I thought I would have a lot to say on this subject but I'm finding the right words are hard to come by.
Sometimes, feelings are easy to describe. And I can tell you that my feelings in regards to my husband include:
But to really make those words stand out is the challenge. I can't describe them well enough. And I'm not much into the cheesy "soul mate" stuff (and neither is he).
But let me tell you a story and you will hopefully see what I feel.
Growing up in a single parent home with financial struggles meant not very fancy Christmases. Not that the holiday needs to be fancy. But I don't have the memories of wanting something so desperately and being so thrilled when Santa or my mom came through with it. That just didn't, couldn't happen.
I had one magical Christmas in my childhood. It's a story I will share later this week.
But this isn't about my magical Christmas. It's about the lack of magic that I've had.
Jeff and I were watching TV, talking about holidays. He had bought me what I considered my gift on Friday (and I had bought his).
He had just surprised me at Target by placing a KitchenAid stand mixer in the cart... telling me it was another gift. I've wanted one for a long time but always made excuses to not ask for one.
So now I've got the expensive make up I wanted, the mixer I never dreamed I'd have.
Jeff is looking at artificial Christmas trees online. Finds a Charlie Brown tree and I tell him about the artificial tree my mom and I had.
It was plastic. Not the realistic type plastic trees that are made now and no metal stand or trunk. The entire thing was plastic. And it melted. So branches were always being lost because bits would melt into the lights. Couldn't leave the lights on for very long- bulbs all along the strand of lights had clumps of old melted plastic on them. And we had the big tacky flashing star at the top. Mom called it the "Eat at Joe's" star. It was a table top tree, not very big.
I describe it to Jeff and he says to me, "That's why I bought the mixer. Because you didn't have magic Christmases. And I want to give you magic at Christmas as much as I can."
Indescribable. Those feelings... no words.