"We are so quick to justify our motives. So quick to deflect criticism. So quick to find fault- especially with our spouse, who is always the easiest one to blame."
"As far as we're concerned, we're doing the best we can. And our spouse just ought to be glad we're as good to them as we are."
The thing that strikes me about that last sentence is how selfish it sounds- and we've already done the "love is not selfish" dare!
The book suggests listening when arguing. Instead of proving yourself right, listen to what your partner is saying.
We should be making deliberate efforts to care for the person we've chosen to love. Not seeking out ways for ourselves to be cared for.
"Pride is very resistant to responsibility, but humility and honesty before God and your spouse is crucial for a healthy relationship."
If you have wronged your spouse, you have to seek forgiveness. You can't force them to forgive you but you can choose to recognize your error and ask for healing.
"Admitting your mistakes is your responsibility."
Pray for the things you've done wrong. Admit them to your spouse. Be sincere and truthful. Ask for forgiveness. They may respond negatively or with criticism. But maintain your choice to love and be personally responsible for the actions you've chosen.
"What does your mate need to see in order to believe that your confession was more than just words?"