Sunday, September 12, 2010
Anxiety and Planning
I'm traveling for business this coming week. I leave Tuesday afternoon and come back Thursday night. It's for training at our corporate office in St Paul.
I will miss 3 bedtimes. I will not be packing Teagan's lunches (she packs based on the menu for the week). I will not be hugging or kissing my kids. I will not be singing and dancing to "Physical" on our way to school.
I haven't had to travel for work since May of 2009. I rarely have to travel and I really like it that way. I like to travel for fun and with my family. I don't like having to be away from my family.
I've been avoiding the subject in my head all week. Today, I can't avoid it anymore. I have to start planning ahead.
I want to get everything ready as much as possible before I go. I want to plan easy menu plans and have lunches as ready to go as possible. Buy a rotisserie chicken on Monday evening. Jeff can make chicken nachos on Tuesday. Chicken can go in Teagan's lunches. Maybe he'll do dinner at church on Wednesday (I know our church family would help him with the logistics). He's got his parents here to help if needed. I'm sure Pop-pop would love to come over and help with bedtime one night. I need to get all of our laundry folded and put away and outfits picked out for the week- one less thing for Jeff to have to worry about while I'm gone.
I get really anxious when I think about not being here Tuesday when Jeff brings the kids home from school. I choke up a bit when I think about not being here at bedtime.
I'm trying to think of the positives.
I'll get a bed to myself for 2 nights. That's about all I've got.
Send good thoughts and prayers Jeff's way this week, please.
Anyone near St. Paul who would want to do dinner Tuesday?
I've got 2 guest posters lined up for Tues and Weds. I'd like one more so that I don't have to try and post while gone. If you are desperate to keep up with me... check out that Twitter feed in the sidebar or follow me on Twitter.
Now I have to go to church and find some peace and comfort... and then come home and kick it into high gear to get this family ready for me not being here.
10 comments:
I rarely travel alone and my kids are older but I actually look forward to my few days alone, even if I am tied up in conferences and meetings. I use this time alone to do things for myself - a nice dinner out with friends or alone, a stroll through the city, a beer at the bar and follow them with a phone call home.
Steve is a great dad and while I always try to make things easier for him, sometimes it is fun for the kids and him to just do whatever. Maybe lunch isn't the typical "packed for school" lunch, maybe bedtime isn't quite the same, maybe baths are skipped, etc...but they are making memories with just dad and that is a great thing!
i hope everything goes very smoothly while you are gone . most of all i hope your anxiety goes away.
If I didn't live 2 hours away from St. Paul I would so love to come have dinner with you. I understand your wanting to be prepared for your husband and kids. I also know that this might be a time for them to do their own special things together and not necessarily do things the way I do them...although I'm sure they would tell him, "that's not the way mommy does it". :)
I hope you get a chance to enjoy a little bit of time for yourself while you are away. XX
I have a feeling Jeff will do fine. Mommy can't be replaced.
The last time my wife had to travel for work, she worried about me and my daughter so much she planned every meal out for us for three days. I was all, "Honey, I didn't fall off the ol' turnip truck yesterday, you know? I can keep us fed over the weekend."
But we used every single one of her meal plans while she was gone.
This is where you and I differ. I love having a hotel room all to myself! I also subscribe to the saying of "absence makes the heart grow fonder."
That, plus Giancarlo doesn't really need me around in order to have the household runs smoothly. Which helps a LOT!
It's never easy to prepare to leave for a few days when you have responsibilities back home. But everything will go fine and the week will pass in a blink. Don't less yourself feel guilty for missing a few nights with the kids. Sleeping alone for two days can help you get all rested up to come back and be Super Mommy again. In fact, maybe you should work in time for a mani/pedi while you're at it.
More positives for you:
It may jogged Jeffs memory to a few more things he loves about having you as his wife and the mother of his children. Absence makes the heart grow fonder, after all.
It will be good to give the kids some perspective on just how great mommy is to them.
The next time you all have a frustrating bedtime you'll be refreshed and it will be less upsetting to you because you will remember that you'd prefer 10 sleepless nights over 2 away from home.
Maybe it will do T some good if you chat with her about you being gone and asking her to be very helpful for dddy. Kids love feeling needed and it may bring her more joy knowing she has a job while mommy is away. :)
Lastly, enjoy yourself. Trut that everyone will be okay and you will come home to lots of love and kisses in a few short days!
Growing up, I remember just one time Mom was away and Dad was in charge of dinner. He became infamous for "burning the beans." :)
I have a friend who is a nurse and works two or three nights a week. I've always thought their family found great balance b/c of her work schedule. Her dh is very confident on how to handle dinner, kids' schedules, bedtime, etc -- he's had the time and space to figure out his own rhythm to all that. I don't often give my dh that kind of space, so we all end up far too dependent on me, and I get burned out sometimes.
Relax and let him handle the details - give him the gift of self-confidence in his daddy skills. His kids may lovingly refer to the time dad had to bail and order pizza, but what they'll really remember was that he loved them enough to give it a go. :)
Yes, you'll miss them. But I have a feeling something will help you enjoy the solace and things won't be sadly quiet.
Time for just the 3 of them will be good for all...trust me! You'll be fine...take some ME time while you're away...enjoy the bed and restful sleep...take a long bath with a glass of wine...go and look through a store you really like.
Also, if you think anyone will read it, I can do a guest blog for ya. Just let me know which format you'd prefer. The Neverending Lori is ramblings about my life; and Bloggin the Bugg is about my weight loss. Pick one and I will e-mail you a post by tomorrow night. You've read it so you know how I am...no hurt feelings if you choose to pass on having me fill in!
Have FUN!
WAIT...I have two more pennies to toss in here. Remember that things being different are also good for the kids...Jeff will do things differently and the routine will be different, but it helps them to see that different is ok and sometimes they might even like it better!
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