Tuesday, December 15, 2009

Sometimes, The Hurt Is Too Close

Sometimes, the hurting that other people endure hits too close to home. Sometimes, the fears that I hold as a mother and wife and friend become so painfully real through someone else's story...

Yesterday, through This Is Reverb, I spent a good amount of time visiting Gavin Owens. And my heart broke and shattered in my chest. I was left in tears, my soul shredded. This beautiful family, the struggles and difficulties they have faced, and the raw pain... and even peace... they now have... it's indescribable. And while I am torn up inside... I am so deeply touched by their faith and the comfort they have found in God. Losing one of my babies...

And I think of Tim Graddy who lost Michele back in July to a swift battle with cancer. I think of her children- facing their first Christmas without their mommy.

I think of my friend, Anne. I had asked you for prayers for her last year. I think about her and her husband and her son as the approach the one year mark.

I think of my friend, Elizabeth, who lost her son this past August before even ever having a chance to meet him face to face.

I think of friends who have husbands facing cancer battles... of friends and family facing health issues... single moms, marriages falling apart, spouses off at war...

And I can either be totally overwhelmed by the pain and loss and suffering or I can...

What can I do? I can't solve the problems, I can't fix things, I can't take away the pain. I can organize and donate and collect until I'm blue in the face. But all that pain and suffering and loss is still there.

This won't make sense to some and will make perfect sense to others.

I pray.

9 comments:

Amy said...

I often wonder what people who don't believe in God do, how they cope. I understand how some can ask where is God in the midst of all these tragedies. But as a parent, I know that there are some things I can't stop from hurting my children. That's when my love for them surges even more. I believe that's the way it is with God.

Joanie M said...

Five years ago, I was one of those devastated people. It took a long time to come out of my funk, but little by little I did. And I did it with the help of a few good friends who did little things for me, like made me go out for dinner and a movie and talk me into going on a cruise. so you just keep on being there for your friends. hug them, hold their hand, be there for them. they'll appreciate it more than you know. Trust me on this.

Crazee Juls said...

Take comfort in knowing that your prayers comfort those who are going through these devastating times...

Garret of Jim and Garret said...

I went to the Gavin Owens site which was a mistake. I read the entry about feeling his heart stop and after 3.5 years they had to return him to God. I was nearly in tears and then the laundry timer sounded. Saved by the buzzer. I closed the webpage. I was too sad. No one should have to experience the pain those people did.

Garret of Jim and Garret said...

Oh, and dammit Liz, can't you just stick to parenting and not sad stuff?

Eternal Lizdom said...

Sorry, Garret... I warned you. The sad stuff can get overwhelming! And it isn't even MY pain or MY loss or MY grief. I want to know and honor those who survive and thrive hardships- I have much awe, respect, and so on. I'm humbled. It just hurts to even read about it- let alone live it.

But that's why I pray. Because what else can I do?

I walked away after reading that same post, Garret. I cried and walked away. And had to go back and read more from the last month, from the days leading up to his passing, the days after... and there is so much love in this family. There is so much to learn from them. So even though it is tragic and sad in so many indescribable ways... and even though it is hard to be in touch with that part of our hearts... I think it is important, too.

Tomorrow is "Role Models." Hopefully a much more light hearted topic. I'll try, anyway!

Karen said...

I understand what you mean. There's so much pain out there and anguish and suffering and things I don't understand. I wish I could fix it all, but instead I just have to have faith that there is a really good explanation for all of it.

Unknown Mami said...

I try to focus on the unbelievable perseverance and fortitude of people going through such difficult situations. I am always amazed that people can go on. I'm not sure that I am that strong.

Mrs4444 said...

Yes, it's heartbreaking, thinking of all of those suffering this holiday season (and many in the future). I've been actively keeping them in my prayers...