Therapy Thursday

Check it out and feel free to join in! Today's subject is "worry." What do you worry about? Do you take action on those worries? How do you manage the negativity of worry? Do you find that worrying can encourage you to accomplish things? What would you like to change about worrying? How do you intend to do so? What do I worry about? Money. I grew up in a home that struggled financially so being able to pay the bills, feed the kids, and still have some fun is important to me. I also don't want money to be a burden to my kids but I do want them to learn fiscal responsibility. My kids. I worry about too many thing to list when it comes to my kids. Health, how they are developing, how they interact with the world, their safety... My job. Even though I'd love to be a stay at home mom, if you refer back to that first worry, money comes from having a job. There are a lot of good things that come from my job- health insurance for me and the kids, a pay check, a retirement plan. Because of that paycheck, we are more financially secure in covering our expenses but are also able to save money for college and vacations and have memberships to the Museum or Zoo or other fun things. Do I take action on these worries? I try to recognize what is and what is not in my control. Things that I can do something about, I do to the best of my ability. I work to not let worry run my life. How do I manage the negativity of worry? This is part of where my faith comes into play. One of the beautiful things about my relationship with God is that when life gets overwhelming, when I find myself bogged down with worry, I can turn it over to Him. It doesn't make the problem go away. But it gives me hope that there is a better plan, a different path, that I hadn't considered before. Do I find that worry encourages me to accomplish things? Sometimes. I guess something negative like worry can be a driving force to get things done. But at the same time... how well am I going to do something if there is a negative base behind it? If I am accomplishing something out of love and goodness, it will come out better, right? What do I want to change about worrying and how do I intend to do so? I don't really feel like I let worry creep into too much control over my life or let it weigh me down too much. So my plan would be to keep doing what I'm doing... keep relying on my faith to see me through. Keep turning to my support system to help me see things more clearly. My bottom line is that I don't want to live my life burdened by a bunch of "what if's" that may never come to pass. Instead, I want to enjoy each moment as it comes. Be in the now. Be here. And that leads me to being the best me (wife, mom, friend, etc) that I can be. Your turn!

Therapy Thursday!

Today's subject: "If you really knew me, you would know..." If you, my readers, really knew me... you would know... - that I am a lazy parent on a day to day basis. I would prefer to spend my time sitting and napping and vegging out most days. I do the minimal amount of work necessary in my home because I just feel like I need to just sit for a while every day. I don't really get a lot of time to do the lazy thing, but I'm not a constantly active, constantly keeping my kids busy kind of parent. - that I cuss more than I should. Not so much in front of the kids. But definitely on the commute to and from work. And I get creative in my language pairings. - that my desk, at work, is a horrible mess. Mostly because I just don't put things away. I suppose I think that piles of paper make me appear busier? I work under a boss who is very focused on appearances so maybe that is where it comes from- gotta look busy so people think you are really valuable. For the first few years that I worked for this company, my workspace was always kept neat and tidy. Not any more. - that I really love television and I'm certain that most people would say that we, as a family, watch too much TV. Jeff and I have programs we enjoy and record and our down time each evening is watching TV together. Teagan has favorite shows and we use TV as a tool for downtime when the kids are wound up. I even have a small black and white TV on my desk at work, tucked into a little corner next to my computer... and that I will be lost once the digital age comes next month. - that I don't really shave my legs routinely. If I'm lucky, I will shave once a week. I shave my pits at every shower. But legs... I just don't care to take the time to do it. But I do like having freshly shaved legs. Go figure. - that I am truly content with my life and sometimes I feel guilty for it. Sometimes, I feel like I should hate my body or complain about my husband or kids or hate my job or want something different in my house or car... But I don't. Do I vent about my husband sometimes? Well sure! We are human, we annoy each other or have little fights. Do my kids irritate or frustrate or befuddle me? Absolutely! Does my body need improving? Yes! Could my house be bigger or cleaner? Sure. But I don't strive to change things that don't need to be changed. And I take control of the things that I can. I manage my way through frustration and annoyances and little fights as best I can. I like my house just fine the way it is and I look forward to the improvements we will make to it over the years. I am working on the healthy body thing by getting daily exercise. I accept life as it is and seek to make the best choices that I can. My life isn't perfect but I am content and happy. - that a big part of how I've gotten to this place is because I am a survivor of sexual abuse. The basics are that it started when I was 4 and it ended when I was 10. It got as bad as rape on a regular basis. It ended because we moved to a different city. I didn't confront it until the end of high school- I spent the 7 years in between severely acting out. I'm surprised my parents still let me in the house, honestly. I went through a lot of intense therapy at the end of high school and into college. Between the therapy, the love and support of my parents, and my faith... I came out better, stronger, and more whole. I know that the reason why I am content with my life as it is, with my self the way I am... is because I know how much worse life can be. I know how important it is to recognize the blessings, the good things, the haves. - that while I am dedicated to getting more physically fit, I am on day #3 of really not wanting to go to the gym. Baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaad. And my excuse is the same- I know that if I skip the gym, I'm still getting a workout at home on my Wii Fit. I've been doing 30 mins of cardio (step aerobics or a free run/walk) and also some yoga and strength training. - that I need to pee. - that while I really believe in attachment parenting and gentle discipline, I definitely struggle with it sometimes. I think I do better in my commitment when I am parenting alone, sometimes. But I wouldn't want Jeff to go away or anything- don't misunderstand. I just think I easily feed into his way of doing things. His mood really strongly impacts mine and if I perceive him as being cranky or down, I find myself stressed and yelling at the kids more. Having less patience, being less proactive. - that I've said plenty of stuff and none of it goes together! Feel free to hop over to the Therapy Thursday blog and leave your own therapy comment or a link to your own blog Therapy Thursday post. And feel free to comment on anything you've read here! I love comments!

Therapy Thursday: Stress

I started a new blog! http://therapythursday.blogspot.com/ Therapy Thursday. Might be kinda fun, kinda intense. Never know where it might take us. Go check it out! *** Stress. I really try to manage my stress in positive ways but sometimes it is just easier to "give in" to it and let it pull me down a bit for the day. And sometimes stress can really spur me forward and get things done. Work stress. I've had situations where I feared getting in trouble. I've had situations where an urgent big problem pops up and I am able to fix it but the time crunch makes it a challenge. I've had situations where I'm dealing with other countries and cultures and different work ethics and values. Most of the time, work stress drives me into a more productive mode. And I often find that the thing that most helps with any of my work stress situations is to clean my desk. Home stress. Fighting with my husband, kids being cranky, bills to pay, housework to do... Sometimes organization and cleaning helps. Sometimes reconnecting helps. Sometimes doing something out of the ordinary helps. Home stress is harder on me than work stress because I can leave work stress behind at the end of the day. Home stress stays with me, no matter what. And it takes additional work to relieve it... keeping connected to husband and children takes effort and energy and creativity and interest and compassion. Housework requires energy and interest and time. Bills... money! That can be the hardest one. Because you only have so much money. The bills are what they are and the checking account balance is what it is. Social stress. I don't have much of this because I don't have much of a social life these days! But there can be conflict between friends sometimes. Sometimes, my expectations seem too high for the people who call themselves my friends. So I sometimes wind up in a funk because someone has disappointed or hurt me... even though I should have seen it coming. Not only do I set my expectations high, I tend to be pretty gullible and fully believe that others stick to their commitments, even when they prove that they can't. Managing stress. When I feel the tension increasing, I try to prioritize, organize, take action. I also remember the Serenity Prayer. "God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can; and the wisdom to know the difference. " Figuring out what I do have control over and what I can do to take action... that's a huge part of stress management for me. I'm a problem solver by nature. So being able to DO something makes me feel better. I work on leaving the stress behind as much as I can. No sense in bringing work stress home if it isn't a stress that impacts the home. And sometimes, I indulge. A glass of wine, a bubble bath in dim lights (or with a good book), going to bed early... those are things that can help me relieve the effects of any stress I've encountered. Your turn!