Thursday, January 29, 2009

Therapy Thursday!

Today's subject: "If you really knew me, you would know..." If you, my readers, really knew me... you would know... - that I am a lazy parent on a day to day basis. I would prefer to spend my time sitting and napping and vegging out most days. I do the minimal amount of work necessary in my home because I just feel like I need to just sit for a while every day. I don't really get a lot of time to do the lazy thing, but I'm not a constantly active, constantly keeping my kids busy kind of parent. - that I cuss more than I should. Not so much in front of the kids. But definitely on the commute to and from work. And I get creative in my language pairings. - that my desk, at work, is a horrible mess. Mostly because I just don't put things away. I suppose I think that piles of paper make me appear busier? I work under a boss who is very focused on appearances so maybe that is where it comes from- gotta look busy so people think you are really valuable. For the first few years that I worked for this company, my workspace was always kept neat and tidy. Not any more. - that I really love television and I'm certain that most people would say that we, as a family, watch too much TV. Jeff and I have programs we enjoy and record and our down time each evening is watching TV together. Teagan has favorite shows and we use TV as a tool for downtime when the kids are wound up. I even have a small black and white TV on my desk at work, tucked into a little corner next to my computer... and that I will be lost once the digital age comes next month. - that I don't really shave my legs routinely. If I'm lucky, I will shave once a week. I shave my pits at every shower. But legs... I just don't care to take the time to do it. But I do like having freshly shaved legs. Go figure. - that I am truly content with my life and sometimes I feel guilty for it. Sometimes, I feel like I should hate my body or complain about my husband or kids or hate my job or want something different in my house or car... But I don't. Do I vent about my husband sometimes? Well sure! We are human, we annoy each other or have little fights. Do my kids irritate or frustrate or befuddle me? Absolutely! Does my body need improving? Yes! Could my house be bigger or cleaner? Sure. But I don't strive to change things that don't need to be changed. And I take control of the things that I can. I manage my way through frustration and annoyances and little fights as best I can. I like my house just fine the way it is and I look forward to the improvements we will make to it over the years. I am working on the healthy body thing by getting daily exercise. I accept life as it is and seek to make the best choices that I can. My life isn't perfect but I am content and happy. - that a big part of how I've gotten to this place is because I am a survivor of sexual abuse. The basics are that it started when I was 4 and it ended when I was 10. It got as bad as rape on a regular basis. It ended because we moved to a different city. I didn't confront it until the end of high school- I spent the 7 years in between severely acting out. I'm surprised my parents still let me in the house, honestly. I went through a lot of intense therapy at the end of high school and into college. Between the therapy, the love and support of my parents, and my faith... I came out better, stronger, and more whole. I know that the reason why I am content with my life as it is, with my self the way I am... is because I know how much worse life can be. I know how important it is to recognize the blessings, the good things, the haves. - that while I am dedicated to getting more physically fit, I am on day #3 of really not wanting to go to the gym. Baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaad. And my excuse is the same- I know that if I skip the gym, I'm still getting a workout at home on my Wii Fit. I've been doing 30 mins of cardio (step aerobics or a free run/walk) and also some yoga and strength training. - that I need to pee. - that while I really believe in attachment parenting and gentle discipline, I definitely struggle with it sometimes. I think I do better in my commitment when I am parenting alone, sometimes. But I wouldn't want Jeff to go away or anything- don't misunderstand. I just think I easily feed into his way of doing things. His mood really strongly impacts mine and if I perceive him as being cranky or down, I find myself stressed and yelling at the kids more. Having less patience, being less proactive. - that I've said plenty of stuff and none of it goes together! Feel free to hop over to the Therapy Thursday blog and leave your own therapy comment or a link to your own blog Therapy Thursday post. And feel free to comment on anything you've read here! I love comments!

7 comments:

Lisa said...

Another slice of Lizdom . . . I love getting to know you better :)

I can relate to so many of the things you wrote.

Jim and Garret said...

I'm laughing about the whole shaving bit. I hate shaving my face. When I don't work it's every other day. When I work, it's daily. My 5 o'clock shadow comes at noon.

Garret

Mary Ellen said...

I like learning things about you. You're a genuine, interesting person. And now I'm learning about how strong you are.

And I only shave my legs occasionally in the winter. Nobody sees them!

Heather said...

I only shave my legs, like, once a month. My mom thinks that's horrible since I live with Curt, but hey, -shrugs- does it really matter? ;)

I loved this; I learned so much about you. You give me hope-- That some day I'll come out bigger & better than where I'm at now.

Hugs

Mim said...

I hardly ever shave my legs. I did do it before we went on our camping holiday but only because I hate rubbing sunscreen onto hairy skin.

I swear too much too and the kids do hear it sometimes. I tell them not to swear because it's a lazy and uninteresting way to express yourself (it's a case of do as I say not as I do :P). I have them trained to use translations of the Chinese swearing in Firefly, our favourite is "Holy mother of god and all her whacky nephews!", they also use "gorram" from Firefly and "frak" from BSG.

I'm sure lazy parenting is an officially recognised and endorsed parenting style...isn't it? It seems to be working for me....

Flartus said...

You should know, the more I know about you, the more I like you! You're a crazy, sane woman with feet planted solidly on the ground and with a good view of the clouds. And for Earth's sake, don't get a bigger house. It's just more to clean!

Mrs4444 said...

We have a LOT in common, my friend.