on my dad's face when they came back.

Every year, my dad and I celebrate my Adoption Day. A-Day. When I lived at home, it meant a dinner out, just the 2 of us. Once I moved away to Indiana, it meant phone calls and cards. But we still recognize the day every year.

I wouldn't be where I am right now if my mom and dad hadn't gotten married. And I wouldn't have felt as much a part of the new family unit if my dad hadn't adopted me. And given everything else that was chaotic in my childhood... having that anchor of safety in my dad gave me a level of confidence that I know helped me become the person I am now.

My dad has been my dad from the word go. While he wasn't a perfect dad... there is a lot he has done that means more than words could ever say. When everything from my childhood started surfacing, he loved me and believed me and helped me. He paid for my therapy. He paid for my hospital stay. He paid emotionally for the horrible attention-seeking choices I was making. He paid for college- all 5 years.

Like any parent, he has made a lot of mistakes. But they are dad mistakes and I am glad to have those unique challenges in my life that only a dad can bring.

More than that, he has taught me about faith, spirituality, loyalty, determination, compassion, and sacrifice.  Just like a dad is supposed to.

Happy A-Day to me and my dad!

Falling Apart and Starting Again

Parenting is very often quite similar to healthy living and exercise plans.

We have the best of intentions.  But then life gets in the way and we lose sight of our goals and we fall off the wagon.  We gain weight, get lazy, and feel like we've failed.

In parenting, I know what my child needs.  I try my best.  But life keeps getting in the way and I lose sight of what I need and what she needs and what he needs.  And I yell and she melts down and he overcompensates and we all feel like we've failed.

We've been in a low for a couple of weeks.  We've been in the despair part of the low for the past several days.

This morning was the worst it has been in a very long time.  There was yelling and crying and attitude and screaming and shouting and refusals to cooperate.  And this was from her and from me.

I knew we couldn't keep on like this.  Not if we are going to do fun things on weekends.  Not if we are going to like being around each other when we go to Disney in 4 weeks.

So I asked my fellow wise moms for support and help.  I was pointed to some great resources.  I spent a lot of the morning reading, writing, researching, thinking, digging.  And I came up with a plan.  Emailed it to Jeff and he agreed.

Tonight, we had a family meeting and new Family Responsibilities and Opportunities have been laid out.  We also have a set of Morning Expectations and and Evening Schedule.

We've never been so regimented.  But we've also never been so out of control.

Step One - Control the Chaos

We have to make a concentrated effort to get the family areas of the home under control.  Bathroom renovation project must get done this weekend.  Dining room must become fully functional again.

Step Two - Crack down on diet.  

We have limited options for breakfast and dinner (the meals we have total control over).  Dinner is especially important since it is often a source of stress and chaos.  Dinner will now be a main entree like chicken or a peanut butter sandwich.  We will have bread available - sliced or rolls.  Then a variety of fresh fruits and veggies.  Lastly, dairy options such as yogurt and cheese.

Step Three - Implementation of new family Repsonsibilities and Opportunities

Responsibilities:  

• We treat each other with respect.  This means we use kind voices.  We choose kind and loving words.  
• We treat each other with gentleness and affection.  This means hugs and snuggles.  This means soft voices and laughter.  This means we care about each other and want to show that we care about each other.
• We follow the schedule.  There is a set schedule for evenings.  There is a list of “what to do” for each morning.  
• We take care of our things.  Mommy and Daddy are going to be working hard to get our house in better shape. We want your rooms to be taken care of, too.  This means picking up and putting away toys when we are done playing, putting away books, and putting away clean clothes left in our rooms.

Opportunities:

• You have the opportunity for a family fun night on every Friday.  This might mean going out to do something fun with friends or it might be a movie night at home.  
• You have the opportunity for the bedtime routine.  Choosing to ignore the family responsibilities means choosing to go to bed 15 minutes early (this means missing out on family reading time and/or shower time).  
• You have the opportunity to ride your scooter/play outside.  When we choose to follow our responsibilities, we can take time in the evening schedule to play outside.  
• You have the opportunity for fun family outings on the weekends.  When we are all following the family responsibilities, we can do fun things as a family – like trips to Ritchey Woods, going to the park, time with friends, going to the movies, and more!  
• You have the opportunity to have clothes and toys and books.  It is your responsibility to take care of those things by playing with them gently and by putting them away when you are done playing.

Step Four - Evening Schedule

We brought it down to the minute on paper.  Tonight was our first evening of implementation and it went well and we ended up ahead of schedule by just a few minutes.  

Every effort must be made to have everyone home before 5:30.  As soon as we are home, the kids will take about 15 minutes of quiet time in their rooms.  They can choose any quiet activity in their rooms during that unwinding time - reading, playing, coloring, resting, and so on.  While they have this unwinding time, Mom and/or Dad will be prepping the kid buffet in the kitchen.

Dinner should be around 5:45.  Each child gets their plate and only takes the food the intend to eat.  You can have seconds afte ryou eat most of what you took.  There is no sugary junk.  There are no other snacks.  Leftovers from dinner can be eaten after later evening activities if needed.

Dinner should be done no later than 6:15.  Then it is homework time.  Teagan will work on her assignments and Zach will work with a parent on sight words and reading.

Homework should be done around 6:30-6:40.  This moves us into Family Time.  20-30 minutes to take a walk, play a game, or other total family activities.  

7:00 begins the bedtime routine.  Teagan gets 10 minutes for a shower and then Zach gets a quick tub wash up when she's done.  While one child is getting clean, the other spends time picking up their room.  Then it is time to brush teeth and gather in mom and dad's bed for Family Reading Time.

We are currently on Chapter Six of Harry Potter and the Sorceror's Stone.  The kids are loving it!

By 7:30-7:40 we are done with reading.  It's time to get kids tucked in and snuggled.  Then say prayers.  Then the kids have an opportunity to have mom or dad sit at the foot of the bed for 5 minutes while they calm their bodies down to go to sleep.

Step Five - Morning Expectations

I've made up signs with words and pictures to help the kids know exactly what is expected of them each morning.  Our expectations are really very simple.

- Get yourself completely dressed.  Shirt, pants, socks, shoes.

- Get breakfast

- Brush teeth

- Brush hair

- Pack up your backpack

So far, we have review of the new responsibilities and opportunities done and we've had our first evening routine.  Best evening we've had in a while.  Things to note about the plan - there is no screen time during the week.  No TV in the morning or the evening.  The first opportunity to watch TV or have screen time would be on a Friday Fun Night if we do movie night or hit the arcade or play Skylanders at home.  Saturday mornings can have some down time with TV - but we will limit TV to 1 hour or so.  The family's focus has to be on calming our environment and on spending family time together.

I handled this inaugural evening on my own as Jeff had a thing at church.  It went well.  We didn't need our full food prep or dinner time.  But that gave us wiggle room for family time.  We went for a walk around the block and laughed and enjoyed each other a lot.  Game home and played a game together.  Then, 5 minutes ahead of schedule, Teagan asked to go ahead and get her shower.  So we started the bedtime routine.  When it came time to sit at the foot of the bed, Teagan decided she didn't really need me to sit with her (which is fine- Zach is usually the one asking for someone to stay with him).

Our evening was fun.  Our bedtime was peaceful.  

We had a little attitude start to crop up when playing a game and things weren't going Teagan's way.  But a gentle reminder about our Responsibilities - treating each other with respect means having fun and being fair to everyone playing - and the issue resolved itself.

It's going to be tough to stick to this for the next 4 weeks.  But that is what I really think we have to do.  I think Teagan is burnt out on school and all the stresses of school.  I think Zach is apprehensive and sad that his time at Little Explorers coming to an end.  I think the eagerness for vacation is building for everyone.

We will have hiccups in the plan, I know.  We will have evenings where we have to figure out Plan B (like when Zach has Kindergarten Graduation in a couple of weeks).  Jeff and I will need to support each other, cover each other, make sacrifices.  

But if it strengthens our family, we win. 

Anger, Sin, Patience, and Parenting

Separating myself from the everyday stresses of life this past weekend was really important.  It was gorgeous.  Peaceful. Serene. Tranquil.  There was also plenty of laughter with friends and some hysterical moments that won't soon be forgotten.

And I came back renewed and refreshed and ready to face a challenge that needs to be faced.

We are struggling with Teagan.  She has wild mood swings that can make parenting very challenging.  And the very unfortunate part is that as the stress of life and parenting has increased, my patience and good choices have decreased.  I yell.  I get frustrated.  I even scream sometimes.

I lose my temper and it makes the situation worse.

I try different things to get through to her - grounding from TV, taking away toys.  It makes the situation worse.

As I packed for my weekend getaway, at the last second, I grabbed a book off my shelf that I haven't looked at in a couple of years.

The Only Three Discipline Strategies You Will Ever Need: Essential Tools for Busy Parents

by Chick Moorman and Thomas Haller

I didn't get around to reading it.  Instead, I completely separated from the stresses of home and focused just on letting go.  So when I came back home and was quickly reminded of the challenges, I picked up the book and scanned it and was reminded that I need to do better.

And since that realization, more and more reminders are coming.  God has stepped in and needs me to be a better mother.

I receive daily devotions.  I have signed up for about 3 or 4 but ony read one every day (Upper Room).  Today, I decided to read one that I haven't read in months.  Encouragement for Today.  It was kind of scary how it seemed to be written just for me.

When anger takes the lead, I can go from mild-mannered mother to micromanaging mama in three seconds flat to try and make my family "get with the program—and PRONTO!"

Rushing to anger in an attempt to micromanage can lead to hurt feelings, crumpled spirits and fractured relationships in need of repair. Of course we should expect our children to do as they are asked, to perform their chores or remember their school responsibilities.

But, when they don't—because they are kids and like us, not perfect—how will we chose to behave? Do we choose to be like Jesus who would respond appropriately and with self-control or like a wild woman who somehow thinks yelling is effective although it has never, ever worked in the past.

This lead me to sign up for the devotional author's challenge - Pause Before You Pounce.  I immediately received the Day One email.

But my kids just couldn't seem to get with the program and so? It made me get angry.

Later, after the shoes were straightened and some even put away in the house, I felt God tap me on the heart prompting me to apologize to my kids. I fought with Him for a while, arguing that the kids were the ones who should be apologizing to me for not doing as they'd been asked.

It was then that I felt God clearly say, "Mind your own sin, mom."

Ouch! Yes, my kids disregarding an instruction isn't right. Children should obey their parents. (Ephesians 6:1) But, when they don't? Well, I couldn't recall a single verse that then grants parents the right to holler and scream.

Mind your own sin.  Those are big words.  And a great reminder - I can't control Teagan or force her to make specific choices.  But I can and must control my own behavior and own my personal choices.

From these 2 emails and from my heart, I had 3 Bible verses staying with me.  I've made up some little signs to post around my house to help the grown ups remember...

And I am remembering the main lessons from the Moorman/Haller book.  To focus on naming the behavior and explaining, simply, why the behavior isn't ok in our family.  To explain things in terms of opportunity and responsibility.  To maintain my commitment to being the parent I want to be and the parent she needs me to be.

Obsession: Disney

ob·ses·sion

a persistent preoccupation with an idea or feeling

(I took out the negative words... like "unreasonable" and "disturbing.")

I have a new obsession.

All things Disney.  It's building as we get closer and closer to our vacation.  I've got plans in place to help us get our bodies prepared for all the walking required.  I've got plans in place to overload on Disney books and movies.  I've started to work on my lists for what we need to pack.  I'm overly concerned with making sure each member of the family has enough Disney t-shirts to wear for each day we are on our vacation.  Jeff might kill me for this set of matching and coordinating shirts that I want us to wear on the flight down... Mickey for the boys, Minnie for the girls.

I bought myself a red and white polka dot wristlet from Thirty One because it's very Minnie Mouse.

I got some adorable shoes that are also Minnie inspired.

I created an actual training plan for the family to help us be ready to walk up to 10 miles in a day - you can read about it over at the Be FIT Crew.

I keep searching for new blogs, new tips, new advice.  It isn't that I want to know everything, it isn't that I don't want surprises and magic.  That's going to happen no matter what.  But what I don't want is to be so overwhelmed by not knowing anything that I end up missing big or little things that could easily be enjoyed if I had only known.

I've created a Pinterest board just to keep track of all the Disney things I'm finding and liking and don't want to forget.

Best of all, I can focus on all these little details because I'm using Hi Ho Vacations to plan my trip.  Katie has been tremendous in helping me figure out which park on which day, what resort is best for our family, which restaurants to eat at and when, which characters meals are worth it.  She's been the one making the phone calls, booking things, getting discounts applied, and so on.  She and I sat down and went over each park and the best plan of action for each park.  She will have information for me on how to get to each park, how to use transportation.

I'm also getting quite reminiscent of my high school and college days when I also had a Disney obsession.  I had only been once - at that tender age of 5 when my mom took me for 1 day to the Magic Kingdom.  But there was such escape and fun in all things Disney that I couldn't help but love the movies.  Then the Disney Store hit the scene and I was a total sucker.  Watches, t-shirts, stuffed animals, prints.  I had 2 favorite watches and regret that I don't know where they are now.  1 was a Fox and the Hound watch.  It had Tod and Copper on the face and the background was reflective/silver.  Then I had a Goofy watch that ran backwards.  I loved those watches.

Obsession: Disney

I guess it's one of those things that started in childhood and never quite let up!