Friday, January 4, 2013


In August of 2011, I attended the Women of Faith event in Indianapolis.  It was my first time.  One of the speakers was Dr. Henry Cloud.  I've been something of a fan ever since.

Back at that event, he spoke about pruning.  I thought it sounded like great advice.  It made sense.

But now I am facing the task of actually pruning and it hurts.

There are things that I am part of that I love being part of but that I think are making my life more stressful, more jam packed, and wearing me thin.

Pruning the things I enjoy is actually kind of daunting.

But I'm at a point that I know I have to prune - and not just for the sake of my own needs but for the sake of my kids, too.

We've had this lovely, laid back, lazy winter holiday.  And my kids are better than ever when they have that down time, bonding time, play time.  We've been able to stick to our routines better, too.

There is a Tuesday evening Bible study group that I am part of with Jeff.  I love that time he and I have together in that class.  I love that we are going through it together.  I love the group and what I've learned.

But it might need to be pruned for the sake of being at home more.  For the sake of bedtime.  For the sake of housework and homework.

We attend a mid-week church thing where we gather for dinner and then have small groups / Bible studies.  And it's a great mid-week pick-me-up.  I've been leading things on Weds nights for a while and I enjoy the things I'm being asked to be part of...

But it might need to be pruned for the sake of being at home more.  For the sake of bedtime.  For the sake of housework and homework.

By giving up those two nights, my kids will be home every weeknight and our routines will be... routine.

By giving up those two nights, I would have more down time, more time to focus on me, more time to recover from my stress-filled workday.

It hurts me inside to think about pruning things I love, things I enjoy, things I want to be doing.

But if I'm being honest... there is also a sense of relief and release when I think about letting go of some of those commitments and promises.

If I'm going to be my best as an employee, as a wife, as a mom... if I'm going to be able to take care of myself... if I'm going to follow my talent and passion (singing with the Praise Team)... if I'm going to continue in a church leadership role...

I have to be willing to prune.  To let go.



Unknown said...

Henry Cloud is on the top of my list of great authors. I am going to be changing some things in my life in 2013, for the sake of my health and sanity. I am glad you are going to be pruning this year.

kbiermom said...

Maybe prune a little at a time. Maybe one night instead of both. Or prune both back to an every other week committment at first. And if that isn't enough, prune to one evening every other week. These are activities that feed you spiritually and keep your marriage healthy, right? Maybe focus on your spritual health instead of the leadership roles at church for the time being. That seems essential to your fighting back against depression to me. Just my $0.02 :)

Karen M. Peterson said...

I had to let go of some things too. It was hard, but so worth it.

I think if you're feeling a sense of relief or peace about giving those things up, then that means it's the right thing to do. Even if it's not how you wish it could be. Plus, it doesn't have to be forever. Just for now.