What Goes Around...

Boy was sick Friday night and Saturday. Girl was sick Saturday evening and Sunday and is being cared for today by Jeff's mom (our Mimi). Just a fever and she seems to be on the upswing. I spent yesterday running errands and cleaned out part of the garage. And then the plague hit me. Hard. So Zach is at daycare, Teagan is with her Mimi, and I am home sick. Last night was hell. When it hit, I literally spent about 2 solid hours in the bathroom. Hopefully back to normal tomorrow...

Update- Our Saturday

First off, I need to explain Friday. It wasn't a good day to start with. I don't even remember all of it. But the highlights were when I forgot to make sure the bathroom faucet was over the sink and ended up with water running all over the counter and floor. Rushing out the door and realizing I forgot to grab clean gym clothes- rush back inside and can't find clean underwear anywhere. And then getting to work and trying to turn on my PC by pushing the logo button instead of the power button. Going to lunch at a special place that is reserved for bad days or celebrations and is normally REALLY good Thai food... and it was hugely disappointing.

It was just an off day.

Jeff is getting ready to leave and calls to tell me that there is a "weird smell" in the house by the front door and he couldn't figure out what it was.

So I'm facing the weekend without him and also have to deal with the mystery smell. Great.

So Christy took me up on my invite to help me sniff out the odor. We couldn't find a source for it (it does seem to be gone completely this evening).

But she is an absolute godsend. Seriously. Talk about a best friend...

Zach made some upset noises around 8:15 and, being the doting mommy that I am, I went to check on him. Thank heavens for instinct. That's when I found the pools of vomit in his crib. Pick him up and get it all over me as it is in his hair, on his pj's, on his hands, his face. I let Christy know what is going on and head to the bathroom with him. Next thing I know... she's stripped the crib. Unreal. I can barely handle my own kid's vomit and she's jumping right in and dealing with the task I was most gearing myself up to confront. She got Teagan back to bed for me, too. Then stuck around until 10, and about 3 more bouts of Zach vomit (this time camped out in the living room and caught in a basin). Once she felt we were going to be ok for the night, she headed home. After offering to stay if I thought I needed her. That about made me cry.

Then she came this morning and took Teagan to dance class and then to the library. Even though she had places she needed to be.

Jeff, my kids, and I owe her. Majorly. She is the kind of friend that is hard to come by and that you hold on to because she is more than worth it.

A good friend holds your hair when you vomit. A great friend helps clean up your vomit. A best friend helps clean up your kids' vomit.

So by the time they get home and Christy leaves again (and even offers to drop off the due-today tuition to finish off the year for dance class), I start making lunch for T. Zach has kept down water and about half a container of applesauce, slept most of the time Teagan was gone, and seems to be doing much better. The kids play outside while I make mac-n-cheese with tuna for me and Teagan (plain pasta for Zach). Until he started stealing Teagan's lunch. Apparently, he was feeling better! And it stayed down! 2 nasty diapers later... he seems a-ok.

He takes a great afternoon nap and Teagan and I just hang out, watch a movie (Horton Hears A Who- which made me cry). When Zach wakes up, we go for a walk. He's in the stroller, T's on her trike, even Sassy joined in the fun. Sat out front, visited with a neighbor, played. Came inside... Teagan's burning up. Check her temp- 100.7.

Insert big sigh...

So I give her some Tylenol and she crashes out on the couch.

She sleeps almost 2 hours, skips dinner. Zach ate some chicken and carrots from my chicken pot pie. Evening is going well.

When she wakes, the meds are doing well and she's feeling normal.

We Skype goodnight with Daddy. Zach goes right to bed- and I'm optimistic that the vomit is behind us. T stayed up a bit longer, had some jello (that will be pretty if she wakes up vomiting tonight, eh?), watched some calming PBS Sprout night shows... and went to bed and sleep without issue. And the fever was creeping back so... more tylenol.

And now I'm sitting. In the midst of all that, I did laundry and dishes, too. Even got a shower. It's all a blur.

I appreciate the well wishes and warm thoughts today!! Jeff is on his way home. Hopefully we get everyone healthy by morning and can enjoy our weekend a little tomorrow!!

Day 27: Love encourages

Daily Reading

"You must choose to live by encouragement rather than by expectations."

"Love puts the focus on personal responsibility and improving yourself rather than on demanding more from others."

How can you say to your brother, "Let me take the speck out of your eye," and behold, the log is in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother's eye. Matthew 7:4-5

In stead of nitpicking and trying to change your partner, instead of focusing on what is wrong with them, Love encourages the other. Choose to find ways to lift up your spouse instead of tearing them down. Be a positive and supporting partner as your spouse seeks to find their true self, their best self. And by doing it together, through positive encouragement, you both become your best selves, your best couple.

Today's Dare

"Eliminate the poison of unrealistic expectations in your home. Think of one area where your spouse has told you that you are expecting too much, and tell them you're sorry for being so hard on them about it. Promise them you'll seek to understand, and assure them of your unconditional love."

Reflections

"When you place high expectations on your spouse that they don't feel internally motivated to attain, what does that tell you about yourself? What are some better ways to deal with these disconnects?"

This one hits home for me and is something I struggle with. On one specific issue. And it's a hard one for me to let go because I feel like I already put a great amount of effort into letting it go and giving him his own time and timeline to figure it out.

Jeff's a packrat and a slob when it come to space. Our bedroom is a disaster area. Our dining room is taken over by stuff. Our garage is almost completely unusable. Our basement... which could be a nice family room... is a massive pile of stuff and garbage. It's unsafe.

Jeff knows it needs to be cleaned up. He knows that this way of living is not ok- especially now that we have kids. But he doesn't change.

Are my expectations too high? From the outside, most would say no.

But I know that there are deep issues for him when it come to his stuff. Deep. And he was like this- and worse- when we met. So I knew what I was getting into.

So this, to me, is exactly the kind of thing that I need to let go and let God, so to speak. And hope that someday, Jeff gets the message and chooses to show his own love by cleaning up our home so that we have more family space and less off-limits space.

So today, I'm going to release it. Take the mess off my shoulders. It's an ongoing thing for me but I need to let it go.

Skype

Any Skypers out there? Jeff just set us all up. He's out of town until tonight and wanted to see the kids this morning so he hooked it up. It's pretty awesome!! Teagan thought it was really neat to see Daddy and Uncle Briney (Brian) even though they are not near home right now. Cutest moment was when she blew him kisses and threw a big hug- and he caught them. Zach got in on it, too. Kept touching Daddy's nose on the screen. Or Jeff would reach his finger towards the camera and Zach would touch fingers with Daddy. I can totally see why people who Skype love it so much!

Tidbits

No big posts today. Just some random thoughts. Zach is sick. Jeff is out of town. Christy is the awesomest friend. Zach didn't want to eat his dinner. Which wasn't too out of the ordinary. Went to bed normally. Threw up, all over his crib, around 8:15. All over his hair, his pj's, everything. I got him into the tub. Christy, being part saint, got the pukey bedding out of the crib. And put fresh bedding on. So my night has continued in this pattern. This morning, after no fluid or solid intake in about 6hours, he had some water and a little applesauce. Threw it up. So we wait. Christy is going to pick up T and take her to dance class in a bit. Jeff is out of town- returning tonight. This sucks.

Day 26: Love is responsible

Daily Reading

Personal Responsibility.

"We are so quick to justify our motives. So quick to deflect criticism. So quick to find fault- especially with our spouse, who is always the easiest one to blame."

"As far as we're concerned, we're doing the best we can. And our spouse just ought to be glad we're as good to them as we are."

The thing that strikes me about that last sentence is how selfish it sounds- and we've already done the "love is not selfish" dare!

The book suggests listening when arguing. Instead of proving yourself right, listen to what your partner is saying.

We should be making deliberate efforts to care for the person we've chosen to love. Not seeking out ways for ourselves to be cared for.

"Pride is very resistant to responsibility, but humility and honesty before God and your spouse is crucial for a healthy relationship."

If you have wronged your spouse, you have to seek forgiveness. You can't force them to forgive you but you can choose to recognize your error and ask for healing.

"Admitting your mistakes is your responsibility."

Today's Dare

Pray for the things you've done wrong. Admit them to your spouse. Be sincere and truthful. Ask for forgiveness. They may respond negatively or with criticism. But maintain your choice to love and be personally responsible for the actions you've chosen.

Reflections

"What does your mate need to see in order to believe that your confession was more than just words?"

An Interview with Teagan

This was a friend's idea- to interview your child and record the answers. I should have done a video interview- and I'm sure I will in the future. If anyone has any good follow up questions, I'll arrange a second interview with Teagan!

What's your favourite game to play? Hm... checkers!

Mom's note: She never plays checkers. I thought she'd say bowling or tennis- which she loves to play on the Wii- or Hullabaloo.

What's your favourite colour? Blue and pink

Mom's note: I thought pink would be first and then purple.

What's your favourite food? macaroni and cheese!

What's your favourite activity? I like to play a lot and lot with my baby brother

What makes mom happy? hugs and kisses and lots of hugs and lots of kisses. When I love you. That makes you happy.

Mom's note: Truer words have never been spoken...

What makes mom sad? When I hurt your feelings...

Mom's note: At least we know some of our messages are getting through logically, even if not always showing up in actions.

What is mom's favourite snack? granola bars

Mom's note: No clue where this came from as I rarely eat granola bars and we rarely even have them in the house! But I guess she doesn't really see me snacking much.

What is mom's favourite thing to do? be busy. doing what? cleaning up!

Mom's note: I hope my mom reads this!!! See- my kid sees me cleaning house and hears me nagging to get things cleaned up!!!

What do you think about Zach? I love him! I love him if he's awake or asleep!

What do you like to do with dad? I like to play with Daddy and have piggy back rides and play horsey.

Where should we go on a trip? Grandma's house. Or Sesame Street.

Mom's note: Jeff was there and he heard the answer... I think Sesame Place is in our summer plan!!