Sunday, February 1, 2009

Day 3: Love is not selfish

Daily Reading

"If there was ever a word that basically means the opposite of love, it is selfishness."

"Love is never satisfied except in the welfare of others. You can't be acting out of real love and selfishness at the same time."

Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind regard one another as more important than yourselves. Philippians 2:3

We are all selfish. I know that I act selfishly every day, sometimes in big ways and sometimes in small ways. I also know that I sacrifice my own choices, happiness, preferences and wants very frequently. Generally, this is for my children. And often it is for my husband. But probably not often enough. I feel like I need to really dig into this one and look at my own choices and actions and behaviors to determine the areas where I am selfish and not putting the needs and even wants of my husband before my own.

Today's Dare

Today's dare says that we put our time, energy and money into the things that are important to us.

Keep with the "no negative comments" dare from Day 1 and also... invest in your spouse by buying your spouse something that says "I was thinking of you today."


"What did you choose to give your spouse? What happened when you gave it?"

I gave Jeff a box of Life cereal. He had made a passing comment recently about us never having cereal he liked, I asked what cereal he liked, he said Life. I went to the grocery store alone today and was thinking and thinking of what to get my husband to show him I was thinking about him. I didn't want to go with the typical things- a movie, Turtles candy, ice cream, snacks. I also didn't want to spend a lot of money because I think the best gifts are the ones high on thought and low on price.

His reaction? I could tell by the look on his face that he was pleased. I had remembered what he said, I had listened when he said it.

I feel like I give to my husband and my family a lot. I don't feel like buying gifts is the best way to show love or thoughtfulness or a lack of selfishness. I agree that we put our time, money, and energy into things that are important. But I don't think that money has to be part of time and energy to give a gift that shows that someone matters to you.


Mim said...

I bought sexy red lingerie on Sunday afternoon at my friend's bridal shower (underwear and clothing party), does that count? LOL

What with the whole wedding anniversary thing happening we spent all weekend being disgustingly nice to each other.

Anonymous said...

Your buying Life cereal is just a beautiful example of this day's focus! How more appropriate could you get, (well, unless there were a cereal called "LOVE" - LOL) Nice job, Liz. :)

Toni said...

That was a perfect way to show your love. i know that is something I would have loved. :)

Megan said...

What a wonderful way to show you were thinking of him! Not typical or common, but it was something that he had specifically mentioned in passing. Awesome! =)

Lilith Silvermane said...

That is wonderful! It was a great gift for him that cost little, and showed him you are still listening.. not just hearing..

Very cool!!

(My Love Dare Journal is set to private, if you would like to join please e-mail me at LilithSilvermane(at)gmail(dot)com, I set it to private to keep my guy's ex's family from reading my blog and our personal thoughts.)

Dauna said...

You absolutely don't HAVE to spend money to show love, but there are so many ways to and this is one of them.
I bought dh a card (well, actually 2). it was something I used to do all the time in university, but don't anymore.
I am someone whose love language is gifts. It isn't about how much a gift cost, its about what thought was put into it. For example, dh goes to the bulk food store once in a while and gets me 5 jube jubes. and not black ones. It is beside the grocery store. it would be easier for him just to buy a package from the store that would cost 3$ or so. He knows I only like 5 at a time (i once marvelled that after I eat 5 my craving has been satisfied and just finish the rest of the bag just because it is there, leaving the black ones that I don't like). What he does cost less than a dime, but means much more to me than if he went and spent the 3$.