Time

Our schedules have been pretty hectic lately.

There are weekends when we barely have time to sit and relax.  But it's ok because we have so much fun while we're running like crazy.  This past weekend was packed full of fun things.  I ran my 5K on Saturday and my husband and kids came out to cheer me on.  The kids participated in the kid fun runs after my 5K.  Then a quick trip home to do a whirlwind clean up.  Visit the Farmer's Market.  Grandma came to visit.  While the kids played with Grandma, Jeff did yardwork and I worked on laundry/bedroom clean up.  Saturday night, Jeff arranged a surprise date night for us.  His dad came to babysit (and ended up walking the kids up to the neighborhood festival where they were beyond thrilled to have cotton candy, ice cream, and lemon shake ups for dinner) and we went out for dinner and a movie.  Sunday morning was 2 church services with children's choir in between.  Home to try and rest a bit before heading out to participate in the town festival parade with our church.  Quick stop by the festival on the way home for a corndog and lemon shake up.  Home to crash into bed.

We were busy, we were exhausted, but we had an insane amount of fun.  There wasn't a lot of fighting or whining or whatever.  We had moments here and there but we were too busy to complain.  And everything we did was as a family.

Then there are times when crazy busy isn't such a good thing.  Work is on that track again.  My day starts and ends with meetings and is filled with meetings all day long.  The work load increases with each meeting but there is no time in the day to get work done.  Meetings overlap and I'm sometimes double booked.  Lunch hour is non-existent most days- I literally had 15 minutes between meetings recently to snarf down food while standing at the kitchenette counter outside the conference room. 

Time passes and my kids get bigger and older and smarter.  I love the ages we are in right now.  Zach, being 3, is loving and affectionate and curious about how the world works.  He adores his older sister and follows in her footsteps while also finding his own way.  Teagan, being 6, is smart and funny and eager to be responsible and grown up as much as possible but she still holds on to this creativity and silliness and curiousity. 

Time passes and my marriage changes.  Some days are tough.  Some days we are grumpy and cranky and have little terse conversations.  Some days, we rely completely on each other to just get through the day.  But the days go by and we have grown together and grown each other in the past decade. 

Time passes.  Can't stop it, can't slow it down, can't pause it like my DVR.  As time goes by, there are hurts and healings, joys and concerns, living and dying.

If I only focus on the time, I'm going to miss out on the living.