Sunday, March 28, 2010

Pretending To Be A Single Mom

Jeff went out of town this weekend. A well deserved getaway with a few friends to a "haunt show" in St Louis in preparation for the upcoming True Dungeon at GenCon this summer. He left Friday evening and returns today. No big deal. Most of the time. Friday evening, we were invited to a special event at The Children's Museum. Christy came along to help and play. We didn't get home until almost 9:30 and both kids stayed awake the entire drive home. Christy brought over a bottle of wine and we watched a little TV. Zach got up at 11. He never does that. And he would not go back to sleep. Christy went home soon after and he still refused to go to bed. He cried for Daddy. He wanted Daddy and Mommy just wouldn't cut it. I finally had to put him to bed, shut his door, and walk away. He called for me a few times and soon just found his thumb and went to sleep. And woke up at 4. And at 5:30. And was up for the day, with his sister, at 6:30. So we started Saturday off already tired and run down. Baths first thing. Off to an event at Teagan's school. Then to the grocery store. Then home and the kids played on the deck. Until Zach fell into the thing of bubbles and soaked his pants. Inside, stripped down. On the potty, fighting me taking his clothes off. He falls in the toilet. Into the tub and rinsed off. Into a clean shirt and udnerwear and into bed for a nap. Every time each child is unhappy with what is going on, they want Daddy. I know that part of it is just a wanting the other parent in the hopes of getting a different answer. I also think part of it is that not having Daddy here makes the world different and something is missing for them. Teagan had a 45 minute meltdown after dinner over socks. Tried to get the kids out for a walk but Zach was too tired to walk further than the corner and I wasn't going to try and dig out the stroller. Bedtime wasn't easy but wasn't awful, either. Phone calls to Daddy helped. Both children have fallen asleep and I can sit and relax a bit. Recent posts have been about "how I do it all." I couldn't do even half of it without my husband and his support. Tomorrow, I am giving up singing at church because I can't be up front singing and leave both kids unattended in the seats. I can't leave Zach in the nursery for 4 hours. So I'll go and help with the first service processional for Palm Sunday. I'll do the Children's Choir. And I'll help with processional for second service. And then we will head home. I can't do it all and I know my limits and I know when I have to change something. It's no secret; it's just something that is emphasized for me when Jeff is away for a weekend. I need my partner. We got married and opted to start a family because we are both in it together. It's one of the most amazing things about my marriage. We work hard at it and I so appreciate that we found each other, chose each other, and choose each other over and over again. Honey- I missed you. The kids missed you. We are all so glad you are home. Now, excuse me for a few hours while I go take a long nap. Photobucket

6 comments:

Mellodee said...

Don't lose sight of the fact that despite all the "challenges", you survived, the kids survived, Daddy thinks you're great for "letting" him go play with his friends, church will be there next week, and the kids will not remember this weekend beyond Wednesday, tops! You are capable, loving, and energetic (when you need to be). Someday soon, when you least expect it, the kids will be off to college, or camp,or even(yikes!) married!! And you'll miss having them around for the ordinary days. :) Life goes by in an instant. Enjoy or learn (or both) from it all!

michelle said...

Being a single mom IS NO FUN! It's overwhelming and frustrating and exhausting and just plain too much work.

So much better to have someone to share the load. Especially if it's someone you kinda like!

Katherine said...

I think that being a single parent is the hardest job in the entire world.

I know that I wouldn't be able to survive without my husband's help. Every time things get rough, I think that at least I don't have to do this alone.

Flartus said...

I have no idea how single parents do it. I have no idea how "double" parents do it, for that matter! So good, though, that instead of grumbling about having to carry all the load yourself, you use it as a reminder of how important Jeff is. I think that's called "maturity." :) Hope Sunday is relaxing!

Jason, as himself said...

Whew! This made me tired. And it also shows what a dedicated parent you are...all of this stuff could have just been shrugged off, you know.

But you're not that kind of a parent.

Garret of Jim and Garret said...

Ugh!