Anyone else catch the alien invasion at my house yesterday?

Someone needs to alert the authorities. Roswell? I have no clue what branch of the Government can help with this information. Men in black, perhaps? It's not really a Ghostbusters type of call. But anyone who can help with things beyond the realm of understanding needs to be notified and brought in. I've discovered their secret. They don't do middle of the night, take you while you're sleeping, probe you in uncomfortable places anymore. Oh no. They are well beyond that. They are now doing social experiments. They are studying our reactions to stress. They are pushing us to see how much we can take, how far they can go. Here's how it happens. They swoop in looking all adorable and sweet. Smiling and laughing and having a great time in a chauffeured vehicle. You think of them lovingly and are enjoying your time with them. You don't see The Change. You can't feel it. It is completely undetectable. But it has to be there. It definitely happens. I believe it occurs when the 2 undercover aliens, disguised as your children, come in contact with each other. There must be a chemical reaction that happens in the air between them. They will pretend to be sweet towards one another to lull you into a false sense of joy and peace.

And within a split second, the aliens break down into mass hysteria. Tears, screaming, whining, sobbing, yelling. From happy and smiling and laughing to the most miserable person on our planet in .2 seconds. The screaming and whining will happen in your front yard, on your front porch, in your entryway, in your kitchen, and even in your living room. You will make every effort to contain the meltdown in your mass confusion over what has transpired. These little creatures looked exactly like my adorable, kind, and loving children mere moments before. But this hysteria... there was no snack, no TV show, no bribe that could contain it. It wasn't calmed by blankies or time alone in your room. It came out of nowhere and beat Jeff and I to an emotional bloody pulp.

This is how they will get us. This is how they will take over. They will appear in adorable and sweet form. They will then work their way into our brains through their shrill screams and shrieks and stomps. They will attempt to take control of our brains by demanding snacks and drinks and entertainment. They will refuse to eat what they are served and attempt to scream until given dessert. They will shriek and wail when sent to bed, vying for book reading, food, hugs, potty breaks, drinks of water, teeth brushing and anything else that might possibly delay the inevitable return to their home planet.

They are a sly and cunning lifeform. We have to be on our toes, alert, watching, prepared for anything they throw at us. It's going to get worse before it gets better. You may have seen signs in your own home. Pets aren't immune- cats and dogs vomiting up kibble and hairballs, birds shredding poop encrusted cage liners. Be warned! Be ready! They're heeee-eeere!