Saturday, June 19, 2010

Frustration and Nurturing

FRUSTRATION I'm scared. I'm a bit down in the dumps. I'm frustrated. I can't think about it too much or I might actually shed tears. I have a very minor owie / injury that is impacting my running. I'm a week out from my first ever 5K- the race that I kind of hinged all of these goals on. Tuesday evening, I noticed some pressure in my left knee when I went from sitting to standing. By Weds, it was definite pressure and tightness- especially if I squatted down or went from sit to stand or if I fully extend my leg out straight. It hasn't gotten better. It feels like it needs to pop but it won't. There is no intense, sharp pain, nothing feels torn or cracked. I went out to run Thursday evening and had to stop - only got in a mile for my complete workout - because it did hurt when I was running. It doesn't hurt to stand or jump or bear full weight on it. I talked to my trainers at the gym on Friday. IT Band I skipped boot camp on Friday. Lunges and squats are a bad idea right now. Instead, I warmed up for 5 minutes on the stationary bike. Then I spent 25 minutes or so with the foam roller, working that IT band and some other muscles in my thigh and areas around my knee, and doing some recommended stretches. Came back to the office and iced my knee and took ibuprofen. Picked up a wrap on my way home. My trainer said the issue is the IT band and the knee pain is caused by inflamation due to the IT band and some muscle below and to the outside of my knee and the degree to which you bend your leg and... a bunch of other stuff. I'm on a rest plan for the weekend- no working out until Monday. I'm not happy. In fact, I've been downright depressed since about Thursday evening. I've been so cautious about taking care of my body and listening to it and not pushing because the one thing I want to absolutely avoid is an injury that prevents me from running the 5K. 4 months ago, I had a body that I wasn't taking care of at all. I was 240 pounds. I exercised some and I walked a bit and I ate horrible crap. And I never had a single health problem- nothing with my joints, my muscles, my tendons. Now I've lost 34 pounds and I'm stronger and healthier than I've ever been. I have muscles and can do workouts that would have killed me 6 months ago. I can run- even if I'm not to my goal just yet. I have a body that I am taking care of and care about. And now I almost have an injury that could prevent me from running the 5K. I'm going to take it one day at a time. I'm going to ice and medicate and wrap over the weekend. I'm going to go easy on my workouts next week. I'm going to pray- a lot- for healing before Saturday. NURTURE Here's the best part of this story so far. The reality of this knee thing being more than it just needing to pop or something hit me on Thursday evening. I did bathtime with the kids while Jeff ran an errand. I had a hard time kneeling beside the tub to wash my kids, I had a hard time getting up from kneeling after washing my kids. I was down in the dumps by the time he got home. He had been outside, doing some yardwork and moving some stuff around. I asked if we could spend some time just cuddling or something after he got cleaned up. I also needed a shower from my (failed) run earlier in the evening so we each went to our separate bathrooms. I had just stepped in the shower when the door opened. I share a bathroom with the kids so my first thought was that one of them had woken up and needed to potty. But it was my husband. Don't worry- family friendly blog! He stepped in the shower with me and he took care of me. He washed my hair, my arms, my legs, my back- even my armpits and feet. He took great care in rinsing away the soap and shampoo. It was a wonderfully tender time with no pressure of expectations. He nurtured me in a basic caretaking way and it was exactly what I needed. From my frustration came an act of real caring and compassion from my husband. I still don't know what next week will hold with this knee / IT band problem. I'm trying to be hopeful that the icing and ibuprofen and rest and knee wrap take care of the inflammation that is causing the pressure and that the foam roller and stretching that I will do next week will take care of the IT band. Most of all, through frustration and nurturing, I learned an important lesson. I am doing a great job taking care of my body. I have to remember to also take care of my soul- or be open to leaning on the person willing to nurture me in the down times. Photobucket

13 comments:

Katherine said...

Hope that with a little more nurturing, that injury will be healed in time for your run.

Mellodee said...

Be careful and don't push. There will be many more 5K races, but you've only got one (well, two) knees. If you blow your knee because you pushed beyond the limit, that would be a lot more frustrating than missing a race! Hope its better soon!

Karen said...

At least you recognized it and didn't push yourself. That would only make things worse. Take it easy and you'll be back to 100% in no time!

Christine Holton said...

Have I told you how proud I am of you? Not that we've ever met or anything.....but I feel like we're friends. I've watched you grow and change in ways that remind me of myself in so many ways. You will run that 5k. I'm sure of it. And if your IT band isn't better (I hear IT Injuries are painful!) you will run a 5k soon. There's a divine time and place for everything. :-)

Eternally Distracted said...

Arghhh bless you. A friend was in a similar situation and she did the run anyway, let's hope you can too...

it soumnds like you have a real keeper in that man of yours too :)

Barnmaven said...

I had the same thing a couple of years ago, when I started riding again. I was afraid they were going to tell me to stop riding so I procrastinated going to the doctor - but when I finally did, he put me on Celebrex and within a week I was right as rain. I don't know if they still prescribe that stuff or not and I know its not good for long term use, but it sure did the trick for my knee.
You are doing such a great job, Liz. I am so impressed by your commitment to being healthy and your honesty about when its a struggle. I love reading your blog.

Mandi said...

First, let me say I'm so glad I finally clicked on your blog. I wish I had done it sooner.

You are doing a great job in listening to your body. I'm sure it will heal. If not for this 5k, for the next. If Indy's anything like Florida, there's one almost every weekend.

Give your husband a hug from me! He sounds like an awesome guy.

Garret of Jim and Garret said...

I'm sorry about the pain but happy about the 34 pounds and you having a great hubby. Think of what you've done so far! Amazing!

noexcuses said...

So sorry to hear of your knee. I'm not sure exactly what an IT is, but it sounds connected.

I am in awe of you and the fact that you won't give up. Rest a while, and slowly get back into it. Maybe you can still do the race, but walk it instead. Is that a possibility?

You are so inspiring, and you have a wonderful husband. Happy Father's Day Mr. Wonderful!

C. Beth said...

Oh, Liz, I am so sorry. I got my first foam roller because of my IT band (and the knee pain it was causing.) I was frustrated; I felt like it was my first big running roadblock. I got advice from someone I know who is a trainer (and an Ironman triathlete.) She told me I should be able to take care of this quickly, and showed me how to use a foam roller.

I used the foam roller EVERY DAY, all over my quads and IT band. It hurt INCREDIBLY bad the first few times. I'd run until it hurt; then I'd walk (or run/walk with some stretching) the rest of the workout. Of course I did my IT band stretches regularly too. I would use the foam roller before my runs too (and still sometimes do.) The foam roller really was the key for me, getting everything loosened up--I was very, very, very tight.

On January 30 I realized my IT band was causing my knee pain, and I started consistently using my foam roller on February 2. On February 4 my IT band hardly bothered me at all during my run

It took awhile before my IT band felt great (and it still sometimes bothers me) but it only really affected my ability to run for a few days! So I'm praying it's the same for you.

C. Beth said...

P.S. Flat surface running until IT band is much, much better. Of course, you can't control that for the race, but for your training...no hills. :)

Lety said...

I love this blog. I hate that you are hurting, but I love that your husband is there for you and knew what you needed w/o you so much as asking for it.

I also can very much relate to your feelings. When I injured my foot/ankle earlier this month I was pretty upset about my innability to do the basic things I needed to do. While my injury didn't take me away from training (because I'm not there yet) it did take me away from weeks of gardening and yard work, and pulling weeds just doesn't fulfill me much...but it was all I could do while sitting on my rump. I felt worthless, helpless, and lots of moments of self pity.

It sure made me appreciate my body more, and I've been walking very cautiously since I got off of those crutchs!

Sorry so long, I hope you're on the mend and back to good-as-new very soon!

The Girl Next Door Grows Up said...

It is scary when you realize your breakable so to speak. YOur husband is a peach. Take care of yourself!