Sunday, January 18, 2009
I just whipped up some chocolate chip cookie dough. Different recipe this time- I'm trying the "chewy" Alton Brown recipe. Zach is napping. Teagan is watching TV- quiet time. I've been cleaning and did a little rearranging in the living room. And felt a... need... to bake. A real craving. Not for the finished product. But for the actual process of going through the recipe and measuring and mixing and such. It's relaxing. I get completely caught up in it. In 10 minutes or so, I am focused on this project and can ignore the stresses that have been pulling me down. Baking allows me to set aside my worries, my anger, my frustration. And gives me a great, sweet reward in the end! Zen- enlightenment attained through meditation, intuition, self-contemplation. I was meditating in the kitchen. Church was hard this morning. I hadn't planned on going, honestly. Zach was napping, Jeff isn't here to help out or keep Zach at home... but Teagan wanted to go to Sunday School. I couldn't refuse her. So, at 9:50, we start getting dressed, Zach wakes up, and we rush out the door by 10:07. Car is iced over. Crap. Scrape it down in 3 minutes flat. We make it to church on time... barely. Teagan was needy and hard to attend to because I had to deal with Zach. Once she went off to Sunday School, Zach was ok. Until the sermon. Halfway through, he discovered that his toy cars could fall out of the back of the row of seats. Greeeeaaaat. He kept trying and trying. And when I stopped him... he threw a car AT me. We spent the rest of the sermon, the prayers, the offering in the "lobby." I at least helped clean up from coffee and donut service while Z ran around. So I was DONE once we got into the car. 2 things changed it. 1. I was trying to decide what we would make for lunch when we got home. Saw the Golden Arches and said "Screw it." So we had McD's for lunch and life was simpler. 2. I knew I would bake. And now... I am in a calm, happy place. Cookies are baking the oven, my home smells homey and sweet. The children are calm and well behaved. This is a moment to preserve in time. To call upon when life gets wild and cars are being thrown at my head. I am in my moment of post-baking enlightenment... my baking zen.