Monday, January 11, 2010

Lessons Learned

You know what I love?
I love when God slaps me with a big old lesson at the exact moment that I need it.
As soon as I walked into church Sunday morning, I felt fragile. I found immediate comfort in the faces of my music family- Jennifer, Ashli, Victoria, Kirsten, Lucy, Lori. We start our quick pre-service warm up / practice. And we get to the second song... and I can't even start to sing it. I turn off my mic and set it down and am just crying. Crying. Kirsten stops and hugs me, lets me hold on for as long as I need to. And I feel like I can't stop. I'm not hysterical. I'm just overwhelmed with this huge mass of worry, concern, love, warmth, and just... everything.
I cast all my care upon you
I lay all of my burdens
Down at Your feet
And anytime I don't know
What to do
I will cast all my cares upon you
It's not that there is some terrible tragedy going on right now. It's just this unknown... it's that I thought it was done... we had chalked it up to "one of those things" and been done with it. And now it's either back or there is some new problem. And hopefully we find some answers this week.
But then I was at church, with my church family, with God, with my worries and a slap me in the face reminder... no, clear instructions... to let it go. To turn it over. Not because I shouldn't take action, seek advice, take care. But because, as the sermon's message reminded me, what I have is today, now.
So an evening with family and then fun with friends... good food and a little wine... time with my church sisters and deep connections to God through music and communion and reminders through music and the sermon... and I'm feeling so much at peace this afternoon. So blessed, so content, so grateful.
I don't know what the week ahead will hold- doctor visits, phone calls, tests, who knows? But I know that I've got great support from my bloggy friends and readers, my family, my friends, my church family, my faith. What I have is now and today and my needs are met. My husband, my kids... we are here, we are together, we are having fun.
So I had this profound, grounding morning... and then come back to my computer to find this little old award from one of my new blog friends- Shell at Things I Can't Say.
And do you know what that little lemonade stand is all about? It's about having a great attitude and demonstrating gratitude. And that's what I'm going to have for this upcoming week- and all along the road ahead, no matter how unknown it is.
Blog awards always require sharing the love and I've been asked to share this with at least 10 other bloggers.
Special mention to Nancy and Ashli- real life friends who commented on my post about Zach's current goings on and the road ahead of us.
All those names up there? Those are the bloggers, friends, who took the time to read my concerns and offered prayers, support, hugs, encouragement. Only seems right and fair to give them an award that's about having a good attitude... about having gratitude.
While I did successfully collect 2 urine samples from Zach, I talked to our urologist's nurse- our friend. Because Zach is already on antibiotics, the samples would most likely come back with no information on the infection. So we are skipping the samples for the time being. But she has us at the top of the list and has already discussed us with the doctor- reminding him of seeing Zach at 8 months old, etc. I assume tomorrow will have some phone calls, questions to answer... and appointments to schedule. Maybe the samples will tell them what they need to know. Maybe more testing will need to be done. I just want answers and I pray that the problem is one that's easily remedied.
So if I'm in your heart, on your mind, on your prayer list... please keep us there for now. But I'm going to keep my focus on now, on today. I'm going to keep praying for the friends and family in my life that are facing hard times, harder times.
And I'm going to keep taking lemons and make some lemonade!


Momza said...

Glad to hear Zach's going to see the doc sooner than later! We'll continue to hold good thoughts for you and your baby!
And thx for the sweet's almost as good as you.

Amy said...

So sorry you are going through this. Not knowing is so difficult. Hope you get answers this week.
Thanks for the award.

Deborah Stewart said...

I am glad your award lifted your spirits and has encouraged you to have a positive attitude. I too hope your week proves to be full of positive outcomes.

Nancy said...

I am so glad that you found some comfort yesterday (and sorry I stayed home, but D was coughing badly the night before, seems better now). You know that you are still in my prayers, along with Jeff, T, and Z.
Hugs again!

mimbles said...

It's a wonderful thing to have a community of friends that will embrace and support you and with whom you can feel safe enough to be vulnerable. I'm so glad you were able to experience that on Sunday.

It's a bit of a bummer that you'd gone to all the trouble of sample collecting for nothing! At least you'll be an expert for the next time :-)

Thank you so much for the award, it's such a cute little lemonade stand and I'm honoured to receive it.

Sending you, Zach, Jeff and Teagan much love, I hope each day holds something good for you and that you don't have to wait too long for answers.

Shell said...

I can't even count the number of tmes that I have broken down crying in church. Usually, it's when I'm trying to handle somethig on my own and I get a good reminder that God is always there.

Keeping your family in my prayers.

As Cape Cod Turns said...

Keep making that lemonade!

C. Beth said...

What a wonderful comfort to you! That's such a great, classic song--simple and beautiful.

Thank you for the award! :) Prayers still coming your way....

Unknown said...

Thanks for the award! Church has a way of doing that to you.... of comforting you, of humbling you, of lifting you up when you need it the most. I'm glad that you have found a certain peace for now. My prayers will continue!

Frogs in my formula said...

Sorry to hear about your difficult time but it sounds like you found comfort and wisdom in all the right places. Good luck!

Unknown said...

Awwww...THANKS! And, you know, one of my favorite quotes is...

When live gives you lemonade, just add vodka!

Hope your week is awesome and your attitude is too!


Mellodee said...

My very first award! I am thrilled and you are so very kind to share it. Worrying about our children is common to all moms, having friends (whether real or cyber) to help carry the load is what we women do. If you've read some of my archived postings, you may have seen the story of our granddaughter's cancer. Its a good story with a happy ending....but the worry would have overwhelmed us without the support of our friends and some strangers too!!!

michelle said...

Finally got back to blogland.

I LOVE lemonade. Thanks for the award.

hope your little man is doing OK

Amy said...

My post is up at
thanks for the award