WW: Week... Um...

Well, I haven't officially logged my food in weeks.  I am mindful of my eating and my choices, though.

I haven't weighed in since March.  Need to amend that today.

I haven't been consistently working out but have been making my best efforts to be active on some level many times a week.  It's been a challenge.

But I'm not upset about it.

I also haven't turned to junk food.  I haven't been chowing down on chips or burgers.  I'm not always making the very best choice but I'm also not making the very crappy choices.

It's not lack of motivation that is keeping me from being active.  There are times when the schedule just gets insane.  There are times when plans are made to get that workout in and then life or work or carpenter bees destroy those plans (that was yesterday's plan ruin-er- carpenter bees had gotten into the house).

This journey isn't about losing a certain amount of weight or fitting into a certain size.  This journey isn't about completing a set goal.  There is no end point.  This is everyday life.  Sometimes, I will be really on track with food and fitness.  Sometimes with food.  Sometimes with fitness.  Sometimes there will be challenges to face.

People like to say it's a marathon, not a sprint.  I get that and have said it myself many times.  But I kind of disagree with it, too.  Because even a marathon takes time to achieve.  Even a marathon does eventually have a finish line.  Healthy living as a true lifestyle means- for life.  My only finish line is that really final one and I'm hoping the choices I make now help me live a strong and vibrant life until then.

My 3 months with Weight Watchers is about done.  And I think it did exactly what I was seeking- helped me get back on track, helped me regain my focus.

Week 7 and FitCity: Feeling It

I'm down another pound!

I have to give a lot of credit to my workouts.  One of the great things about the Weight Watchers program is that I earn points for my workouts- and I get more points for higher intensity workouts and longer workouts.  If I can hit the Y and do 30 minute son the bike or treadmill, do my strength training routine, and then take a group fitness class, I end up with a great amount of points that I can use on indulgences or I can just hold on to and take pride in my good choices.  Weight Watchers tracking will automatically deduct from my Activity Points if my daily points go over my daily allotment.

Something interesting over the past month, as I try out different group exercise classes and workouts, is that I am realizing just how much fitness I've lost in the past year.  When I backslid, I really backslid.  I gained weight and lost a lot of strength and endurance.  Check out my post about it over at FitCity and let me know if you've experienced something similar as you work towards healthier living.

*****

What is about making healthy choices that suddenly puts a glaring spotlight on just how unhealthy I’ve been?

I’ve been doing Weight Watchers for almost 2 months.  I joined the YMCA in addition to my other gym membership in an effort to have a workout facility available evenings and weekends and in order to encourage my husband to focus on fitness, too.  I’ve been making a serious effort to try new group classes and invest myself in what is offered to me with the Y and with Weight Watchers.

I’ve lost 14 pounds.  I’ve been working out consistently.  I’ve tried Zumba, Strength & Endurance, Interval Training, and Water Aerobics.  I’ve been slowly working my way back into running but my passion isn’t back just yet.   I have a strength training program.  I am on my way to healthier living.

So why does making these healthy choices lead me to realize how fat I am?  How unfit I am?  How much I struggle?

Truth is… it’s easier to be fat and lazy.  It is easier for me to choose to eat food-like products and sit on my couch and tell my kids what to do and what to play and watch TV than to focus on eating real food and plan my day to include time for exercise and focus on getting the entire family up and active.

The first group exercise class I tried at the Y was Water Aerobics.  It was a 90 minute “Super Session” and I have to say that I enjoyed the workout.  It is definitely easier on the joints and ligaments and such as I didn’t have that post-workout pain that can happen from certain muscle use.  This was my first ever group in a pool experience and I was definitely nervous about it when I walked into the locker room.  I found 2 friendly faces in bathing suits and asked if I could tag along.  It broke the barrier for me- from there, I was ready to try a new class.  I felt like I had taken a risk and discovered that maybe I wasn’t so bad off in terms of fitness.

The next week, I ended up in FitCity’s own Taylor’s Strength & Endurance class.  Um…. she whooped my backside.  Well, really she shredded my thighs.  I think we did about 1 million different squats and lunges.  Then there was the weight work that killed my arms and shoulders.  It was a great workout in terms of really working all the muscle groups.  But I had a very emotional moment in that class.  We started doing a series of push ups and I could barely do 2 or 3 and that was doing them “girlie style.”  A year ago, I was working my way toward being able to do 100 push ups and I was up into double digits and here I could barely do 1.  I almost broke down, I almost quit.

This is where I should say uplifting and encouraging things about how I kept going and stayed strong.  But that isn’t where my head went next.  I felt like a failure, I felt damaged, and I felt like I had really let my body go downhill.  I felt like it was completely unfair that I knew how it felt to be fit because I’d been there just a short time ago and so now I have this real gauge of just how unfit I’d become.

From there, I struggled with my clothes, my belly, my food choices for a few days.  How can it be that I was working so hard to get healthier but I was suddenly very painfully aware of how bad I’d let myself go?  I’m one who really focuses on loving myself- this self-pity was an old demon that I didn’t want back in my life.

So I wallowed in it for a few days. Partially not by choice since Taylor’s workout left me incapable of walking for 4 days.  But I allowed myself to have my pity party while my head sorted some stuff out.  And when I came out the other side, that’s when I was ready to start up with the encouraging words and thoughts.  That’s when I realized that this isn’t about the past (can’t change it and can’t go back to it). This is about the choices I make each day in how I will care for my body with the food I eat, the schedule I keep, and the activity I choose. 

I am not as fit as I was 1 year ago.  And a year ago, even though I was making great progress, I wasn’t as healthy as I’d been as a teenager.  I’ll never be as anything as I was in the past- my focus is on today and the goals I have set for tomorrow.  Yes, I backslid over the past year.  I gained some of the weight back and I lost a lot of levels of fitness.  But if all I do is focus on being fat, all I will ever be is fat.  If all I do is focus on what my body can’t do, I wont ever get my body to do those new things or reach the next level.

WW: Week 6

13 pounds lost.

Not too bad in 6 weeks.  I tend to drop, then hold. Drop, then hold.

I'm finding that exercise is a really key piece of the puzzle.  I'm also finding that the group classes I take at the Y about once a week are really important in terms of challenging me and showing me where I am in my fitness quest.  They can really kick my hiney!!

Food is still a challenge and I often think it always will be.  It's easier to give in to the sweet and salty treats.  I find good alternatives and I also manage to budget for some of those treats- but I also have my days where I throw my hand sup and choose to eat what I want (like on Teagan's birthday).  What I've noticed is that I am still aware of my choices and, especially since last week's burrito incident, I am finding it easier to be satisfied by smaller amounts.  So I can fill up on healthy stuff from the salad bar and then have a small piece of pizza or a breadstick and not go into Automatic Overeat Mode.

One thing I really like about the Weight Watchers system is that I can look ahead at my day and make a choice that feels more informed.  Do I want my breakfast to be 3 points (oatmeal) or 6 (McD's egg n cheese muffin)?  6 is fine- but that means I should be doing less points at lunch or dinner, perhaps.  It's like a little math game I get to play out in my head.

Next week, I'm blogging over at Fit City and plan to share some thoughts and reflections on these new workouts I've been trying at the Y.  It's been an interesting month.

How are your healthy living goals going for you?

WW: Week 5

This is going to be a grumbly, complainy, mad post.

I have really struggled the past several days.

I take that back.  No struggle- I've just been making crappy choices whenever I feel like it.  I've made minimal effort and haven't really thought about my choices.  So no struggle- just bad choices.

I'm hoping that this morning was my turning point.  I don't know why but I decided to swing through the Hardee's drive thru- just to get a Diet Dr. Pepper.  It was truly my intent.  But then I found myself staring at the "fully loaded burrito."  It's bad because of the big tortilla, the large amount of cheese, and the 3 different kinds of processed crap, er, meat.  BAD.  There is NOTHING about this menu item that is a good choice.  There is nothing on the menu at Hardee's EVER that is a healthy choice.  EVER.

But I ordered it.  And I ate it.  I got halfway through and thought "If I throw it out the window now, it will be a half serving instead of a full serving."  But I kept eating- figured I could take it to 3/4 of a serving.  Then I ate every bite.  I felt gross almost right away when my head cleared and I realized what I'd done.  Part of me started to imagine pulling over and making myself throw it back up.  But I can't make myself throw up- the idea makes my skin crawl.

I came to work and forced myself to plug in the info on Weight Watchers.

20 points.  I get 34 points a day and I just consumed more than I have normally consumed by 4 pm within the first hour of my day.

I don't know if I want to cry or curl up in a ball or what.  This sucks.  I'm not one to wallow in regret but I sure am today.  I feel like I need to be on a liquid diet the rest of the day.

So... silver lining... this will definitely inspire me to get to the gym today at lunch.  I am going to the YMCA this evening to learn the strength training equipment so there is another opportunity to burn some of this bad choice off my body.

This is also the most honest and open I've been about my eating habit.  It feels weird to be so honest- to confess.  Maybe part of food's power is the shame associated with our choices?

Last week, I didn't get to the gym as often as I wanted to and my diet was mediocre.  Weigh in is later today and I'm guessing I will regret it- I'm betting on at least a 2 lb gain this week.  Check back in this afternoon...

I lied. Check back tomorrow. Went to the gym, did 2 miles in intervals (yay! I ran!), and completely forgot about the scale.  


3/13 Update:  Well, color me shocked!  I lost my bet.  Not a 2 pound gain at all.  In fact, it's a 2 lb loss!  Say what??  My eating habits Fri-Sun were pretty crappy and then there was this whole burrito incident.  But somehow, I'm still doing better than I was before!  And I worked off that burrito yesterday- did my 2 miles running intervals at the gym at lunch, walked 30 miles on a slight incline at the Y in the evening, and then did a strength circuit at the Y.  I feel great today!

WW: Week 4

So much has happened in the past week in regards to fitness and healthy living and Weight Watchers.

First and foremost, my weight maintained.  No loss, no gain.  OK by me.  Especially considering how the week went.

1. My period started about 1 week earlier than expected.  Never ever ever Never ever EVER weigh in when the cycle is present.  Automatic gain of 5 pounds if you do.  This one was brutal in that my desire to eat was insane.  And I gave in to that desire more than I care to admit.

2.  Budget crunch last week.  Money was tight so when I ran out of my fresh fruits and veggies and my standard "keep at my desk" foods, I was stuck.  And my emotional response to any kind of feeling stuck in regards to food is to cram whatever food I find into my face.  When there are gingerbread marshmallows lying around, that's a very dangerous combination.

3. The start of that stupid womanly cycle also meant a few less days of exercise.  Just trust me on that one.

4. By the end of the week, I had 2 days that really focused on activity and exercise.  It didn't make up for the entire week behind me but it was a good start to springboard from for the week ahead.

On Saturday, I had my initial Wellness Coach appointment at the YMCA.  I met with Diane for an hour.  We talked about my healthy living history, we talked about my goals, we talked about a lot of things.  Through a string of circumstances and moments, I got to meet Samantha and figured out that Diane and I had been in the same Virtual Running Club until I cleaned myself out of almost all my Facebook groups recently (I have since rejoined the VRC since I do plan to start running again).  It was a good visit that helped me figure out where I am and where I want to be in 6 months.  I see Diane again in 2 weeks and will be given a run down on using the FitLinx system for strength training.

On Sunday, I opted to try a new group class.  Last weekend, it was water aerobics.  This weekend, "Interval Training."  I had no clue what I was in for but I am challenging myself to try new things this month so I sucked up my nerves and went.

It about killed me.

About 40 minutes into it, after I'd already had to stand still for several of the exercises because my body just refused to move, we went into push ups using the step to create an incline.  I had to modify my push ups.  OK, not that big of a deal.  I know I'm not in the shape I was in a year ago.  But then I was struggling to even complete the push ups or keep going with them.  And I almost had a total break down in the middle of this crowded classroom.  I truly had to fight back tears of frustration.

I quickly got past my pity party and realized that if I stick with my healthy eating, continue to drop the weight, and keep going back to this very class, I will be a lot stronger and healthier and will see vast improvement in my ability by the end of this month.  So that's my bonus challenge.  I'm going to keep trying new things (I will be writing about that experience on FitCity at the end of March) but I also want to use this interval training class as a marker of where I started and where I can get to when I work at it.

How was your healthy week?

WW: Week 3

The biggest change this week is that our family joined the YMCA.

Our local Y is very close to our house.  Our kids have done some programs through the Y- soccer, basketball, gymnastics.  But we've never become members.  It's expensive.  I already belong to a gym, we don't have the time to take advantage of it enough to justify the expense.  Then we started planning for summer camps and discovered that the cost would be notably less if we were members.  The savings was good enough that it more than covers the cost of the monthly membership.  So we went ahead and signed up. 

An unexpected benefit to joining the Y is that they offer a "Coach Approach" as part of your membership.  Jeff and I have already scheduled our initial appointments.  Notice that?  Jeff and I.  Each of us.  He's going to start being more active, too.  The Coach Approach is a 6 month process where you meet monthly with a Wellness Coach and you can even have a meeting with a nutritionist.  I'm eager to figure out a 6 month plan and goal and even more excited to have my husband involved, too.

Using the Y will primarily happen on evenings and weekends.  The kids loved the childcare facility.  I'm adding group fitness classes to my calendar so that if I have the time and energy, I can slip out for a workout.  My hope is that we stay motivated and become a more active family.

I'm planning to write a blog this week for FitCity about new workouts that I try at the Y- the first new thing I did was water aerobics.  I did a 90 minute session on Saturday and I really enjoyed it.

Food wise this week was a struggle but also a learning opportunity.  I had a hard day and turned to food to soothe my feelings.  The good part was that I ended up making decent choices.  The behavior wasn't the best.  But because I keep a bountiful supply of healthy choices at work, the foods I chose ended up not blowing my points for the day.  What did I choose?  Baked lentil chips and madras lentils (kind of like a chili dip but no meat).  I wanted Penn Station or junk from the vending machine.  But I went with the healthy choices in my office and even though I overate and my eating was an emotional response, tracking my points meant that I quickly saw that I hadn't ruined my entire day.

See, in the past, if I caved and went for the junk and crap, I would have figured the entire day was blown and I would have continued to make bad choices.  But because I tracked, I saw that I hadn't ruined the day.  I saw that the day still had potential.  And I still stayed within my points.

So how did weigh in go?

Week 1- I lost 8 lb.  Week 2- held steady.  Week 3- I'm down 2 more pounds for a total of 10 lb lost!

Goals for this week-

1. My biggest challenge this week will be staying on track while dealing with my period.  It's back, sooner than expected, and it's kicking my hormonal booty.

2. Water.  I need to ditch diet soda and stick to water.  I'm about 85% good on my water consumption but I don't do so well on the weekends.

How was your healthy week?

WW: Week 2

No loss, no gain.  Held steady.

Can't decide if I'm disappointed or if I'm seeing where I need to make adjustments.

It wasn't a perfect week.  And I think my biggest mistakes made were Sunday- and being the day before weigh in wasn't a good thing, either.

I'd had a big old allergy attack on Sunday and took a pill that made me drowsy but I was home alone with the kids so I couldn't pass out and sleep it off and I think making myself stay awake through that proved to be a baaaaad thing for my eating choices in the evening.

Food wise, I'm really doing fine (except for last night).

I have to up my activity level.  My workouts at the gym during the week need to involve more sweat and more muscle exertion.  I have to find time for activity at least once over the weekend.

I tried to take the kids and dogs for a walk on Saturday.  It was chilly but the sun was shining and the kids had energy to burn and I needed to move.  Got to the corner and the kids were fighting and complaining and demanding and I couldn't take it so we went back home.  With Jeff out of town, finding time and energy to workout was difficult and I chose to make it impossible.

My focus for the 7 days ahead of me is to make my workouts a priority and to make my activity count more.  I'm going to weigh in again this coming Thursday as a check in.

I also want to share my favorite recipes from last week.

Breakfast cups (2 points per cup)

I know others have done this.  I didn't follow a recipe- just went with what sounded good.  I entered the recipe into the Recipe Builder on the Weight Watchers website and was delighted that each Breakfast Cup is just 2 points!

A dozen eggs
3 wedges of Laughing Cow (I used light creamy swiss but plan to try it with other flavors like the Fresco and Chipotle)
5 fully cooked turkey sausage links (Jimmy Dean's)

Get out a muffin tin and preheat the oven to 350.  Cooking spray in each cup of the muffin tin.  Crack an egg into each cup of the muffin tin.  Take the 3 wedges of Laughing Cow and cut into 12 chunks.  Add a chunk to each cup and push it into the egg.  Take the 5 sausage links, slice in half long ways and then slice into chunks.  I placed 6 chunks into each cup.  I baked for about 25 minutes and the yolks came out thoroughly cooked through (like a hard boiled egg).  Then I let them cool on the stove in the tin for a few minutes, then transferred to a plate to continue cooling, and then stored in ziploc bags in the fridge.

Asparagus Sauté Rollup (7 points for 1 rollup)

1 Flatout flatbread multigrain with flax
2 TB Classico Vodka sauce
Asparagus sauté mix from Trader Joe's (or just chop up some asparagus, mushrooms and red onion)
real cheese- I used Trader Joe's Parmesan-Asiago blend with the cheese in big pieces.
baby spinach leaves (fresh)

Lay the flatbread on a foil covered cookie sheeet.  Spread the 2-3 TB of sauce.  *A note on sauce- I considered using a few TB of Alfredo because the points would have been about the same.  However, I was already using the vodka sauce on the kids' pizzas so I stuck with it.  Cashier at Trader Joe's- who inspired this meal- also suggested using Trader Joe's yogurt-kale dip as a pizza sauce.*

Sauté the asparagus, onion and mushroom in about a teaspoon or so of olive oil.  Place your fave parts of the veggies on the flatbread (save the rest for another day).  Place a layer of baby spinach leaves (still raw) over the veggies.  Top with cheese.  Bake on 350 until cheese is melted.  I then transferred to a plate and discovered the weight of my veggies made it impossible to eat as a pizza so I rolled up the flatbread instead.  The melty cheese held it together.

Goals for this week:

1. Focus on WHY I choose to eat.  If I'm not hungry, why eat?  I stayed within my points on Saturday and I made healthy choices but I still know I ate myself to the point of being stuffed with each meal.

2. Make my workouts count.  Might be time to break out the Couch to 5K program again.  Even when it felt like a crappy run, I was still getting a great workout for the day.  I know a big part of my weight loss 2 years ago was because I started running.

WW: Week 1

I am debating how honest I want to be in a very public way... do I post my starting weight?  Or just the pound movement?  Have to think on that a bit.

Monday through Thursday were great days.  I found that making good choices with food and activity meant being able to be a little loose when needed- like grabbing Taco Bell (where I could still make decent choices thanks to the Fresco menu) on a busy evening or while out running errands.

I was traveling Friday and meeting friends for dinner.  Fast food on the drive and Indian food over-consumption used up my bonus points.  Saturday was a big family dinner but it was a healthy dinner and I easily filled up on a variety of veggies.  That allowed me to go for pie... of the mom's homemade chocolate cream variety.  And I still stayed under my points on Saturday.

What I learned was that using points for bonuses is sometimes important and necessary but also that big meals, even when under points, isn't a good way to go.  When I was on track Monday through Thursday, I felt good.  I was satisfied with my food, full from my meals, and enjoyed fruit as snacks.  I made it to the gym each of those days.  My Friday regret was fast food.  Whopper Jr no cheese was no big deal but more points than I would have gone for if I had been paying attention.  Giving in to some fries was more of an emotional choice and not worth the points.  The dinner with friends was worth every bite simply because I enjoy Indian food but don't get to have it often.

The big meal on Saturday was under points but I overate.  Yes, I overate healthy food.  But I was stuffed and I over-indulged.  This was a family gathering and my family had gone to a lot of trouble to prepare the feast.  Emotionally, I would do it again.  My tummy might not agree, though.  The good news is that I didn't go on to eat another meal later in the day.

The weekend was more of a challenge and I did expect that.  Weekends have a lot less routine to them and the easy part of the early part of the week was fitting my healthy food choices into my routine. 

I have a favorite dinner.

Depending on how hungry I am and I do have some variations on this but basically:

1/2 c to 1 c of chicken (I use rotiserrie, no skin of course)
1/2 c of salsa (I use Wholly Salsa snack packs)
2 tb sour cream

I might have it with a serving of cilantro lime rice or maybe with baked lentil chips or maybe in a tortilla.  But it's easy and tasty and I love it.  It's a meal that's generally around 7-9 points depending on how it all comes together.

I've been sticking to cardio at the gym for the time being.  30 minutes on the treadmill- sometimes just walking, sometimes walking and jogging.  Or a circuit of 10 mins on treadmill, 10 mins on elliptical, 10 mins on bike.  I plan to stick with my cardio focus this coming week as well.  Once more weight is off, I'll focus more on adding in strength training.

1 week down...

Weight check: 

8 POUNDS GONE!

How about you?  Share a comment with your update.  If we have enough people who start participating in Monday check-ins, this could become a MrLinky thing!

Crap Or Get Off The Pot

Well, crap.

One year ago, I was in really good shape.  I was running, I was starting to train for my first half marathon, I was eating for fuel.  I felt healthy and strong.

In a couple of months, my life would get an overhaul when new responsibilities were added to my plate at work.  It was a major increase in work load and work stress.  And it turned my healthy living upside down.  No more time for lunch- so no more lunch hour trips to the gym or to go for a run.  I would forget to eat a lot of days and would end up ordering food in or grabbing something from the vending machine.  My stress eating came back full force- junk to soothe the stress, night time munching to alleviate my guilt.

I tried to get back on track several times.  And then work would throw me another doozy of a situation and I would easily fall back into working through my lunch break and not going to the gym and relying on stress eating for comfort.

I realized recently that I can't do this alone.  For the first time, I was going to need serious help to get this done.

I attended an informational meeting at work about my company's intentions for Healthy Living opportunities in the coming year.  And I knew I needed to make some changes.

It's time to do something.  Or quit altogether.  I feel like I've done enough quitting over the past months.  I'm tired of the day ending and me realizing that I've skipped any activity, that I've consumed junk, and that I've calmed my stress with food.

It's time to crap.  More than that, it's time to give a crap again.

I am taking a step I've never taken before.  I have to say that it really scared me.  It was the biggest recognition of my fat status...

I joined Weight Watchers.

I'm going to do the online program for 3 months.  My intention is that this will get me back into a routine, even with the not-so-new-anymore changes in my life.

I've already got some great support from friends.  I have friends who have done WW before and are doing it again.  I've got friends who have support groups on Facebook that they have invited me to be part of.

I'm enjoying the refresher in the ease of preparing veggies as a quick snack.  Last night, I made cauliflower poppers as a TV watching snack.

Source: weightwatchers.com via Liz on Pinterest

It's another step on the journey.  Another step towards setting a healthy example for my family, towards feeling strong and healthy, towards wanting to set a fitness goal.

In the back of my mind, I keep thinking that the first 5K I ever ran is one that I want to run again this year.  And I'd love to run it better than the first time and better than the second time.

It's time to crap or get off the pot.  I'm not done trying.  I'm not giving up.  Turns out, I'm ready to crap.

Edited to add:  I'm going to dedicate Mondays to my healthy living update.  Monday is the day I weigh in for Weight Watchers.  I have friends dedicating themselves to healthy living- some through WW, some on their own.  I'd love it if we can check in together each Monday and share successes, challenges, and so on as we feel comfortable.  We're all going to crap together!  Wait, that sounds wrong...