I won't pretend that I think anything I have to say is truly important. And I won't pretend that I think the numbers matter - followers on Facebook or Twitter or Instagram. I don't measure success by number of clicks or anything like that.
Nothing personal against youse guys...
But ya'll aren't really the reason I write.
I write for me. I'm terribly selfish that way. Sometimes, I need to work through parenting stuff or faith based stuff or touchy-feely stuff. Sometimes I need my soapbox.
And if someone else happens to read it and they get something from it, I think that's fantastic!
But today, it suddenly hit me that if everyone on those lists of followers were to actually click on a blog post, I'd have a lot of people reading the things I write.
And that's a little intimidating.
It's funny, this whole blog thing. I think of it like a journal with the potential to reach someone who might share in the feeling or thought or experience. I've enjoyed the connections made from back when I first started on this journey - like Mim and Garret and C. Beth and Joanie and Hallie.
But when I tell people that I blog... I still feel... vulnerable? Exposed?
I put it out into the atmosphere to be read, to reach someone, and also to just help me sort out my thoughts. So sharing that with someone face to face feels kinda weird.
I have also become keenly aware of my audience. I know that my mom sometimes reads my blog. My brothers sometimes read my blog. I know that my husband reads. And people in my church. And some people I work with. And parents of my kids' classmates.
That's the part that sometimes causes me to pause. That makes this place less of a journal, less of a soapbox. Because sometimes knowing who is definitely going to click over and read means that I can't share about what I'm going through or thinking or experiencing.
It blows my mind sometimes when I start to tell someone my thoughts or opinions and they say... "oh yeah, I read that on your blog."
I don't write just FOR ya'll but I sure am aware of youse guys.
But I also have to say that exposing one's soul at any level... it requires being willing to grow. To stretch. To consider. To be ok with being wrong. And even ok with being right.
So... hello. Whether you've been reading for years or you just somehow wandered around the blogosphere and happened upon this post... feel free to say hello from time to time!