Tuesday, January 6, 2009

A Shout Out

I wanted to take a moment to point you to another blog. As long as you promise to come back here, of course. You read my post on friendship- I have high expectations and requirements! I don't recall how I found Adopting M.E. But I did and I am so hooked on her story. She was adopted as an infant and has fantastic adoptive parents. Her birth certificate was sealed until 2009 rung in and new legislation opened those records. Things are happening fast and furious for her now. Any adoption story tugs at my heart strings. I am half adopted. I know I've alluded to it before. My mom is my birth mother and my dad is "really" my step dad. They got married in August of 1984 and my dad adopted me in May of 1985. We celebrate my Adoption Day every year- it's a second birthday. Let me start by saying that I really missed having a dad when I was growing up. My father was absent. He and my mom got married, he was lousy and lazy. She tried to make it work for several years. She moved us from California to Kentucky (where her parents lived) and back again. But when I was 4, she'd had enough and we moved to Kentucky for good. We lived with my grandparents until they had to move (my grandfather was a pastor) and then we were on our own. My father was not part of my life. My mom tried. He ended up moving back to his family as well. So we were in Lexington and he was in Louisville. And my mom would drive us to see him and his family for holidays and such. I think she did that for a couple of years. He never reciprocated, never made an effort, never paid child support. So she stopped making the effort, too. And he never called to find out why we weren't visiting. So I now had an absent and uninvolved father. Around the time that I was 5 or 6, my mom met my dad. From what I remember of the story, she was working as a med tech at the Univ of KY and he was a med student. Soon, he was doing the med school thing and she entered dental school. Plus she's a single mom and her support system has moved away. Stressful time. Anyway, fast forward a few years and they get married and I get Adopted. I get the Daddy I had wanted. And he isn't perfect. No one is. But he has his moments and I love him dearly and I can't imagine ever being so insulting as to call him my "step-dad." Just as I would never call my brothers my "half-brothers." So adoption was something that had a huge positive impact on my life. I'll share the details of the day of my adoption when we get closer to my A Day (May 10). Fast forward to college and my first job. I was a social worker in therapeutic foster care. And adoption is a Big Deal in foster care. That permanence, security, those roots. It's one of the most fantastic and rare things to see happen. Adoption is something I fully support and promote and embrace. Another story for another day is the brief relationship I had with my birth father back in college. So go and read M.E.'s story. You can start here (just start at the bottom of the page) and work your way to today. The events are building and becoming more and more exciting. And she needs as much support and encouragement as she can get on this journey!

5 comments:

Chris said...

Thanks for the link and thanks for sharing your story!

Joanie said...

Thanks Liz, telling us your story and for guiding me to Mary Ellen's story. It's fascinating! I was able to read up to Dec 9 and now I have to go to work, damn it! Hopefully, I'll ge to finish it tonight. I sure hope she finds what's she's been searching for!

Lisa said...

Liz, thanks for sharing such an intimate part of your life. You have much in common with my oldest son, Kevin. His dad and I were married for 12 years, but when Kevin was 2 I filed for divorce (he was an alcoholic/drug addict/wife beater) and a couple weeks later he died of an OD. Michael and I got married when Kevin was 4, and although Kevin knows he used to have a different dad, Michael is really the only dad he knows, and Michael has loved him and treated him like his own flesh and blood from day 1. I think Kevin knows that technically M is his "step-dad" and his sibs are "half" sibs, but we never ever use that terminology.

Anyway, thank you for sharing.

Mary Ellen said...

Thanks for the shout-out. I just love the blogosphere. It's amazing how many warm and witty people live here. I also am constantly surprised at how many lives adoption has touched.

I love hearing about your story, and I'm looking forward to hearing more. You're lucky to have finally gotten a dad (I agree, he's not a step) but I bet he'd say he's the lucky one!

Ramon said...

The world of foster care examined through the eyes of very young kids has stayed unspoken until now. Invisible Kids (www.InvisibleKidsTheBook.com) adds these experiences to light, makes a compelling case for providing resources and support to this vulnerable population and inspires each of us to make a difference in the lives of foster kids.