Saturday, May 9, 2009
Teagan and I spent some time alone together this morning. She woke up early, I was awake. And as I watched her brushing her teeth- doing the entire process with no help from me- I thought to myself... "She's the reason. She's the first." We very purposefully added Teagan to our family. We wanted to be pregnant. We wanted a baby. We wanted to grow our family and become parents. Teagan was an extra special addition to our family because we had miscarried our first pregnancy at 10 weeks. It was the most awful thing Jeff and I had gone through together in our relationship. It probably still is. What it taught us was just how badly we really did want to have a baby. As soon as we had the go ahead from my OB to try again, we did. And we got pregnant right away. I spent a lot of time worrying during my first trimester. Approaching certain milestones relating to the miscarriage were emotionally difficult. But my pregnancy with Teagan was mostly ideal. Nausea but not big time sickness. No major body issues, no major complaints. We did have a scare at the start of my third trimester. My heart went out of rhythm. This is apparently a somewhat normal condition when dealing with heart conditions. However, I'd never had any heart trouble, no history of heart trouble in my family, and it isn't a typical condition in pregnancy. I spent 3 days in the hospital. I was in the heart unit but had a Labor and Delivery nurse assigned to my bedside at all times. I was on an IV of some sort of medicine that was supposed to help my heart get back to normal. But I couldn't be on it longer than 12 hours out of concern for Teagan. After 12 hours, the monitors showed that Teagan was fine and my heart was still out of whack. I'd just sent Jeff home to get a shower when the doc came in and explained that we needed to proceed with plan B right away. They were going to knock me out, stop my heart, and shock it back into rhythm. I called Jeff in a panic. He rushed back to the hospital and spent quite a bit of time searching for me. They'd moved me from my room to the heart unit procedure room. While there, my heart doc consulted with my OB. There was concern that "something" could happen and this little heart procedure room wouldn't be prepared to handle an emergency C-section. The decision was made to transfer me to the L&D unit. So off we went to the other side of the hospital. At one point on the journey, as I am sitting on the gurney/bed, with monitors strapped around my belly, wires stuck all over my chest, fear in my heart... we paused in a hallway. I heard a voice say my name and I turned towards it. I was sitting at the end of an empty little hallway. The only thing in that hallway was a sign noting an office. "Chaplain" I took a deep breath. I think I cried a little. But I let the fear go. I said a prayer. I turned my fears over to God. We proceeded on to the L&D emergency C-section room. I still hadn't seen Jeff. The anesthesiologist came in and was going to start my knock out... but got called into what sounded like a very urgent emergency c-section in the next room. 2 nurses, the heart doctor and I waited for a minute. A nurse came in and reported that Jeff had found us and was waiting just outside. More relief flooded my heart. The heart doctor decides we should go ahead and get all the monitors re-hooked up while we waited for the anesthesiologist. They busily starting plugging things in and hooking things up. He then turns on the power. "Wait a minute!" I braced myself, scared of what was coming next. "She's back in rhythm!" I spontaneously went back into rhythm on the journey from the heart unit to the L&D unit. At what point on that journey do you think it happened?