My pastor has often preached about letting God in... maybe you haven't let him in to your finances, your broken marriage, your relationship with your estranged father, you job. And as we discover where we are refusing to allow Him to guide us, we will grow closer on our walk with Christ, be more effective in living to our life purpose.
And every time he's said it... I nod my head and go through a checklist. And I've felt like I have God pretty securely in most areas of my life. I know I'm not perfect and I know I'm a work in progress so I never claimed to have Him completely but I couldn't identify an area where I immediately needed improvement.
And then things happened. And my eyes were opened. And it kinda stung.
A friend and I have become partners on a journey to healthy living. Anyone who has been around this old blog for the past few years may recall that I've been on and then off and then kinda on and then off and then a little bit on and then off again. And I've been struggling to ge tback on the wagon. I've gained a good amount of weight and have known that I needed to take action. But I had no motivation, no desire to plan for it.
And then my friend approached me about maybe working through a book with her - Made To Crave by Lysa Terkeurst. I had tried reading through it about a year ago. Got a couple of chapters in and put it down and didn't pick it back up.
I don't think I was ready for what it was going to hit me with. Because at that time, I had other areas where I needed God.
But this time around... big, huge, smack me upside the head wake up call.
I've prayed for strength. I've prayed for perseverance.
But I've never let God into my food.
I pray that He would give this day my daily bread. And then I would eat as though he'd given me this day my daily convenience store.
I have kept God pretty clearly away from my food, away from my eating. I was willing to thank Him. But I wasn't willing to let Him into this broken relationship I have with food.
For the past month, I've loved gummy bears more than God.
I've loved frosting more than God.
I've loved brownie mix more than God.
I've indulged in large meals, 3 meals per day.
I'm still pretty early on in the book. But there are several things that are staying with me.
I've been loving food more than loving God. I've been trying to keep my relationship with food separate from my relationship with Christ.
I need to focus more on what is beneficial for my health. Everything is permissable, not everything is beneficial. 1 Corinthians 10:23
When it comes to the Fruits of the Spirit... I've been seriously lacking in self-control.
The author uses many Bible references and stories to illustrate her points. Food is talked about in the Bible time and time again. The downfall of mankind is represented by Eve's taking the apple. Esau gave up his birthright for a bowl of stew. Before I can take up my cross and follow Him, I need to give up the current relationship with food.
All of this realization work doesn't mean it is suddenly easy to avoid temptation. Doesn't mean I've magically got time for working out. Doesn't mean I've suddenly begun to only crave foods that are nutrient dense.
It does mean that when temptation strikes, I've got something to ponder before I give in.
I found an area in my life where I hadn't let God in, where I hadn't given God control. And I'm working on it, bit by bit.
Where is God knocking on your heart? Where do you need to let Him in?