The Big Secret

If you've been reading along, you've read about my schedule, activities, philosophies, and some of the practicalities that make life happen. I bet Jessica never expected such a long answer! It isn't a perfect life- no one has such a thing. We are perfect in our imperfections. Keep that in mind as I share this Big Secret, ok? I asked the other day if anyone had a guesses as to what my Big Secret was... I got some VERY creative answers on my Facebook Fan Page! Caffeine, Insanity (can't disagree with either). I'm a robot and there is actually 10 of me (I wish!). I'm a time traveler (can't stop thinking of Dr Who now). There were 2 things that are true- just not Big Secrets. Linda said that I know it can't ALL be done so I prioritize and do my best. I agree- that goes under Philosophy and my understanding that I'm not perfect. Kari suggested that I "ask for help." I do know my limits and I do know when to say No and when to reach out. But none of those were exactly right... scbride came closest... my guess...you have a cleaning lady clean your house every two weeks? if not, that is my big secret, but it's not really a secret. i tell all working moms this tip. I don't have a cleaning lady or service. The main reason that I don't have a cleaning service is that I don't want to pay money out for it. We all have different priorities in regards to money and how we spend and what is important to spend on. Other people want to spend money a cleaning service? Fine by me! It just isn't in my own budget. But there is more to the story. I don't want a cleaning service coming into my house because... I'd be too embarassed. Because my Big Secret is... I don't clean my house. I don't mean it NEVER gets cleaned up. But I don't spend any time during the week mopping or vacuuming unless necessary. I don't spend Saturday scrubbing bathrooms and straightening up bedrooms. I don't do dishes every day. I don't dust or polish. I don't strip and change sheets every week. Our house is cluttery. Our bedroom is chaoticly messy. The kids' bedrooms are manageably messy. My basement is a lost cause. My garage is a lost cause. (Those are Jeff's areas, though). My house isn't filthy. We take out trash, we do laundry and wear clean clothes. We do dishes regularly (just not every single day) but usually have a dirty dish or pan in the sink when we go to bed. My ottoman is covered with clutter. The toys in the living room aren't organized or straightened up or in any sort of order. I don't make my kids clean up every mess they make- because I don't clean up every mess I make. Strangers or recently made friends couldn't just stop by without me being embarassed, in all honesty. Yes, I would like to live in a neat and tidy home. But I'm not willing to make it a priority at this time in our lives. I'm not willing to put in the time every week to maintain it. I do get things done in spurts from time to time. Just never all at once and always as a big project instead of a maintenance thing. So that's the Big Secret. My dirty, cluttered house. Eventually, toys will clear out. Eventually, the house will be more visitor friendly. But with a 5 year old, a 2 year old, a husband, a dog, and me... and working full time, and heading up a children's choir, and getting healthier, and training to run a 5K, and singing on Music Team, and spending time with my kids, and spending time with my husband, and spending time with my friends, and finding a few minutes to read a few pages of a book and sitting down to blog or connect with others online... Something has to give. And when it comes to priorities, house cleaning just isn't on the list. So it is something I can leave unattended to and it's ok. Yes, there are times it is overwhelming and too much- and that is when things get cleaned and time & energy are spent on getting things back under control. Yes, there are times that I would be embarassed to have someone pop over for a surprise visit. But you know what else? My kids aren't afraid to make messes. My kids get plenty of my time and attention. I can focus on getting healthy and strong. I get to spend quality time with my husband every day. And for the friends who know me and love me for all my faults- my home is a place you can show up in any state, any condition, with any needs... and you will be welcomed with open arms and offered food and drink and a place to stay if you need it. Just move the piles of clean clothes onto the rocking chair so you can get on the bed.