Yesterday was a bad day.
It wasn't horrible. It wasn't like something terrible happened.
It was just a lot of little things piling up.
I started my period a few days earlier than expected.
Jeff had a headache hit, I was running a little late, but I took the kids to school because he really wasn't feeling well.
Got to work and realized I was the only "management" type in my department. Might sound good but that meant that my traveling bosses would call me for anything they needed. Also meant that anyone looking for someone in my department would be coming to me instead.
I'm out of the office all next week- some of that is vacation time, some of that is off site training time. But that means trying to tie up as many loose ends as possible and also figuring out what nights next week I will be working in the evening and also figuring out what work needs to get done this weekend.
Jeff's headache got worse and worse.
Full blown migraine. Only the second time in the 10 years I've known him that he's had one. First time was not long after we'd started dating. He had a key to my apartment (there was a specific reason but I forget why now- I think just because we were neighbors so I'd given him a spare as a "just in case" thing) and I came home from work and found him in my bed, migraine, and he'd gotten sick all over my bathroom. He apparently pukes into the toilet from a standing position. Which is very messy. And I cleaned it up without gagging or thinking he was gross. That was when I knew I had some serious feelings for him.
So now he's got migraine. We text a few times over the course of the morning and it isn't getting better. I can't go home and just be at home with him because there is no one else in the office. But I know he needs more medicine, fluids, food. I take my lunch hour (which ended up being 90 minutes) to get a prescription called in, pick it up, get it to him, force crackers and ginger ale down his throat, get him to take the pills, and rush back out the door after making sure he had plenty of crackers and fluids and a dark hand towel to cover his eyes and a couple of ice packs handy.
Back to work and my mood just continued to plummet. Work stress, work load stress. And thinking about Teagan and how her last day at her preschool/daycare is going. And wondering how Zach is handling it.
End of the day comes and I think it might be fun to take the kids to the State Fair for the evening. There is a balloon glow at dusk and I think it would be a great way to unwind and have some fun. But I get to thinking about what I need to do in terms of errands I'd planned on getting done... and I start thinking that if the kids are tired... well, it just wouldn't work.
Instead, I took the kids to the sno-cone place next to the school and then we sat on a curb by school and had sno-cones for dinner.
Should have been a great turn around point but things kept sinking from there. Teagan was now worried about Daddy and the Headache That Kept Him Home From Work and Needed Special Medicine. There wasn't going to be anything fun that happened in our evening. Her glumness added to my foul mood.
And then the errands started to take a sour turn. Little things just weren't right, weren't available, weren't going the way they were supposed to so I packed it up after running 1 of 3 errands and called it a night. Actually, I was at my boiling point waiting in line at Goodwill so I abandoned my cart and just left. I don't think I've ever done that before.
I took the kids to McDonald's. And I ordered a Big Mac and fries for me. I felt certain it would be horrible. Cold or not saucy or limp fries. Something would make the calorie consumption pointless and leave me just feeling guilty for the indulgence that wasn't even worth it.
But it was one of the best damn Big Macs I've ever had. And the fries were perfect. And I haven't felt a moment of guilt for it.
The day has ended well. The kids went to bed and to sleep without any fuss. I got a nice little bit of activity in with some Just Dance "sweat points." Jeff has been able to get out of bed, eat and drink and watch TV and talk to me. The headache is getting better and I'm betting the drugs will wipe it out completely by morning. I've had some lovely chats with friends via text. And I've been able to put my feet up and just... relax.
So there isn't some big silver lining or epiphany about my blessings or anything. I don't feel like there is some great lesson to gain from my story. I'm just trying to stay focused on the beauty of the small things- like a Big Mac and perfect fries and a few moments of relaxation- so that I can keep getting through the bad days.