Monday, February 16, 2009

Day 18: Love seeks to understand

Daily Reading

Bottom line is that you have to keep your interest in your spouse alive. You have to seek to continue to learn about them every day. Just like you would about a hobby or passion.

Ask questions, listen, pray.

Choose to study your spouse. Choose to know them better. Choose to seek understanding. Choose to deepen.

Today's Dare

"Prepare a special dinner at home, just for the 2 of you. Focus this time on getting to know your spouse better, perhaps in areas you've rarely talked about. Determine to make it enjoyable for you and your mate."


"What did you learn about your spouse that you didn't know before? How could you continue this process of discovery in other ways, at other times? What were some of the moments that made this evening memorable?"

Before I even get started, I've got a reflection. This book couldn't have been written by parents of young children. Or by families with 2 working parents. I'm amending this dare. I'll make dinner because I am home today, by chance. But dinner will include our kids. We know each other really well. I know there is more to learn- but it can't be forced, it has to happen on its own time. So I'll make a dinner I don't often get to make due to time (pot roast). It's my compromise.

It was a stressful day in regards to kids and behavior. But we got through it. And I made our family dinner- pot roast and veggies and au gratin potatoes. Which was mostly enjoyed by all. And once the kids went to bed, Jeff and I enjoyed a cheesy teen movie on Nick (Spectacular!). And we sat together and held hands and made a lot of jokes and laughed, genuinely, a lot. Some might say that doing this Dare in front of the TV isn't right. But it's something we enjoy together. And we dedicated that time to each other and our chosen activity.

I can't say there are areas we "rarely" talk about, either...

So our evening wasn't about completing a Dare, doing an assigned task. We just enjoyed each other!

1 comment:

Mim said...

This need to spend time focused on each other is exactly what made me put having a once a month night out for just the two of us on my list of goals for the year.

Some of our best conversational times have started in front of the TV, sometimes we'll watch a show that sparks ongoing discussion and we'll end up sitting in the lounge room talking about all sorts of stuff into the wee small hours. At which point we look at the clock and say "oh crap, we are so going to regret this in the morning!"