Monday, February 8, 2010

Dear Monday,

You guys get a bonus post!! It's your lucky day! Please don't miss out on my first post from today- CAT BAT BOX DOG. Things have gone a little whacky today and I felt the need to let it out... Dear Monday, You know, you really don't have to try so hard to fit the stereotype. In all honesty, it would do you good to break away from it a bit. Most Mondays, I actually enjoy getting back into the week's routine. But today... It started out ok at home. Normal stuff, even a little easy because my husband had done such a great job getting clothes clean and I had spent time on Sunday getting clothes folded and put away and areas of the house cleaned up. Get to work... nothing too bad to start the day with. Then I sneezed. And it's been downhill ever since. From time to time, I still have some... bladder control issues. They started with pregnancy- I would have to stop and cross and squeeze to sneeze- otherwise there was bound to be leakage. Pantiliners became my constant companion. Post-pregnancy #2, it didn't get completely better. It's mostly better but sometimes a big sneeze can catch me off guard and I just might have a little oopsie. And that's what I thought happened. But no. When I went to the restroom... it's that time of the month. And could I have just started with a little spot? Oh no. It had to be a BIG going through underwear and pants BANG. Thanks for that, Monday. Really. A little hemorrhaging is a fantastic way to start the day. So I have to go HOME to change into clean underwear and pants. 30 minute drive. I have to treat the clothing and get it into the wash. I have to drive 30 minutes back to work. There goes my lunch break. But that's ok. As I posted on Facebook, if this is the best you've got... and if a bad today means smooth sailing for tomorrow's procedure for Zach... I'm ok with it. But I got cocky and I challenged you, Monday. I realize that. I told you to "bring it" and you have, indeed, brought it. I almost got into a serious accident when exiting the highway. A woman decided to not just cut me off by getting into my lane... she decided to turn a hard right directly in front of me- I would have t-boned her. I cut a harder right into the right turn lane (thank God no one else was on the road right then), up and over a snow covered median (thank God for that snow or else the median would have torn up my car), pulled to the side of the road and sat still, shaking and cussing. She took off- I have no idea what the story was. Then, dear Monday, you thought it would be funny to put me directly behind the slowest moving semi-truck on the road. He never went over 10 miles per hour and I was behind him for at least half a mile with no escape. I get it. I do. I mocked you, Monday. I shouldn't have and I apologize. I've learned my lesson. So let's call a truce. I will continue to respect you for the great day of the week that you are and you can stop beating me up today, ok? Respectfully Yours, Liz

16 comments:

Lynn Freeman said...

Oh Liz...I'm SO GLAD you weren't hurt!!! And the whole through the pants thing - I've done that and had to hide my office chair because pre-surgery I had it covered too. Mother Nature is so, so cruel sometimes. I feel you on this one.

But, in true Liz form, you've managed to find the lighter side in all this and share with us. So...here's hoping for a proressively better Monday and a wonderful Tuesday for you and Zach.

~ Lori ~ said...

It's ironic isn't it...we go through the pregnancy and all that it does to our bodies, then we breastfeed for God-knows-how long, and then we end up with these little cuties, but now we pee our pants when we sneeze or cough or laugh too hard. What do the men get? I guess they get to put up with saggy boobs and a wife that pees herself on occasion! Misery loves company...sorry your Monday is crummy...here's to a better day from here on out. To Monday!

Garret of Jim and Garret said...

Was it wrong for me to laugh a little? What does one say to the staff/boss when you leave to go home? Is it still wrong for me to little a little more?

If I were a dinosaur, I'd be a wrongasaurus.

♥ Em{ily} ♥ said...

Thank God you're okay!!! I have learned not the challenge Monday...it has more power than any other day of the week. I think it has a First Born complex :D

Flartus said...

Ugh...I'm sending magic empathy waves your way. Glad you were ok after that near-wreck. That alone would have me ready to snap necks the rest of the day.

Well, it'll all be worth it if Zach's procedure goes well...right?

Eternal Lizdom said...

@Garret- NO! Please laugh!! I'm trying really hard to find it funny! I'm glad my boss is a woman. And is understanding in the important times. She even just stopped by my office to make sure I was ok- I filled her in on the almost accident and we "laughed" about it, too.

@Em Even worse... Monday knows it isn't the first born and hates being comapred to the first born- Sunday. Everyone loooves Sunday. Sunday is a day of rest. Sunday is the "golden child." Monday throws temper tantrums to try and get the attention it wants that Sunday is always getting...

KPCL Girl said...

Okay, it HAD to have made you feel better to write this. ;-) What makes your blog so great, Liz, is that so many of your readers can relate to all that happens with you. The 'peeing', being behind the slow truck...your wonderful humanness.

Entertaining, commiseratory (??) it was. It can only get better from here, right? <3

Nancy said...

Here's to a better Tuesday!

I didn't laugh at what you wrote(because I can totally relate), but Garret made me laugh out loud.

If you need anything tomorrow, call!

Karen said...

I can think of much better ways to spend a Monday...Mismatched shoes, shirt on inside out and backward, unexpected root canal...

I hope it gets better for you!

Nancy C said...

You've earned a "Get out of Monday" free pass of the next several weeks.

And, sadly, I am feeling you with the sneezes with bonus gifts!

Sigh.

Mellodee said...

I'm pretty sure that had the sneeze problem happened to me, I would have gone home to change and just stayed there! In fact, I probably would have quit the job and moved to a different town. How embarrasing. I hate how our bodies turn on us as life happens!

My leakage problem (different cause) didn't start up til I was older, and now I'm on a great medication that cures my problem completely as long as I take it every day! Its truly a miracle of medical science (Detrol).

Be careful in your car, some drivers are insane....seriously!! Stay safe!

And lastly, all good things coming your way for tomorrow!

Sarah said...

Yuck! Don't you just LOVE when Aunt Flo surprises you? She is such a joy!

I'm glad you are ok after the near miss car accident, how scary!

I will be thinking about you and your family tomorrow!

Sarah

CaraBee said...

You NEVER challenge Monday. Monday wins every time. Stupid Monday.

Mary said...

Time to put the feet up, have a glass of vino and big Monday take her snarky self to bed until next week. Hel-LOOOOOOO Tuesday! Which is bound to be better...right?

Mrs4444 said...

Sounds like it's all uphill from here then, huh? :) (or is the expression "down" hill from here. Oh well; you get my drift, right? :)

DysFUNctional Mom said...

You were brave to challenge Monday - but it put you in your place, didn't it?
I hope Tuesday is much better!