Tuesday, January 5, 2010

I'm Fat Susan

Do you watch Desperate Housewives? Did you catch Sunday's episode? Each housewife had a "dream," a set of "what ifs" that took them on a flash forward.

They started with Susan. What if... she and Karl hadn't broken up when she caught him cheating on her? In the sequence, she ends up fat. She stuffs her rage and shame and hurt with food and ends up fat. And when they cut to that first future scene and there she is in the fat suit...

It was me. Except... I'm fatter.

And something inside me snapped. It always takes something for us to sit up and take notice, to launch into action. Seeing Susan fat... and really identifying with how she looked... it hit me. Hard.

I've been waiting for my motivation. I've been thinking about it. I've been cajoling myself, poking around in my brain, trying to find where that motivation went. It's been months since I was really on track with exercise and making better food choices. I've been making excuses for this round tummy I've grown... I love my baby pooch but this is a monster fat belly- totally different. I've been trying to ignore how ill fitting my clothes have become, how uncomfortable I am in my own skin.

I'm fat. I'm grossly overweight. I'm terrified to set foot on my Wii Fit for fear of the shrieks and screams it will emit as it attempts to get me to step down so it can breath.

So I'm joining my blog buddy, Amy, and taking the next 12 weeks to a Better Me. She's a featured participant in the American Heart Association of Indiana's Go Red for a BetterU program. She's blogging about her experiences on her blog and on the program's blog. I'm so eager to read along- I've read every post so far and I've read along with her thoughts over at Fit City (one of my fave posts is this one- on Fear) and... she and I just seem to mentally be in similar places with our bodies, our weight, our habits. And I just know... that everything she is going to learn and gain (and lose) over the next 12 weeks is not only a fantastic opportunity for HER, it's a fantastic opportunity for ME.

So I'm doing it. I started yesterday. The BetterU program has a little widget you can set on your desktop, on your blog, on your Facebook page to help you set weekly goals and rewards, to journal progress and thoughts, to learn more about heart disease and women.

My goal for week 1 is to go to the gym for 30 min treadmill sessions at least 3 days this week. I will also get back on that Wii Fit at least once. And if I make my goal? I can have lunch out on Friday with friends (Christy? You available?). I need to set separate goals for weekdays and weekends. So my weekend goal is to get on the Wii Fit at least once OR do 30 minutes of physical activity at home- like marching in place while watching TV.

For right now, I am focused on getting physical activity back into my life, my routine. Next step will be to improve my eating plan... well, to have a healthy eating plan. I have an eating plan right now- eat what I want, when I want it. My diet is atrocious. Fast food. Candy. Junk. Soda. And the kicker is that I love fruits and vegetables! But I lack the discipline to incorporate them into regular parts of my diet.

Anyone care to join me? Join us?


tracey.becker1@gmail.com said...

Good luck! You can do it. Do it for yourself. You deserve to feel good about the skin you're in.

Amy said...

Good luck!
I saw the episode and thought it was some very interesting twists.

mimbles said...

I do have plans for changing some stuff with an eye towards being healthier and fitter and also to curb our spending on eating out and takeaway food. I'm not looking to lose weight, rather I want to explore the ideas of HAES (Health At Every Size) but in many ways the changes I'll be making will be just a less crazy-making version of the good old "lifestyle change" diet thing.

I'm going to go back to planning meals for each week and I've been toying with committing to cooking something special once a week in place of us going out to dinner.

I know I feel so much better when I make the effort to include plenty of fresh fruit and veg in our diet, like you I really do enjoy them so there's no hardship in eating well :-)

We're planning on a farmstay holiday at Easter and there's a place near where we'll stay that offers horse-riding lessons and trail rides. When we dropped in last year to check it out the owner assured me that they would have a horse that would be up to my weight so I'm determined to be fit enough to actually enjoy being back on a horse for the first time in 10 years. Plenty of walking and some weights work will do the trick - we have a treadmill and weights at home - and the dog! - all I have to do is use them.

So yes, I'm with you :-)

Anonymous said...

Good luck to you. Congratulations on your newfound determination (please pass some on to me...pretty please!)

Eternal Lizdom said...

Tracy- Thanks for the encouragement!

Amy- My favorite flash forward/ what if was Lynette's. The scene in the kitchen was incredible.

Mim- I don't have a weight loss goal or a plan to lose weight. But I know that I'm dreadfully out of shape. And it wasn't so long ago that I was posting on this blog about my workouts and such. Glad to have you on board, another source of support!

Distracted- Thank you. And I bet you find your own, too!

Garret said...

Liz: Congratulations on your future SUCCESS!

Unknown said...

Hey Liz! Congrats on finding your motivation! I am trying to get people motivated over on the Workout Accountability board.

If it makes ya feel any better I got back on the wii fit and it only sighed in exasperation once or twice! :-)

I did 30 today on the Wii Fit...I'm heading out this afternoon to check out a gym to "switch it up" a bit!

Good luck to ya...


Karen M. Peterson said...

I have to say that, although I thought her face looked a little ridiculous, that whole Susan segment was pretty right on. I know I've spent a lot of time not taking care of myself because I just wasn't happy. It's something so many of us women do.

And this is the year I'm finally changing that, too.

Good luck to you. I'll be on the journey too!

C. Beth said...

SO awesome!! I'm really excited for you!

I have a high metabolism, but I sometimes can sort of rest on that...and skinny does not necessarily equal healthy. (Just like an "overweight" BMI is not always unhealthy!) I have LOVED the Couch-to-5K program I've done; I've been sticking with it. I don't know how big of a difference it's making in my health, but I'm sure I must be more fit than I was when I started it about 10 weeks ago.

You sound motivated and excited, and I'm totally excited for you!

TJ, Kaylan, Miles, Perry & Simon said...

Good for you! I can't wait to hear how it's going. I need to get motivated. Once we get home from vacation, I plan on watching Desparate Housewives that's on the DVR. I hope it will get my butt in gear!!!!

Lisa said...

Liz, good for you (and Amy)! You never know where you'll find motivation. I found the motivation to wash my face everyday after reading Amy's post on her facial peels - blech. :-)

I am excited to read about your journey - maybe over at FitCity? Let's keep working on that.

Joanie said...

Good luck Liz!

I've been meaning to checkout the link on Amy's blog. I think I'll do that right now.

Amy said...

OMGosh, how awful that I'm just now making it to this post. Thanks for the props. I am learning that so much about weight loss and fitness is mental. We have to figure out how to either get our heads in the game or ignore the garbage our brains are telling us in order to get our bodies in gear.

And I'm learning that this is not an all or nothing deal. Today was a bad day for me food wise. I was like a human vacuum cleaner. But tomorrow is a new day and I'll just begin again.

Please keep us updated on how you're doing.

Angela said...

Good lucky. I lost 80 pounds last year, and it has totally changed my life. It was the best thing I've ever done, and it was worth all of the effort it took to get here.