Wednesday, October 28, 2009

WWW: Who Are Your Soulmates?

Soulmate... From dictionary.com, a soulmate is "one of two persons compatible with each other in disposition, point of view, or sensitivity." Interestingly, if you go by that definition, Jeff is not my soulmate. Our dispositions are pretty different. Our POV's are often different. We have some similar sensitivities... but a lot that are different. I guess that's why love is a choice and marriage is hard work. I love him and choose to love him and be with him. We see a lot of things the same way and a lot of things vastly different. I can't imagine parenting and marriage with anyone but him. But I'm not certain "soulmate" is the right word for us. Is it possible to have a soulmate? Does it have to be a single person? Can you have different soulmates for different aspects of life? Food. Christy is definitely my food soulmate. We have very similar tastes. We both seek out new food experiences. See? Anything can be brought to a soulmate level. But that does take away from the implied meaning of the word. I know for sure that I have a parenting soulmate. I have lots of resources where I can turn for advice when I feel like I'm stuck or needing inspiration. I got through breastfeeding thanks, in large part, to the internet. But there is one person that I can always go to when I need to get back on track. Someone who parents in a style very similar to my own. Someone whose parenting philosophies align with mine. Someone who can help me see the parenting path that I want to be on and helps me find my way back to it. Lindsey. Everyday life. Relationships. Social workings. Life management. Personal philosophies. While this person and I don't match exactly on every topic, we do have a fantastic way of knowing what the other person means. Even when we disagree, we accept the other person's POV and know it is part of who they are. This is someone I am my very genuine self with 90% of the time. I can tell her anything and feel confident that she feels that she can share anything with me. I'll be honest- we can be very judgemental of others. But our judgements are the same. We have similar strengths when it comes to observing and problem solving. We have similar work ethics and talents. Christy. And, finally, my mom. In so many ways, my mom are very opposite. But when you have survived together, lived together, persevered together, struggled together the way she and I have... it's a very unique and connected relationship. I feel very blessed that I can say that my mom, in a sense, is one of my soulmates. There are others... too many to name. I guess, overall, I just tend to feel that anyone that I connect with on a level that is deeper than casual... that is somewhat indefinable... that brings me to a place where I question what I know... that helps me find my way again, helps me define who I am... those are all people that I would personally consider a soulmate. So what's the difference between a soulmate and a friend? Again, this is just my own personal definition. I think that there are all different levels of friendship. Some are more casual, some closer. But a soulmate is going to be someone who knows you so well that they know what you need before you do. And if that's the guideline... Lindsey, Christy, my mom... definitely fall into that category. A friend knows you and likes you. A soulmate knows everything about you and loves you anyway and the feeling and depth of feeling is mutual. And when you go by that guideline, Jeff definitely makes the top of the list. So tell me... who are your soulmates?

1 comment:

CaJoh said...

I love how you get all existential on us…

I like how you say that you can have a soulmate for every aspect of your life. I now need to look at my various aspects and see who fits the bill.

I've been working on a multiple post regarding various friendship types. I just hope I can get it finished (it's been in draft form for months). It may better explain how soulmates can be those friends who anticipate what you need before you know you need it.

Thank you for sharing,