Wednesday, October 5, 2011

Don't Hand That Cape To Me

I am not Superwoman.  I am not Supermom.  I am not Superwife.  I am not Superfriend.

I'm not trying to be Super anything so cancel any orders placed for capes and someone please call back anyone who has applied to be my sidekick and tell them I'm not hiring.

A review-

Teagan is continuing to have anxiety/stress about school.  As I learn more and more about "perfectionist children," I'm learning a lot about her and about what is part of the cause of her anxiety and stress.  You can bet there's a post coming on that topic one of these days.  Jeff and I have to learn some new techniques to best help her feel confident and secure- and these are things that are kind of opposite what we've been doing.  One thing that works best for her is to have a pretty set routine on weekdays.  We get home, have a quick snack, make dinner while the kids unwind in front of the television or playing quietly, eat, homework, bath/shower if needed, pj's, reading, sleep- bedtime being between 7-7:30.  If we stray from that, it can really throw her for a loop.

Work is still going full speed ahead.  It's like one of those super fast bullet trains that has been crammed in with people so that there isn't room to breathe.  It's like I'm one of those people and I know the train is going to crash and I'm trying to get to the safest place in the train to avoid taking too much damage.  More work has been added to my plate.  It's temporary- but that means months.  And the first month will mean getting my hands pretty dirty in all of it.

Zach is doing well.  Even though we had some time together on Saturday, I still managed to let his time be taken over with Teagan things.  He came with me to meet with a friend to talk about Girl Scouts- for Teagan.  We went to one of his favorite play spots- the indoor area at Conner Prairie- and he okayed Teagan and Daddy coming along.  So much for just time with my boy.  But he's happy and we snuggle and cuddle and kiss and laugh together at every chance we get.  Those moments fill me up.

Girl Scouts.  Trying to get a small troop up and running is more of a challenge than I'd expected.  The co-leaders I'm with are awesome and I really value the unique thing each woman is bringing to our planning.  However, we have 2 families that we have heard nothing from and our first meeting is supposed to be on Saturday.  Something tells me it isn't going to happen... but whatever happens, we're fine.  If we can be a troop with just the 3 of us, great.  If the other 2 families join in, great.  We're just going to have fun with it!

Church.  I miss my music team involvement.  Too many Sundays or Thursdays end up with other commitments.  You have to rehearse on Thursday evening to sing Sunday morning.  I'm teaching Sunday School once per month.  I enjoy that time with the kids very much and also having time with a teaching partner.  I'm doing a 20 minute children's choir session every Sunday in between services and we are about to start into learning the Christmas program for this year.  I'm helping to lead a weekly healthy living group so I write a weekly devotional that we use as a foundation for the meeting/workout. 

My husband.  My wonderful husband.  He's been a pretty great support as we hit this really busy season.  He's been taking the intitiative to make dinner several nights each week.  He's been helping out with the kids and bedtime and handling a big chunk of the transporation for school for Zach. He is single handedly making sure we have clean clothes to wear and has taken a turn now and then at tackling the dishes. I can't imagine handling all of this alone.  I think he knows how much I appreciate him.  I know he and I would both love a date night but finding the time and the energy for it is a challenge lately.  Our anniverary is in a few weeks so maybe we will plan ahead for an evening or afternoon alone together.

My house is a wreck.  My workouts are hit and miss.  My diet is sometimes ok, sometimes cruddy.  I feel like I'm going full steam ahead from the time I get up and let the dog out until my head hits the pillow around 10:30 or 11.  I miss blogging and visiting blogs.  I miss Twitter.  I miss feeling like I'm funny.  I miss feeling connected. 

But the one thing that always come through is God.  What I really love is when I get a loud and clear message of what I need to do. 

When I attended Women of Faith in August, I purchased a Women of Faith Bible.  It's the same Bible you're thinking of but it has a series of devotions.  I started the series on Grace back in August.  I intended to read a new devotion each day but, like with everything, I got busy.  I carry it with me with the intention of reading it when I sit down but it tends to slip my mind. 

Today, I was at a point where I was ready to pull my hair out at work.  The workload was overwhelming and I felt like my face was about to slip under the water.  I had one last meeting for the day (after being in meetings back to back since 8:00) and took a few minutes before the meeting to heed the voice I was hearing in my heart- get out that Bible and read the next devotion.

And it was exactly what I needed to hear.  In it, Luci Swindoll shares 6 things that we can do in order to put our own busy-ness aside and be open to what God wants for us and what the Holy Spirit wants to do through us. 

"Forget yourself.  Ask questions.  Take time.  Reach out.  Be kind.  Show up."

That reminded me of what I'd just written in the sheet I'd made for tonight's healthy living group.  This came from a sermon our pastor gave a couple of weeks ago.  These were the things he said would lead to a healthy life but that you wouldn't find in a diet and exercise book.

"Trust God, confess your sin (which includes trying to do better, of course), give generously, have fun."

And then I remembered one of the first devotions in my new Bible that I had marked with a post it tab because it spoke so directly to my heart and I went and read it again.  It's about Noah and how God was leading him through this overwhelming and huge workload.  But God was also there, holding Noah's ladder while he was up working on the roof of that ark.  God's with me, too, holding my ladder steady.

I know not everyone who reads my blog is Christian.  I know not everyone who reads my blog believes in God or even in a higher power.  But as I started writing this post, I wanted to be able to share what it is that gets me through the overwhelming stuff.

I don't need a cape.  I've got something better than super powers and sidekicks.  I've got God holding my ladder steady, reminding me to take time to have fun, guiding me to be kind and reach out, and allowing me to trust in Him and His plan for me.

And that leaves me with a lot of peace and calm and comfort and hope. 



Katherine said...

It's amazing how life can throw everything at us all at once. I'm glad you have some good support people (and a good Support Person.)

Nancy said...

You might not be "super", but you are wonderful.

Isn't it amazing that God always knows what we need to hear at just the right time in our life!