Monday, March 7, 2011

How I Eat M&M's

First, this post is not sponsored by M&M's. And in all honesty, I wouldn't want it to be because I don't want tons of this candy around me. M&M's were one of my serious "must have" quick grab snacks in the first few months of life with my babies- when nursing at 2:13 a.m., nothing gets you through that like some M&M's.

However, there are rules for eating M&M's. I've watched, with a small pang of envy, as someone grabs up a handful and tosses it all into their mouth. I can't do it. I've tried and it just feels... wrong.

I'll start with 1 simple package of M&M's plain. Note- I'm not a fan of this newer packaging. I liked the plain paper days when it easy to tear off the corner of the bag. This plastic-y package stinks.

A lovely array of M&M's in a bounty of colors. For some, this image is a beautiful thing to behold. For me... this.. is... CHAOS!

Colors need to be paired. So I took this little batch and started sorting. Just like Noah and the animals on the ark- 2 by 2. But there's a problem. With this bit that I poured from the bag, I have singles with no match. A green and an orange.

This, of course, happens in a handful of M&M's. So I created rules to make it work. Unfortunately, green and orange is not an acceptable color combination. Green would work with brown because it's neutral, blue because they're both cool colors, or yellow because yellow and blue make green. Orange works with yellow because they're both warm colors, with brown because it's neutral, or with red because of that lovely warm rule again.

I don't generally pour out M&M's on a white piece of paper to eat them. I pour some into my hand. No way could I just pop this handful into my mouth. This... is... CHAOS.

I have to take out the red, the brown, the green, and 1 orange. There, nicely paired, so pretty.

Now they are suitable for consumption. Still can't just toss that handful back. Oh no! There is a reason for all of this pairing. M&M's must be eaten one on each side of the mouth. So I'd take the 2 orange, into the mouth, sort one to the right and one to the left. Chew and enjoy. Then the next pair. And so on. Until all that's left are the mismatches and then they get paired up as needed.

If I end up with a final M&M that's all alone- a single candy coated bit of chocolate- I will bite it in half with my front teeth and then separate 1/2 to the right and 1/2 to the left.

Believe it or not, this is a bit of an improvement from how I used to eat M&M's. Back in high school or college, I started this dividing and sorting stuff. I used to have to dump out the entire bag, divide the colors, eat an entire color in pairs before moving on to the next color. Then the mismatches would be dealt with at the very end.

I think you can understand why I generally prefer to just decline when M&M's are offered. It's an exhausting bit of mental gymnastics. If only all that thinking burned off the calories of a pack of M&M's!

And I'm dedicating my post to lisleman of A Few Clowns Short. His avatar is this adorable M&M:

Now I think you can understand even more why I have to exclude M&M's when I talk about eating your colors!



kbiermom said...

yer funny :)

This is kind of how I am with regard to organizing things -- give me a suitcase, and everything has to be "just so.". Give me a closet or a room -- and never mind, that's just too big and overwhelming -- I let chaos take that one.

... those paired M&Ms look like chromosomes to me, lol!

C. Beth said...

I think most of us have just a little OCD in us.... It's fun to read about your M&M organizational skillz. ;)

Bill Lisleman said...

I could never eat M&M's with you. I'm a grab it and throw them in my mouth guy. I prefer the peanut ones. Your sorting would drive me to just eating plain peanuts.
Thanks for using my avatar. The actual radio works and I use it. I got it on ebay a few years ago.
thanks again.

Momza said...

Hmmm...Liz. You are pretty great.
Just in case noone else tells you that today. You are.

3 Chunky Dunks said...

That's very interesting! I usually try to bite the colored shell off when I eat them Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't.

Garret said...

You're a loon, that's all I got to say. OK, I lied. Maybe to mess you up I'd buy you some of those one color custom M&M's just to see what you'd do.

Jene said...

This post totally made my day, because I eat my M&Ms in the exact same manner, right down to the particular color combinations. Green and orange together would make me shudder :)

secret agent woman said...

Here via Lisleman. I can eat M&M's by the handful, no problem. But when I do sort them, it's into colors, and then I eat them in order of which colors are best for M&M's. Worst ones first. So blue (this color is just wrong for M&M's), then green, then red, then orange or yellow (these are equal) then brown. I also miss the old paper packages and more than that, I mourned the loss of light brown M&M's which was the best color by far.

Kimberly said...

I don't feel so alone now. I organize my M&Ms before I eat them too. I thought it was just a side effect of being a librarian. Whew! I feel a touch more normal.

Everyday Kathy said...

I used to do the same thing when I ate M&Ms -- well maybe not entirely but since switching to skittles I have become a dump into my mouth gal... weird!

LOVED this post. Visitng via Mrs. 4444's Sampling.

Matty said...

You have an interesting approach here. I'm with Lisleman, just throw an entire handful in and chomp down. In fact, M&M peanuts are my all-time favorite candy. Of course, reading this post doesn't help my new diet. LOL

DB Stewart said...

I love other people with mild OCD.

Mrs4444 said...

You're a cutie pie.