Tuesday, June 30, 2009
An Emotional Outpouring
This is in regards to my prayer request yesterday. Yesterday, I invited moms from that website to meet with me at the hospital and pray together in the chapel. Only 1 mom was able to come. Today, 2 more came. 30,000+ women are praying for this family through this website. Many of us have changed our avatars to lit candles to symbolize our vigil. Today, my friend Tricia and another mom, Deb, came and we prayed together in the chapel. We held hands and I led them in prayer. I don't lead people in prayer. Prayer has always been an intimate thing for me. So it's been a big deal for me to hear this calling from God to invite people to pray with me... to invite people to come and meet and be together and pray together. It's outside of my comfort zone. But it's what is right. After we talked and prayed and cried, we decided to go up and see Michele. She's been moved from ICU to the oncology unit. Her husband will be speaking with Hospice this afternoon. Her mother is there. I held her, she cried, we prayed together. No mom should lose a child. It just isn't fair. I embraced her husband and told him how many women were praying for him, for their children, for Michele. I kept my heart open to God and moved as He moved me, spoke as He spoke through me. I can't even tell you what I said and when and to whom. I completely followed the words coming from my heart. I allowed my tears to flow. I hugged and held hands. Since her cancer diagnosis was announced, I've felt like my purpose was going to be more about the people her life touched, the people who struggled with what she was suffering. I am sad for her... for all the memories she is going to miss... all the events in her children's lives that she will not be part of. I grieve deeply for her children... who won't have Mommy there at dinner, bedtime, morning time, first days of school, sporting events, graduations, weddings, the birth of her grandchildren. My heart breaks for her husband. They are 2 people who were so in love, so dedicated to each other. She always spoke positively of him. I hate to think of how he feels, the worries and stresses he has, and the loneliness in his heart. So many people are impacted by this 1 woman. Her life has created an uncountable number of ripples. A website of 35,000 moms is creating more hugs and kisses for children, more loving embraces with spouses, more moments of pausing to see the sky, feel the sun, hear the wind. There aren't words that makes any of this feel adequate... that makes any of this make sense... there aren't answers. It is what it is. I am so thankful for this community website that I am part of. I've had my issues here and there... but miniscule when you see how this group of women is coming together in support of this family. The prayers, the words of support, the concern. Anyone who says that internet friends aren't real... hasn't had a real internet friend. This group of moms will be coming together and providing food, child care, probably offer up a variety of resources... it is truly awe-inspiring. And I have to admit to being proud to be a part of such an amazing group of women. So go hug your kids or call your parents or embrace your most treasured partner in life... make sure the people who are important to you know how important they are. I have no good ending to this post...