After a friend commented on timelines and what would have been happening in our lives 7 years ago, I went back and started reading my old message board that I had created when I became pregnant and wanted to be able to journal my thoughts and also share our milestones with family and friends.
Oh, what a trip down memory lane!
Oct 16, 2004 The first time I felt the baby move in my belly.
Nov 12, 2004 The big ultrasound- "It's a girl!"
Jan 3-6, 2005 My heart scare
March 16 Teagan's Birth Day
In July 2005, I wrote a letter to Teagan on that message board. In it, I made her some promises for her future. I think I've done a good job of keeping my promises (so far).
I will always remember... I will always remember learning I was pregnant again and knowing that this time it would be okay, I will always remember your birth and the grasp you had on my finger before they had to take you from me, that you are small and growing and that you aren't a grown up yet, I will always remember to kiss you and hug you and tell you that I love you before I have to leave you for the day or when I say goodnight.
I will never intentionally put you in harm's way, I will never turn my back on you or disown you or abandon you, I will never stop loving you.
I promise... to always accept you for who you are, to teach you to be as accepting of all other people and to find beauty in their differences, to love you unconditionally by every definition of the phrase, to bear in mind your well being with every decision I make, to protect you to the best of my ability, to make a home where you can feel safe and secure and loved and always know that you are welcome, to love your father and put in the effort and work required to make our marriage strong.
When you are 5, I promise... that I will help you through those first days of school ( and rely on my fellow Mommies to help me through it), that I will not burden you with adult problems, that I will continue to love you unconditionally, that I will let you pick your own clothes for the first day of school, that I will let you pick the theme for your birthday party, and that I will hug and kiss you goodbye and goodnight.
When you are 10, I promise... that I will not judge your friends but that I will gently guide you if I see you in trouble, that I will still love you unconditionally, that I will be able to let down my guard and be a fun mom, that we will have mom-and-daughter days, that I will not be jealous when you want Daddy time, that I will be understanding and patient as you became a teenager, that I will be honest with you about the changes happening to your body, and that I will still hug and kiss you goodbye and goodnight.
When you are 15, I promise... to try my best to trust your judgment when it comes to friends and dates, that I will also be honest with you if I see a situation where I think you may end up in danger or in trouble, that I will buy the pints of ice cream when your heart is broken, that I will hopefully have the relationship with you that I wanted with my mom, that you will be able to come to me to talk about anything- from sex, drugs, smoking, cutting, homosexuality, violence to the easier stuff like make up and homework and choosing a college and the latest episode of American Idol- and I won't freak out (at least, not in front of you), that I will love you unconditionally and that I will still hug and kiss you goodbye and goodnight.