Monday, February 4, 2019

Figuring Out Not Failing

A couple of weeks ago, I hit my lowest weight in at least 15 years.

It freaked me out a little.

I started to struggle with my nutrition a little. But kept on with exercising.

I didn't lose weight but also didn't gain anything. And could feel muscles in my legs and stomach getting stronger.

And then I hurt myself. Exercising.

Plantar fasciitis. Which is more painful than I'd imagined and very annoying. I've had days where I feel like I literally can't walk. Then the limping and adjusting made my IT band flare up.

I attacked the issue. Researched it. Took ibuprofen and iced my foot. Did stretches and massage. Bought a special sock to sleep in because the pain can be worse in the morning due to the foot not flexing all night. I now know to stay completely off the treadmill. I even stopped doing my new exercise program because step aerobics is bad for plantar fasciitis. I was only working out once a day and less than an hour total.

And after a few days, I felt like totally giving up because I was doing "all the right things" and still had pain in my foot.

It hit me this morning. If I don't address this, I will get right back on the road to giving up and failure. Again.

It was an issue with my IT band that was the start of my downfall back when I was a runner.

It's mind bendingly frustrating to be doing healthy things and exercising and getting stronger... and that leads to being bad for me.

My response to my frustration was to eat. It was surprisingly easy to fall back into bad habits.

So here I am, just one week after this injury, and I've gained a few pounds. I'm frustrated that I still have pain in my foot and have to restrict my activity. I'm angry with myself for the bad food choices I've made in the last week.


This time, I'm not going fully off the rails.

It's a dumb thing, maybe, but I know I still have control because the idea of a Big Mac is still gross to me. That seems to be my major measuring stick. When my mind is in the right healthy place, my desire for fast food is nil.

Today, I am focusing on the things I'm still doing right.

Finding ways to exercise without focusing on cardio. I think I'm going to get back to Beachbody's LIIFT 4 - and just modify the cardio parts until my foot heals.

Even the bad eating I did wasn't the most terrible choosing I could have done. I over ate and I did eat junk - but I still was making 85% good choices.

I don't feel a desire to quit. I want to lose more weight. I want to strengthen my muscles. The desire to be healthier is still there.

Here's to getting back on track. To restructuring the plan. To making it work.

Until next time,

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