The New Routine

I've been actively working on making some changes to how I am parenting my daughter. She needs to feel praised, responsible, in charge. So I've been trying to find ways to incorporate that into our routines. We've always had that down pretty well in the morning- she generally picks out her own clothes (she completely picked out her own outfit this morning) and breakfast with minimal prompting from us.

Red Elmo shirt, green and pink plaid skirt, grey and pink striped tights, sneakers.

Picked out and put on all by herself!!

Tuesday night, I kept her VERY included in dinner preparations. I've managed to cook dinner at home every night this week (yay me!) and Tuesday night, I asked Teagan to be my assistant and help me decide on our menu and help with cooking. She picked out BBQ sauce for the chicken, rice vs pasta, and the type of rice. She poured water into the pan, added the rice. She felt like she had an important role in the family's meal preparation. Last night, I changed up the bedtime routine, adding responsibility and reward. Generally speaking, we follow a routine and not the clock each evening. Get home, dinner, a little TV and playtime, bath, PJ's, books, bed. The kids generally get to bed around 7:15. Last night, I explained to Teagan that we were going to try something new. If she made good choices all evening, she would get to stay up later than Zach- because she is older and she is the big sister. Her bedtime will be 7:30- and it is her job to help us watch the clock. After Zach goes to bed, she gets to choose how to spend whatever time is leftover. The more she is helpful with the bath and bedtime routine with her brother, the more time she will have after he's in bed. Last night, she ate double helpings of everything at dinner (pork chops, peas, dirty rice). Definitely earned a dessert treat (pumpkin muffins) and she was excited for Zach to go to bed so she could have it. After she ate her muffin, Zach was still up and having books read to him and she asked to join in- totally fine, of course. So we sat and read 2 books together. I read one and she "read" one to Zach, also. Then she headed out to the living room for her time. After getting Zach down, it was 7:20. I let her know she had 10 minutes of her own time. A few minutes before 7:30, I pointed out that the clock said 7-2-8. I let her know that if there was anything she needed before bedtime, now was the time to do it. Get a drink, go potty, pick out a stuffed animal, have a book read, etc. She could choose to just keep coloring or she could take care of those other kinds of things (she opted to get a drink). And when the clock said 7-3-0... she went to bed. Daddy tucked her in and that was it. She went to bed and stayed in bed and never made another peep. So while I am still fighting myself and having to keep reminding myself and being very aware of ways that I can include her in the family caring, she is taking to these little changes so well!