Thursday, February 5, 2009

Day 7: Love believes the best

Daily Reading

Love believes all things, hopes all things. 1 Corinthians 13:7

Bottom line is that you need to read this section of the book to fully get the visualizations provided.

The point is that we have a place where we hold the positives about our partner. And we have a place where we hold the negatives. If you stay focused on the negatives about your spouse, that is where you will stay. And it will fester and grow and destroy the relationship. If you choose to stay focused on the positive, on the reasons you fell in love, and recognize that everyone has areas where they can improve... that is where your relationship will grow and blossom. Rein in the habit of focusing on the negative and choose to focus on the positive.

"Love chooses to believe the best about people. It gives them the benefit of the doubt. It refuses to fill in the unknowns with negative assumptions. And when our worst hopes are proven to be true, love makes every effort to deal with them and move forward. As much as possible, love focuses on the positive."

Today's Dare

This one should be interesting... Take 2 pieces of paper. On 1, list positive attributes of your spouse. Negative attributes on the other. Set them aside in a secure, private place- they'll be used at another time. Pick one of those positive attributes and thank your spouse for it.


"Which list was easier to make? What did this reveal about your thoughts? What attribute did you thank your spouse for having?"

I'm actually not going to share the attribute that I shared with Jeff. Couple reasons- main one being that I chose to share a pretty private, intimate one with him. He enjoyed hearing it. But also... this is something I try to do from time to time. When our daughter was born, I wrote him an "I'm proud of you" letter that told him all the reasons I'm so proud of him. Recently, on my blog, he asked an "interview" question and I answered it rather glowingly, and completely honestly, about him. So I think he has a good, solid idea of how highly I think of him.

My positives list was easier and was at least double the length of the negative list.

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