Here's what it looks like if I tie it:
Perhaps an around the neck/hide the hickey look? 
Tried to hide it but ended up looking like an inept bra-stuffer. 
So I'd like you to leave a comment with a suggestion of how you'd like me to attempt wearing this thing today. Covering my face, over my ears, whatever. And I will take a pic and share it. This is a chance for some creativity (and my own personal humiliation, of course).
A Facebook comment suggestion- they aren't decorative or fashionable, they serve a purpose. Built in hanky for preventing the spread of H1N1. Not for blowing or wiping, mind you. Only for catching the sneeze-spray. Thanks, Jen!
And since tying seems to be the favored actual option, I tried 2 more ways of tying... 
(OK- I actually kinda like that last one...)
Keep the suggestions coming! ***
At the suggestion of Hotel Tuesday- who knows about fashion as he is the host of the fabulous PRJNCT (Project Runway for Barbies- oodles of talent and buckets of laughs)- I present the power trend of the 80's and 90's, soon to hit some runway somewhere...
SHOULDER PADS!
We might be on to something here... the way these things are attached, the shoulder pads can be rolled up to easily tuck under the material while still allowing for some neckline adornment.
Hm. Actually looks like a weird growth or very misplaced boob or a tragically inept bra-stuffing.
Let's try a different way...
I like it! Still shows my "corporate power" but highlights my feminine side.
***
Next?
26 comments:
oh, that's a tough one. I think it's intended use was to tie it? Don't ask me - I have no fashion sense, as proven by my latest post.
I'd have to go with the 'hide the hickey' look ... Not because I think you have any to hide ... It just looks best in the picture! :0)
Look, it's clearly intended as an ear warmer - simply tie the ends together on the top of your head and Robert is your father's brother.
Oh, c'mon. It's to tie your jaw together for a toothache. Try it, snap a photo and lets see!
designHER, I'm not a big fan of intended use, it seems. I loved your t-shirt post. Took me back to the end of my pregnancies when I couldn't fit my belly into some of my maternity tops without exposing that belly... and had to go to a plus size shop and find some size 22 shirts on the clearance rack just to cover my belly.
Eternally Distracted, I agree! I don't know that I am "brave" enough to wear it that way but I like that look the best, too! It inspires me to find a way to wear one of those fashionable scarf thingees...
Mimbles and Garret- your pics are up! Enjoy! Not sure they will work for wearing around the office... hahaha!
My guess is that it's supposed to be tied (in front). That or the hickey hiding look are my faves. :)
LOL I like the toothache version, my suggestion looks extraordinarily uncomfortable!
I actually kind of like the hickey cover.
Please criss cross (will make you JUMP! JUMP) across your upper lady parts, as in "X marks the spot, baby!"
Kisses,
Jim
LOL! That is an interesting conundrum to come across..... I'd take a pair of scissors and amputate immediately. :)
Hmmm I'm not fashionista either, but I think the tied look is probably my favorite (the hickey look isn't bad, but I'm trying to imagine what it looks like in the back).
then again, I do think its ingenious to have a sweater that includes earwarmers though...
ROFLMAO! I love it. Go with the tooth ache look! It looks so natural. Trust me, everyone will think it's cool.
Thank you Jim for the challenge- I am impressed with myself because I figured out how to make that work with no leaning or using my hands or pins or glue or tape. Thank heavens I'm wearing a bra!
A suggestion from a Facebook friend:
"Maybe it's a built in H1N1 virus preventor/sneeze catcher. They recommend elbows, but this could work. Sneezes only. No blowing noses."
The "X" look is fabulous! It's rather super heroic...and sort of Victoria's Secrety...
New images added... keep those ideas comin!
Jim: Crazy how yours REALLY made me look busty... must be all those superhero images your brain is being inundated with...
I can tell you in all my fashionista glory (*smirks*) that it's supposed to be like your very first or second picture.
Although, the hickey way is my fave alternative suggestion ;)
I actually like it tied like a scarf! Looks cute.
But I say you try to put it inside the sweater as SHOULDER PADS. Shoulder pads are SO 2010!
Shoulder pads!! Coming right up!!
Another suggestion from Facebook friend Brian:
"Think of it as a new-fangled religious vestment: the pearls can be a sort of "Protestant Rosary" or something..."
You are crazy! LOL!!! That blouse is so very versatile!
Way funny!
I'm sure you're done wearing it by now, but it reminds me of this dress I just bought that has like a ruffle dohickey around the neck of it. The only way it looks just right is without it. But, it's attached so I can;t just rip it off and I'm not handy enough with a sewing machine to remove it and fix the dress for future wear. So, it sits all lonely and mostly cute in my closet with the tag still on it. Now I know why the thing only cost me $7!
Can you stretch them far enough to put your hair in a pony? This post made me laugh!
As much as I enjoyed the crisscross boob look, I'm shocked and amazed that no one has suggested what is clearly the proper use of these floppity appendages.
Obviously they must be draped over the ears and worn as elephant ears. It's a shame whoever owned the sweater before you didn't include the trunkpiece. I bet you got it cheap because it was missing that, huh?
Hysterical! I think I like the basic tie. Or the boobalicious one.
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