Frustration and Nurturing

FRUSTRATION I'm scared. I'm a bit down in the dumps. I'm frustrated. I can't think about it too much or I might actually shed tears. I have a very minor owie / injury that is impacting my running. I'm a week out from my first ever 5K- the race that I kind of hinged all of these goals on. Tuesday evening, I noticed some pressure in my left knee when I went from sitting to standing. By Weds, it was definite pressure and tightness- especially if I squatted down or went from sit to stand or if I fully extend my leg out straight. It hasn't gotten better. It feels like it needs to pop but it won't. There is no intense, sharp pain, nothing feels torn or cracked. I went out to run Thursday evening and had to stop - only got in a mile for my complete workout - because it did hurt when I was running. It doesn't hurt to stand or jump or bear full weight on it. I talked to my trainers at the gym on Friday. IT Band I skipped boot camp on Friday. Lunges and squats are a bad idea right now. Instead, I warmed up for 5 minutes on the stationary bike. Then I spent 25 minutes or so with the foam roller, working that IT band and some other muscles in my thigh and areas around my knee, and doing some recommended stretches. Came back to the office and iced my knee and took ibuprofen. Picked up a wrap on my way home. My trainer said the issue is the IT band and the knee pain is caused by inflamation due to the IT band and some muscle below and to the outside of my knee and the degree to which you bend your leg and... a bunch of other stuff. I'm on a rest plan for the weekend- no working out until Monday. I'm not happy. In fact, I've been downright depressed since about Thursday evening. I've been so cautious about taking care of my body and listening to it and not pushing because the one thing I want to absolutely avoid is an injury that prevents me from running the 5K. 4 months ago, I had a body that I wasn't taking care of at all. I was 240 pounds. I exercised some and I walked a bit and I ate horrible crap. And I never had a single health problem- nothing with my joints, my muscles, my tendons. Now I've lost 34 pounds and I'm stronger and healthier than I've ever been. I have muscles and can do workouts that would have killed me 6 months ago. I can run- even if I'm not to my goal just yet. I have a body that I am taking care of and care about. And now I almost have an injury that could prevent me from running the 5K. I'm going to take it one day at a time. I'm going to ice and medicate and wrap over the weekend. I'm going to go easy on my workouts next week. I'm going to pray- a lot- for healing before Saturday. NURTURE Here's the best part of this story so far. The reality of this knee thing being more than it just needing to pop or something hit me on Thursday evening. I did bathtime with the kids while Jeff ran an errand. I had a hard time kneeling beside the tub to wash my kids, I had a hard time getting up from kneeling after washing my kids. I was down in the dumps by the time he got home. He had been outside, doing some yardwork and moving some stuff around. I asked if we could spend some time just cuddling or something after he got cleaned up. I also needed a shower from my (failed) run earlier in the evening so we each went to our separate bathrooms. I had just stepped in the shower when the door opened. I share a bathroom with the kids so my first thought was that one of them had woken up and needed to potty. But it was my husband. Don't worry- family friendly blog! He stepped in the shower with me and he took care of me. He washed my hair, my arms, my legs, my back- even my armpits and feet. He took great care in rinsing away the soap and shampoo. It was a wonderfully tender time with no pressure of expectations. He nurtured me in a basic caretaking way and it was exactly what I needed. From my frustration came an act of real caring and compassion from my husband. I still don't know what next week will hold with this knee / IT band problem. I'm trying to be hopeful that the icing and ibuprofen and rest and knee wrap take care of the inflammation that is causing the pressure and that the foam roller and stretching that I will do next week will take care of the IT band. Most of all, through frustration and nurturing, I learned an important lesson. I am doing a great job taking care of my body. I have to remember to also take care of my soul- or be open to leaning on the person willing to nurture me in the down times.