Wednesday, May 11, 2011

Catching Up and Falling Behind

I feel so disconnected these days.

I have no time to read blogs and I miss reading the stories you all share, the tidbits, the struggles, the successes, the joys. 

At work, I'm coming in early and still working through lunch several days each week and taking work home with me a few nights each week.  The crisis I'm in is getting better but still needs a lot of attention.

It's wearing me down. 

I have a checklist in my head of little milestones of stress relief coming up.  Finishing my first half marathon took a huge weight off my shoulders. 

I'm working on feeling more in control at work.  Once things settle down in the office, I'll have more time for the other things I need to do- like fold laundry and wash dishes and cook dinner.

I find myself just needing some fun.  I just need to watch my kids play, I just need to sit in the sun, I just need a moment to breathe.

So we went to the park.  It's been a great escape place lately.  The kids and I walked to a local park on Sunday.  The whole family went to the park on Saturday.  Last night, we picked the kids up, picked up sandwiches, and went to the park for a picnic and some play time.

My soul finds it soothing to be able to leave the list of chores at home behind... to shut off the pile of paper and e-mail and voice mail on my desk at work. 

I get to sit and enjoy some time with my family.  To watch my kids play.  To watch my husband play with them.  I close my eyes, briefly, just to listen to the sound of kids laughing and running, to hear and feel the wind, to lavish in the sun on my cheeks and scalp.

It would be easy to stay focused on everything I'm not getting done these days.  I could really make a great list of all the ways I'm failing and falling behind.  It might even be pages long by the time I got done.

But instead, I'm just going to focus on what is in front of me at this moment and do the best I can with it.

I'm going to continue to refresh myself by finding fun and simple moments with my family.

I'm going to keep catching up, and falling behind, until I'm back on top of things.  Or until I figure out the best way to manage the chaos more regularly.  I suppose it is possible that htis is my new way of being- this chaos.  And if that's the case, I've got some work to do to adjust to it.

For now, I'm focusing on the joy of the little things.  My morning cup of coffee with a special creamer.  My husband getting running clothes and doing his first couch to 5K workout and feeling good afterwards.  My kids holding hands.

What good little things are your focus these days?

1 comment:

Rachel @ The Lazy Christian said...

I'm trying to extra-enjoy my son and my husband. I feel like I've let them stress me out lately, so I'm really trying to be aware of how wonderful they both are. It really lifts my spirit and my day.