Miscellaneous Mom

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Monday Minutes

Alright, as I gear up for heading out of town for work, I am just going to cover some various bits and pieces. I look forward to getting back to my regular "lizdom" blogging once this week is over!! I have full and complete confidence in my husband. I truly do know all the benefits of my being away for a few days. If I were going away for a fun weekend, I'd miss the family but the anxiety wouldn't be present. This truly isn't about how Jeff will handle things. We are parenting partners and do everything together so I know he's going to handle it all just fine. I want to make things as easy for him as possible so he can focus on having fun with the kids and have full energy for handling anything that comes up with them. I am very excited for the guest blogs for this week! The first one is going to be near and dear to my heart. A good friend of mine, who is also a great support in my Healthier Me journey, is starting a new project that I am going to be part of and hope you will join us, too! I came up with some fun things for the kids while I'm gone. When we were grocery shopping, Teagan asked about a bottle of Simply Raspberry Lemonade. It was on sale. I picked it up... and told her we would buy it but she can't have any until Tuesday at dinner when Mommy is gone. Jeff picked out cinnamon rolls that they will make one morning while Mommy is gone. And I snuck a surprise into the basket- nacho cheese popcorn flavoring like Grandma had! We don't have a cool popcorn popper but they will enjoy the cheese flavor all the same. I'm betting Jeff sets up a fun movie night for them to go with the popcorn. They can have peanut butter sandwiches and fruit for dinner and popcorn! Isn't that butterfly pretty? I found the graphic on this website that has a lot of pretty butterfly jewelry. Lots of pretty dragonflies and ladybugs and other insects, too.

Anxiety and Planning

I'm traveling for business this coming week. I leave Tuesday afternoon and come back Thursday night. It's for training at our corporate office in St Paul. I will miss 3 bedtimes. I will not be packing Teagan's lunches (she packs based on the menu for the week). I will not be hugging or kissing my kids. I will not be singing and dancing to "Physical" on our way to school. I haven't had to travel for work since May of 2009. I rarely have to travel and I really like it that way. I like to travel for fun and with my family. I don't like having to be away from my family. I've been avoiding the subject in my head all week. Today, I can't avoid it anymore. I have to start planning ahead. I want to get everything ready as much as possible before I go. I want to plan easy menu plans and have lunches as ready to go as possible. Buy a rotisserie chicken on Monday evening. Jeff can make chicken nachos on Tuesday. Chicken can go in Teagan's lunches. Maybe he'll do dinner at church on Wednesday (I know our church family would help him with the logistics). He's got his parents here to help if needed. I'm sure Pop-pop would love to come over and help with bedtime one night. I need to get all of our laundry folded and put away and outfits picked out for the week- one less thing for Jeff to have to worry about while I'm gone. I get really anxious when I think about not being here Tuesday when Jeff brings the kids home from school. I choke up a bit when I think about not being here at bedtime. I'm trying to think of the positives. I'll get a bed to myself for 2 nights. That's about all I've got. Send good thoughts and prayers Jeff's way this week, please. Anyone near St. Paul who would want to do dinner Tuesday? I've got 2 guest posters lined up for Tues and Weds. I'd like one more so that I don't have to try and post while gone. If you are desperate to keep up with me... check out that Twitter feed in the sidebar or follow me on Twitter. Now I have to go to church and find some peace and comfort... and then come home and kick it into high gear to get this family ready for me not being here.

My Mom's 50th Birthday

I had great plans for my mom's 50th birthday. That's one of those milestone birthdays and I felt like she deserved a special celebration. My dad isn't a party planner and since I live out of state, I don't know their social network. Planning a party was out of the question. Instead, I decided to take the day off work, drive to Cincinnati and spend the day with my mom. We would go shopping and out to lunch. And it would be just the two of us. I was very excited about the day and my plans. I was going to treat my mom and take care of her. The day was sunny, the weather gorgeous. It was the perfect day for the 2 hour drive. I left my apartment a little after 8. I was listening to the radio, enjoying the sunshine, windows down. It was a great morning and was going to be a great day! Around 8:50, the DJ on the morning show I was listening to reported something about a plane crashing into a building in New York City. I didn't think much of it- I assumed they meant a small prop plane or something. The news quickly changed tone and the eyewitness reports poured over the airwaves. I had no cell phone and was in the fields of Indiana. I thought about stopping at the halfway point to go into the Wal Mart and see their TVs but since I couldn't call anyone to let them know why I was late, I decided to just keep driving. I couldn't imagine what was happening, what it looked like. For the next 90 minutes of my drive, I listened to Peter Jennings on the radio and I cried and I was scared and I was worried. I arrived in Ohio and rushed for the TV. I watched, dumbfounded. And it was still my mom's 50th birthday. We watched as much of the news as we could. The repeated airing of the planes, the crashes, the buildings. The next day, I would learn that a man I worked with lost his brother- Lieutenant General Timothy Maude- at the Pentagon. At the time, one of my responsibilities was assisting the management of our fleet of vehicles for our sales force. My contacts with our car insurance company worked in the Towers. I saved the insurance cards that we used to send out to drivers because of the address on them. But for that day... we had to make a choice. It was my mom's birthday. Terrorists had attacked and no one knew what was going to happen next or if it was over. Did we lock ourselves in the house or did we keep on living? We attempted going out. We went to the mall and within 5 minutes of walking in, they announced that the mall was closing. The drive back to my mom's house was eerie- everything was closing and quiet. I drove back home far earlier than expected. And I spent the rest of the evening with Jeff, watching coverage, in shock, sometimes crying. 9 years later, I feel like my mom never got the 50th birthday celebration that I'd planned for her. We didn't get that special day. I'd been so excited to take her out- I was living on my own, I was independent and going to treat her with my own money that I'd earned at my job. I've thought about trying to make the plans for her birthday again but it hasn't ever worked for a variety of reasons. Next year, she will turn 60. The country will be remembering the 10th anniversary of 9/11. And I'm going to take my mom out to celebrate the 10th anniversary of her 50th birthday. I guess the silver lining is that I will always think of 9/11 as my mom's 50th birthday- no matter what year it really is!

Insert Fun Title Here

I'm drained today. I'm going with fragments because it suits my brain at the moment.

I was heading to church last night for a group meet up. My church does this thing called "Face Out Groups." It's like Bible Study but not sitting around a table reading the Bible or getting preached at. Different groups are formed by anyone interested in leading one and the focus of study or purpose is unique to each group. I'm leading one (mt first time ever) that I've named Walk By Faith. We met at 8:00, read some Bible verses I'd selected, shared some questions for possible discussion, and then we walked for 30 minutes. There was some confusion on start date and time so there were only 3 of us last night. But it went well and I'm looking forward to this weekly group meeting. I've got 7 weeks planned out and will have more soon! ***** My period decided to be 2 days late this month. I was mildly panicked about it. Guess it's time to visit the OB and check out the more permanent solutions since we feel our family is full. Anyone have that Essure thing done? ***** On my way to church, I totally rocked out to Violent Femmes "Blister In The Sun." It came on the radio and I had my minivan windows down and was drumming all over the steering wheel. I'm sure I looked uber-cool, too. But it inspired me to get back in touch with my younger days music and today, I'm surviving work thanks to the Femmes and The Pogues and Indigo Girls. ***** I have to travel for work next week. Is anyone interested in guest blogging for me? You don't have to have a blog to guest post!! In fact, it would be a great way to just do a little writing with no pressure to do more... e-mail me if you'd like to post. You can e-mail your post to me by Monday night and I'll set up auto posting. I'd like at least 3 guest posts but would be thrilled to have more than that!! If you are one of my regular commenters or if you think guest posting here could help cross promote your blog or if you have read something I've written and want to write something inspired by or refuting it... you get the idea! ***** Birthday party season is upon us. Teagan has a party to attend this weekend and next weekend. One thing I like about birthday parties is helping Teagan pick out a gift for her friend. At first, it felt overwhelming and frustrating to try and pick a gift when I don't know these kids. Then it dawned on me- ask Teagan! But with an open question like "What do you want to get so-and-so?" she was overwhelmed, too. So I figured out how to help her choose a good gift. I ask her "What center does so-and-so most like to play in?" (They do "centers" in the classrooms- home living, math, science, reading, etc.) That gets her thinking about times she has had a center with that child or what center they get most excited about going to. From there, we can easily figure out what section of the toy or book department to visit. ***** I'm thinking a lot about Hallie and her family today. Today is World Suicide Prevention Day. I know too many people who have either attempted suicide, thought about suicide, or lost someone to suicide. I'm taking time throughout the day to pray for those impacted by suicide. If you would like to be added to my prayer list, please let me know. ***** Is anyone connected to children's choir? I lead our children's choir at church and am so not hugely experienced. I enjoy it and we have fun but I really want to grow the program and am looking for resources to help me. ***** Alright- wow me with your weekend plans!!

Randomness (I Miss My Friend)

Christy is off in Paris. 2 whole weeks without her. She's my closest friend and I talk to her almost every single day. We work together and carpool whenever we can. I last saw Christy Saturday morning at the Farmer's Market. I miss talking to my friend every day. I miss the randomness of our conversations. I expressed this to Jeff last night and he offered to fill in so I could talk random with him but it just didn't work. So I'm going to attempt to do a blog version of randomness and I'm going to pretend like I'm driving in my car with Christy beside me while I'm typing. Or maybe we're in the locker room at the gym, getting ready for a butt kicking workout. Or maybe she's in my office, venting about something. Or maybe I just dropped her off at her house and am calling her because I forgot to tell her one last thing. ***** I'm unbelievably flattered when I show up on other people's blogs. Truly. My post yesterday grabbed a lot of attention from some people and one of those people is my brother's girlfriend, Em. Em blogs and I love reading her blog and I know she likes reading mine. It's really been a great way to get to know each other. Anyway, she read my post yesterday and it prompted a great post on her blog about wearing make up. I was going through my blog list this morning, opening up the posts I wanted to read into new tabs (I tend to go through and open 20 or so and then click to them when I can throughout the morning). As I do everyday, I clicked to Half Past Kissin' Time. When I got to the tab and read the post... my jaw dropped, tears welled up in my eyes and I had goosebumps. It's amazingly powerful in a deep way to know that you have impacted someone else's life. And Mrs4444 have, apparently, done that for each other. ***** Amy is a friend I made through the internet. We might have first become aware of each other through a local moms' discussion board but we've become friends through blogging. We support each other in blogging- helping each other find opportunities, recommending each other. We've met face to face a few times and I always enjoy seeing her. She's hilarious and kind and real. Today, she posted a fun little entry about keys. Instead of just leaving a comment, I thought I'd share my keys with the world. I have my car key on a ring that can separate from the other half of my key chain. Makes it super easy when I drop my car off for an oil change or when I need to run back in the house for something. I have a few store loyalty cards- my CVS ExtraCare card (insurance through work), my Marsh (grocery) card, my Kroger card (rarely used), and my library card. I have my house key, office key, and a key to my desk (rarely used). I have a metal keychain with my company's name before we were acquired by 3M (should probably get rid of it) and I have a State Fair 2010 keychain that I really love! And my flash drive. Because I'm married to a nerd who has taught me the ways of nerd-dom and how they are good. ***** I have a new favorite album! It's called "Do Fun Stuff." Yes, it's an album of kid music. Here's what I love about it... there's this guy you might have heard of. He writes Pacing the Panic Room. His story is pretty awesome. I've been reading him for well over a year now. He had some great opportunities come his way that thrust him into a bigger spotlight and he is using that spotlight to bring attention to a disorder called SMS- Smith Magenis Syndrome. I don't know a lot about SMS. I know that his stepson has it and that he and his wife have been amazing advocates and partners for this little boy as they enter this world of SMS and having a "special needs" child. He has a lot of connections into the artsy side of life and he brought together some fantastically talented independent bands and musicians and they made this very fun album. It's only $10 and the money earned goes to support SMS research. And you won't be shoving cotton balls in your ears when your kids ask to listen to it and you might even find yourself turning it on while sitting at your desk at work and there aren't any kids within a 1/2 mile radius of where you are. So go check it out. ***** There is a nice little conversation going on in the comments of yesterday's post. Feel free to join in on your thoughts about what's "the norm." ***** Now that I've written all this random stuff, I wonder what I'm going to do for fragments tomorrow?

Why Does It Have To Be Normal?

There was a discussion on a local moms' discussion board recently and one of the subjects has really stayed with me. I was home on Tuesday, cleaning house, organizing. My thoughts kept going back to the discussion. A mom was asking for advice regarding her 6th grader saying "I'm not pretty." This mom and several moms offering support said the same thing... "It's normal for this age." I stewed over that a good part of the day and the more I came back to it, the angrier I got. Yep, angry. Why are we willing to be okay with 10 or 11 year old girls being focused on beauty? Thinking it's just normal for them to criticize their appearance? Why are we willing to use that as an excuse to brush it under the rug? How often do we stand in front of the mirror and criticize our nose, our double chin, our cheekbones? How often do our children see skinny models on TV being told they look fat? How often do our kids take in magazines where various people and stars are being criticized for the latest "fahion faux pas?" How often do our daughters hear their mothers saying they need a make over, they need to lose 5 pounds? How often do we get overly excited about a new shade of lipstick and how it changes our face? How often do our girls see us hinging our self esteem on the compliments we may or may not get from our husbands or partners? I wrote once about being shocked to have Teagan asking a lot of questions about looking fat, what fat means, and so on. We eventually figured out that the language was coming from Alvin and the Chipmunks. However, the first thing I did was to look at my own actions and words. I'd spent about 3 months being focused on becoming healthier- had I been saying anything about being fat or food making you fat or... No, no I hadn't. But I had to look at myself first. Because I am the greatest influence on my daughter. It's not about controlling what we watch or what she takes in or what she sees or hears. It's about her witnessing my true feelings and reactions to things. She won't hear me say- "I can't go out! I don't have any make up on! I can't let people see me like this!" She won't hear me say- "I can't wear this! I look like a sausage! Look how fat I am!" She won't hear me say- "I hate my _____." She won't see me making negative faces at myself in the mirror. She won't see me obsessing over my appearance. And our family culture is such that there just isn't a focus on appearance. There isn't a right or best way to look. We don't dress to the nines for church. We don't obsess over the appearance of our home or how nice our furniture is. We don't have a single fashion or entertainment magazine in this house. Not because those things are inherently bad but because they simply aren't on our list of family priorities. Feeling like you aren't pretty... hating yourself... demeaning yourself... it's NOT normal! And the only way our girls will stop doing it is if we all make more of an effort to stop doing it to ourselves. We're the ones that make it normal. And then, when our children follow our example, we excuse it and brush it off as normal, a phase, or just what girls do. Well, that isn't acceptable for my family, for my daughter, for my son. I am going to fight the boxes that the world wants to put my kids in. I'm going to fight the automatic definitions of being a man or being a girl. I'm going to change the norm. I'm going to follow in my mother's footsteps and not focus on hair, makeup, beauty, wrinkles, gray hair, and more. I'm going to follow in my mother's footsteps and model the things that truly make a person beautiful- compassion, kindness, sacrifice for others. My kids are worth that. I am worth that. And so are you.