Some parenting wisdom that I've heard over the years is that when you let your child do a task, let them do it and then be done. If you come along behind them and "fix it," they will see that as their way not being good enough. It's an undermining type of move.
Sometimes life hands you a wonderful example of those bits of wisdom.
Teagan rarely lets me brush her hair. She's not girly about hair at all. She wants to brush it, pull it into a ponytail and be done. She likes growing her hair longer because of the convenience of that ponytail. On rare occassions, she will let me blow it dry, style it, or maybe use a curling iron or something.
One morning this week, she asked if she could brush my hair for me.
I couldn't say no. And I enjoyed her hands working through my hair, the brush finding the tangles and pulling through. It was a sweet moment.
And then she asked if she could do my hair for me.
I had to go to work that day. It's not like we were just hanging around the house. I had no idea what she was going to do. I'm not really particular about my hair. But I do have some guidelines I like to follow.
Do it. That parenting voice in my gut said... Do it.
And she gave me her signature hairdo - loose ponytail and a headband.
More than the loose ponytail, she gave me special moments together. She gave me gentleness and compassion and care. And I gave her confidence and control and responsibility.
Seems like a fair trade, right?