Earlier this year, I posted about realizing that I'd been a mushy carrot instead of a coffee bean.
Today, I realized that I have taken hold of being a coffee bean pretty well. Even as things have gotten harder and more and more Big Changes are happening at work, I've been having more good days than bad.
But it isn't every day. There are days when the announcements and changes still rock my world or leave me in the dumps. There are days when the overwhelming work load truly overwhelms me. There are days when I feel like I'm drowning or that I've given up fighting the undertow and am just sinking under the water.
And then there are days when I feel happy and strong and blessed. There are days when I know that I won't get all the work done, I won't please everyone, I'm going to make mistakes - but I can smile through it and let it roll. There will be comments made or emails sent with a hurtful tone but I can overlook the personal side of it and focus on the business aspects.
I start my day praying out loud in my car. I leave the radio off and spend time thinking about people in my life and lifting them up in prayer, stating specific prayer concerns, and also just being quiet and letting my heart be open.
It's the start of the brewing process for my day as a coffee bean.
I've been thinking a lot lately about attitude and mindset and where a person's heart is and all those things that really impact how we live each day.
I feel like I'm back to riding the waves - the ocean hasn't changed but I'm staying on my surfboard more steadily.
But how do I pull myself back onto the surfboard on days when a wave knocks me down?
How do I make sure I'm being a coffee bean on the days when the boiling water doesn't stop pouring?
There are lots of practical answers that I do practice- like stopping to pray, listening to uplifting music, being sure to take some sort of break. But that doesn't always work. And those are the days that I struggle with, those are the days I want to have answers on why I can't just make a better choice, get back on the surfboard, and ride the waves.
I'm mixing my metaphors. Now I have this image of me as a coffee bean, riding a surfboard. Which is weird.
The surf is getting choppy. The water is starting to boil. So what does a surfing coffee bean do about it?
Or maybe the waters are calm and it's time to sit on the shore and take in the view. The coffee has been made and it's time to sit back and take in the aroma.
Maybe mixed metaphors help with the imagery that leads to those better choices, leads to being able to choose my attitude, choose my responses, choose how my day goes.
Bottom line is that life (primarily in my job) has all the same struggles that it has had for the past year. In fact, there are more. But my attitude and my faith (and my metaphors) are getting me through it and I feel more like my normal self and less like the stressed out, frustrated, broken person that I had been.
Chillax, dudes. It's all good.