Wednesday, September 4, 2013

Friends: Definition

Friend - a person attached to another by feelings of affection or personal regard.  (

"Friendship is unnecessary, like philosophy, like art... It has no survival value; rather it is one of those things that give value to survival."  -C.S. Lewis

"Be courteous to all, but intimate with few, and let those few be well tried before you give them your confidence."  - George Washington

“We'll be Friends Forever, won't we, Pooh?' asked Piglet.
Even longer,' Pooh answered.”   - A.A. Milne

I think one of the hardest things about friendship is defining it.

We have all different categories and layers and levels of friendship.

I have friends from junior high, friends from high school, friends from college, friends from work, friends from the internet (and those fall into all different groups - Indy Moms, Teagan's birth board, blogging), church friends, friends I eat sushi with, friends I did theatre with, friends I share very private things with, friends I call my soul mates, friends I keep at a distance, friends I want to spend more time with.

You get the idea.

It's kind of exhausting.

I am blessed to have a community that surrounds me and my family - the circles overlap with me at the center.  Church, Family, Moms, School, Work - groups that, should my family face a truly difficult time, would come together and support me through it, support my fmaily through it.

But the community as a whole can't be defined, specifically, as made up of friends.

I am going to define "friends" as the people that I would turn to with confidential information ro would turn to when I need a shoulder, advice, a reality check.

People I respect and love and trust that they also love and respect me.  People who hold similar values.

People that I long to spend time with - even if it's hard to make that time happen.

People that make me laugh and who also find joy in my friendship.

People who would turn to me when they need support and advice.

People who aren't going to judge me when I need help, need to vent.  Who love me as I am where I am.

Oh - there's that L Word.  Love.  I do believe that friendship includes love.  So I am going to define Friendship as the people in my life that I truly love in the personal sense.

That definitely helps clear the field and highlight the people in my communities that qould qualify as my friends.

Liz's definition of friendship:

A relationship with another person that is based on mututal respect, joy, love and values.  Distance and time are not a hindrance but do play a part.


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