Lunch was just going to be a chance to get food into our bellies. Instead, it became a chance to be a little silly and let the frustration go.
Tuesday, April 10, 2012
The Importance of Being Silly
Frustration level was high- complaining kid, fighting siblings.
Lunch was just going to be a chance to get food into our bellies. Instead, it became a chance to be a little silly and let the frustration go.
Lunch was just going to be a chance to get food into our bellies. Instead, it became a chance to be a little silly and let the frustration go.
Monday, April 9, 2012
Celebrating Easter
I love Easter. On the church calendar, it is my favorite holiday. Chances are that you know the basics of the Easter story- Jesus was crucified on Good Friday, died, was buried in a tomb, and rose from the dead on the 3rd day. We celebrate that day as Easter Sunday.
It carries a lot of reasons to celebrate and be joyful!
However, there is a church service, a recognition that happens prior to Easter. Holy Week is filled with recognition of things that happened in that last week of Christ's life. Palm Sunday, Maundy Thursday, Good Friday, and Easter Sunday.
I haven't attended Maundy Thursday or Good Friday services in several years. I don't have anything against them.
It's too emotional for me.
As a teen, when I really began to understand the events that lead up to and the crucifixion of Jesus, it became a very emotional story for me. Learning about the whipping, the struggle of carrying the cross, the hatred of the people, the cruelty of crucifixion as a death sentence... the darkness of all of it has been hard for me to think about.
In 2004, I attended a Good Friday service at my church (The Promise United Methodist Church). It was my first time visiting the church but I went because a friend was singing at the service and I wanted to support him.
5 days later, I miscarried my first pregnancy.
Somehow, all of the emotion of Good Friday tied in with that miscarriage experience and I have avoided Good Friday ever since.
Until this year.
Over the past year or so, I've been blessed to find myself in some leadership roles in my church. I have given the sermon, I'm leading a ministry, I teach Sunday School, I'm helping to lead worship on our Praise Team, and more. If there is something I really can't do, I say no. Most of the time, I feel like a quick prayer lets me know if this is an important opportunity that God is bringing to me.
Early last week, our Associate Pastor (and my friend) called to ask if I would participate in the Scripture readings in the Good Friday Tenebrae service. *gulp*
It's a beautiful service. We sing "Were You There," our pastor gives a meditation/message, and then 4 of us read parts of Scripture that told the story of Good Friday. There is a brief singing response after each reading as a candle on the alter is extinguished.
My last reading was the second to last passage to be read. It is after Jesus has died and the soldiers come to break the legs of those hanging in order to speed up their death. When it is discovered that he is already dead, they pierce his side.
I was nervous about reading this passage. It's pretty emotional. That's some crazy brutality, you know? They aren't dying fast enough as they slowly suffocate on a cross where they are hanging by their hands and feet so let's break their legs so they die faster. Oh- he's already dead so let's put a gash in his side so that he bleeds.
I stepped up to read. And I cried as I read it.
When service was over, I left quickly.
I wasn't embarrassed. But I wanted to be alone in that grief. Selfishly, I wanted privacy in the pain I felt as I looked back on the incredible sacrifice made for me.
As I drove home, I contemplated my emotional display. My hope is that the honesty of what I feel on Good Friday will come through to someone in a different way. Perhaps they hadn't thought of the humanity of the story. Perhaps it had always been just a story.
But what I took from it was that God called on me to do something outside of my comfort zone, to step outside of my self. I know it seems like I'm great at talking in front of people, being confident, willing to do anything. But the things I do for and with my church family are very serious to me. This was a big step- to take something I've held as very intimate and personal, something that has been my own private mourning and grief- and share it with my church family. I was nervous. But there was a reason that I was asked and a reason why the emotion poured out. I may not know the reason- maybe it was for me, maybe it was for someone else.
And Sunday? When Jesus conquered death and returned to life? My celebration, my joy was easy to share!
It carries a lot of reasons to celebrate and be joyful!
However, there is a church service, a recognition that happens prior to Easter. Holy Week is filled with recognition of things that happened in that last week of Christ's life. Palm Sunday, Maundy Thursday, Good Friday, and Easter Sunday.
I haven't attended Maundy Thursday or Good Friday services in several years. I don't have anything against them.
It's too emotional for me.
As a teen, when I really began to understand the events that lead up to and the crucifixion of Jesus, it became a very emotional story for me. Learning about the whipping, the struggle of carrying the cross, the hatred of the people, the cruelty of crucifixion as a death sentence... the darkness of all of it has been hard for me to think about.
In 2004, I attended a Good Friday service at my church (The Promise United Methodist Church). It was my first time visiting the church but I went because a friend was singing at the service and I wanted to support him.
5 days later, I miscarried my first pregnancy.
Somehow, all of the emotion of Good Friday tied in with that miscarriage experience and I have avoided Good Friday ever since.
Until this year.
Over the past year or so, I've been blessed to find myself in some leadership roles in my church. I have given the sermon, I'm leading a ministry, I teach Sunday School, I'm helping to lead worship on our Praise Team, and more. If there is something I really can't do, I say no. Most of the time, I feel like a quick prayer lets me know if this is an important opportunity that God is bringing to me.
Early last week, our Associate Pastor (and my friend) called to ask if I would participate in the Scripture readings in the Good Friday Tenebrae service. *gulp*
It's a beautiful service. We sing "Were You There," our pastor gives a meditation/message, and then 4 of us read parts of Scripture that told the story of Good Friday. There is a brief singing response after each reading as a candle on the alter is extinguished.
My last reading was the second to last passage to be read. It is after Jesus has died and the soldiers come to break the legs of those hanging in order to speed up their death. When it is discovered that he is already dead, they pierce his side.
I was nervous about reading this passage. It's pretty emotional. That's some crazy brutality, you know? They aren't dying fast enough as they slowly suffocate on a cross where they are hanging by their hands and feet so let's break their legs so they die faster. Oh- he's already dead so let's put a gash in his side so that he bleeds.
I stepped up to read. And I cried as I read it.
When service was over, I left quickly.
I wasn't embarrassed. But I wanted to be alone in that grief. Selfishly, I wanted privacy in the pain I felt as I looked back on the incredible sacrifice made for me.
As I drove home, I contemplated my emotional display. My hope is that the honesty of what I feel on Good Friday will come through to someone in a different way. Perhaps they hadn't thought of the humanity of the story. Perhaps it had always been just a story.
But what I took from it was that God called on me to do something outside of my comfort zone, to step outside of my self. I know it seems like I'm great at talking in front of people, being confident, willing to do anything. But the things I do for and with my church family are very serious to me. This was a big step- to take something I've held as very intimate and personal, something that has been my own private mourning and grief- and share it with my church family. I was nervous. But there was a reason that I was asked and a reason why the emotion poured out. I may not know the reason- maybe it was for me, maybe it was for someone else.
And Sunday? When Jesus conquered death and returned to life? My celebration, my joy was easy to share!
Sunday, April 8, 2012
Family Fun
I haven't done Sundays in My City in such a long time!
We had so much family fun on Friday and Saturday- which always comes with moments of frustration, of course- that I just wanted to be able to save as many moments as possible.
We went to Conner Prairie Interactive History Museum on Friday (just me and the kids), met Daddy for lunch at McAlister's, and then spent Saturday at the Indianapolis Children's Museum.
We had so much family fun on Friday and Saturday- which always comes with moments of frustration, of course- that I just wanted to be able to save as many moments as possible.
We went to Conner Prairie Interactive History Museum on Friday (just me and the kids), met Daddy for lunch at McAlister's, and then spent Saturday at the Indianapolis Children's Museum.
Saturday, April 7, 2012
Transition
It took about a day to really get used to the family being all together again.
We're back to normal now but I'm hopeful that Jeff and I will hold on to something really important that we've learned.
We are in this together.
When I get frustrated with the kids, he can step in. If he's getting frustrated, I can step in. And at the end of a frustrating day, we can find peace and comfort and laughter in each other.
I used to think that my babies were my priority and I was appalled at anyone who said otherwise. I firmly believed that my husband was an adult and could take care of himself and my children needed ME to take care of them above all else.
Then I did the Love Dare for a few weeks and got a great take away from it. It's what started this idea that the kids always being first is not what is actually best. Having a week with the kids gone and time for Jeff and I to just enjoy each other's company, do what we wanted to do, and not have any kind of kid stress hanging over us was a nice reminder of putting each other as a top priority.
We are transitioning back to being a family of 4. But there is a renewed focus on the relationship between Jeff and I and how we can best be partners in parenting our children, how we can be partners in leading the family. I think we're all worth it.
We're back to normal now but I'm hopeful that Jeff and I will hold on to something really important that we've learned.
We are in this together.
When I get frustrated with the kids, he can step in. If he's getting frustrated, I can step in. And at the end of a frustrating day, we can find peace and comfort and laughter in each other.
I used to think that my babies were my priority and I was appalled at anyone who said otherwise. I firmly believed that my husband was an adult and could take care of himself and my children needed ME to take care of them above all else.
Then I did the Love Dare for a few weeks and got a great take away from it. It's what started this idea that the kids always being first is not what is actually best. Having a week with the kids gone and time for Jeff and I to just enjoy each other's company, do what we wanted to do, and not have any kind of kid stress hanging over us was a nice reminder of putting each other as a top priority.
We are transitioning back to being a family of 4. But there is a renewed focus on the relationship between Jeff and I and how we can best be partners in parenting our children, how we can be partners in leading the family. I think we're all worth it.
Thursday, April 5, 2012
The End
On Friday, I took my kids to Grandma's house- about 2 hours away.
Jeff and I dated all weekend long. We saw movie, went out to dinner, enjoyed each other's company.
I did some housework, laundry, cleaning out the kitchen.
I spent time with friends.
I got my hair done.
I lived in my PJ's for over 24 hours.
I slept in until 8 a.m.
I took bags and bags of stuff to Goodwill.
I sat on the couch with all electronics turned off, windows open, and just enjoyed the sunshine, the birds, the outside sounds.
I relaxed.
This evening, I go pick them up again. They have spent a week doing crafts and cooking and visiting my grandparents. This afternoon, they are going to the Reds Opening Day Parade (baseball) and then heading to our meeting point so I can bring them home.
It is the end of my time without the kids in the house. It is the end of my vacation.
The biggest take-away from this week is figuring out how to maintain the calm, the relaxed state, the fun self once the kids and I are back. Jeff and I both feel like we were different- less frustrated and frazzled. I want to maintain that sense when the kids are back. They deserve parents who are fun and relaxed and eager to enjoy their company.
It's the end of our little vacation- and I hope it is the start of a refreshed set of parents and grateful kids!
Jeff and I dated all weekend long. We saw movie, went out to dinner, enjoyed each other's company.
I did some housework, laundry, cleaning out the kitchen.
I spent time with friends.
I got my hair done.
I lived in my PJ's for over 24 hours.
I slept in until 8 a.m.
I took bags and bags of stuff to Goodwill.
I sat on the couch with all electronics turned off, windows open, and just enjoyed the sunshine, the birds, the outside sounds.
I relaxed.
This evening, I go pick them up again. They have spent a week doing crafts and cooking and visiting my grandparents. This afternoon, they are going to the Reds Opening Day Parade (baseball) and then heading to our meeting point so I can bring them home.
It is the end of my time without the kids in the house. It is the end of my vacation.
The biggest take-away from this week is figuring out how to maintain the calm, the relaxed state, the fun self once the kids and I are back. Jeff and I both feel like we were different- less frustrated and frazzled. I want to maintain that sense when the kids are back. They deserve parents who are fun and relaxed and eager to enjoy their company.
It's the end of our little vacation- and I hope it is the start of a refreshed set of parents and grateful kids!
Tuesday, April 3, 2012
New 'Do
I am a low maintenance gal. I rarely wear makeup. I honestly can't even recall the last time I put makeup on. My hair has to be easy to do. I can't seem to bring myself to spend 15+ minutes on appearance. It's just how I am.
My vanity choices include coloring my hair and tweezing my eyebrows and shaving my legs about once a week.
Today, I treated myself to a hairdo that should be super easy to take care of. Back in September, I worked up the nerve to make an appointment with a woman from my church who has a wonderful reputation- I see her great work on my friends all the time. She found natural curl in my hair and that gave me a great wash-and-wear hairstyle. Wash, towel dry, scrunch in some mousse or spray gel, done.
But the next day, it would take a little work to get my hair right. I don't wash my hair every morning (for a variety of reasons).
I had been on the fence about this Brazilian Blowout. I was worried about the chemicals, reports of issues with the fumes, and hearing that people were paying up to $400! I thought it was insane.
Today, I had it done. It did not cost me anywhere near $400. It was not a dripping with chemicals process. And there is a good chance that my hair will be sleek and in control for the next month.
The before is washed, brushed, air dried and no product.
My vanity choices include coloring my hair and tweezing my eyebrows and shaving my legs about once a week.
Today, I treated myself to a hairdo that should be super easy to take care of. Back in September, I worked up the nerve to make an appointment with a woman from my church who has a wonderful reputation- I see her great work on my friends all the time. She found natural curl in my hair and that gave me a great wash-and-wear hairstyle. Wash, towel dry, scrunch in some mousse or spray gel, done.
But the next day, it would take a little work to get my hair right. I don't wash my hair every morning (for a variety of reasons).
I had been on the fence about this Brazilian Blowout. I was worried about the chemicals, reports of issues with the fumes, and hearing that people were paying up to $400! I thought it was insane.
Today, I had it done. It did not cost me anywhere near $400. It was not a dripping with chemicals process. And there is a good chance that my hair will be sleek and in control for the next month.
The before is washed, brushed, air dried and no product.
Monday, April 2, 2012
Sleep Needed
On Friday, Jeff and I drove our children 2 hours away to Grandma's house. And we left them there.
By all reports, they are having a great time. And so are we!
We drove home in time for a lovely dinner out at a favorite hibachi restaurant- where the kids refuse to eat because the fire scares them. I went out Saturday night with some friends and stayed out for several hours, the guilt of leaving Jeff home with the kids wasn't a weight on me this time. Yesterday, we went to a movie together.
It's been lovely.
Except for one thing.
I haven't had a good night's sleep yet.
Stayed up a little too late Friday night and had to be up early for a leadership retreat at my church. Stayed up late Saturday night, had to be up at a certain time for Palm Sunday church commitments. Didn't sleep well Saturday night- had an ongoing dream throughout the night about living in a house where the house was trying to force us to leave but also wouldn't let us out. Up late again Sunday night, thinking that sleeping in would be an option today. Not expecting a 2 hour window in the middle of the night where I fought off an intense urge to vomit and battled an intense stomachache.
I just want one good night's sleep. No bad dreams, no upset tummy, no getting up early, no dogs demanding things.
The kids tell me they are going to stay with Grandma until at least Thursday- they want to be there for the Reds Opening Day Parade. That gives me 3 more chances to get this elusive Good Night's Sleep.
Here's hoping...
By all reports, they are having a great time. And so are we!
We drove home in time for a lovely dinner out at a favorite hibachi restaurant- where the kids refuse to eat because the fire scares them. I went out Saturday night with some friends and stayed out for several hours, the guilt of leaving Jeff home with the kids wasn't a weight on me this time. Yesterday, we went to a movie together.
It's been lovely.
Except for one thing.
I haven't had a good night's sleep yet.
Stayed up a little too late Friday night and had to be up early for a leadership retreat at my church. Stayed up late Saturday night, had to be up at a certain time for Palm Sunday church commitments. Didn't sleep well Saturday night- had an ongoing dream throughout the night about living in a house where the house was trying to force us to leave but also wouldn't let us out. Up late again Sunday night, thinking that sleeping in would be an option today. Not expecting a 2 hour window in the middle of the night where I fought off an intense urge to vomit and battled an intense stomachache.
I just want one good night's sleep. No bad dreams, no upset tummy, no getting up early, no dogs demanding things.
The kids tell me they are going to stay with Grandma until at least Thursday- they want to be there for the Reds Opening Day Parade. That gives me 3 more chances to get this elusive Good Night's Sleep.
Here's hoping...
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