Thursday, November 13, 2008

Managing Meltdowns

Teagan had another meltdown this morning. Another of those out of the blue, nothing triggered it, leaves us bewildered kind of meltdowns. Jeff took the kids to daycare, with me right behind. Apparently, Teagan had a meltdown because she wanted to drive a different direction down the street. But we aren't here to discuss the cause of this meltdown. I got her out of Jeff's car and carried her into the house. She is screaming and blubbering the whole way there. Lisa catches my eye as I approach the door, assesses the situation in minutes. I walk in and take Teagan directly to a solitary spot in the playroom where she can sit. I get her coat off, her hat off. And I tell her that she can come in the living room once she is done having her fit. Lisa is waiting for me at the doorway- holds her arms out and hugs me. Boy, did I ever need that! We get Zach all settled. We chat with Lisa and fill her in on the evening and morning. I decide to go in and talk to Teagan again. I wish I could capture what was different. I know it was me. But somehow the anger was gone. I went to Teagan, squatted down and asked her to stand up so I could talk to her. She stood and I held her. She calmed down. We talked about still being able to have a great day, still being able to make good choices. It's just so hard to be 3, almost 4. Be a big sister. Be a daughter. Play and watch TV and eat and snack. Her body is changing every day. Her appetite changes every day. She hasn't been sleeping as well. So I have to discipline myself to walk away. To leave her to cry and scream and have her fit. And come back to her with love and softness. We'll see how it goes. Keep with me, gentle readers. Keep the support and internet love coming!

2 comments:

Alix said...

Yay Liz!!!! I knew the moment I saw your smiling thumbs up, that things today were improved. Sometimes it's the small adjustments that make the difference. You were perfection in motherhood today. Confidence comes in many forms... even when it means walking away from the occasional thrashing Medusa spawn in need of exorcisms. We all have our moments. I know this for I am the Queen of Moments. Celebrate your success and keep the happy icons coming. I'm proud of you.

Mommy2QTPies said...

Oh the fun of tantrums...the best thing I have found is to let them have the tantrum and once they settle down to try and calmly talk to them. Otherwise it will turn into a battle of wills if you are trying to talk during the tantrum itself! lol. Your daughter sounds very independent and spirited, just like my little guy! He is 5 now and there are still days he thinks throwing a tantrum will get him what he wants! Hang in there! This too will pass...one of these days! lol.