Friday, November 21, 2008


I believe that dreams have meaning and that sometimes dreams are brought to me for a specific reason. Figuring out the reason is the challenge.
For the past 2 nights, I have had very vivid and real dreams about our dog, Ginger, who passed almost a year ago. She was almost 9 years old. Her stomach flipped. She was in intense pain, couldn't eat or drink. It was a middle of the night, emergency vet decision. It was very hard on me and Jeff and we still miss her and talk about her- as does Teagan.
The dreams are happening when I'm not sleeping in my bed- I've been sleeping in Zach's room due to his erratic night time behavior this week. And I've been waking, after these vivid, happy, Ginger is alive and with us dreams, to find Sassy in my bed. Sassy is our toy poodle. She is 10 years old and she and Ginger were constant companions, best friends, pseudo-sisters. She's never displayed any mourning or sadness after Ginger's passing but has focused on her people... she seems to be watching us to see if we are concerned or hurting.
I think part of my funk today is this second dream about my Gee-jar. She was the best dog. In my dreams, I see her face, her eyes. I am petting her and can feel her silky fur, how soft her ears were. I see her scooching across the bed or floor the way she used to... butt in the air, ready to play. Her sad eyes, her playful grin.
Is she coming back to try and tell me something? Am I processing memories because the anniversary of her death is approaching? Am I feeling guilt because I've been semi-considering a new dog or pet?
Or maybe it is all of it.
Bottom line. I miss her. Aside from loving to watch her with Teagan- and she was dedicated to our baby girl- my most fond memories of her were of her sitting by me as I nursed or rocked Teagan to sleep. I would lay Teagan down and sit in her room until she fell asleep and Ginger would stay by my side, her head in my lap, and I would pet her head, her chest, stroke her silky ears. She was so gentle, so patient. Such a good girl.
We love you and miss you, Ginger.

1 comment:

Lynn Freeman said...

Awwww...what a nice tribute to Ginger. I so feel your pain and loneliness for her as I feel the same things for our Jessie who's been gone for about 6 months now. Even though we've got 2 new dogs who keep us very busy, there's still times I'll see Jessie on my downstairs computer desktop and sit there and think about all those times with him. Was kinda weird...the other day I was in the tanning bed and I started thinking about him and cried a bit. Then that night I had a dream about him. I don't understand the subconscious and dreaming but I do think they have meaning as well.